Saarebas - The Dangerous Thing
by andrew.coll.5099
Summary: In the Qunari, he's given the job of Athlok. He's content until he hears a demon inside his head telling him to flee. A good member should turn himself in to an Arvaarad. No one trusts a Saarebas, a "Dangerous Thing". Worse, his life is in constant upheaval. Things only go downhill for the mage as he struggles to readjust in a foreign world so different from the one he leaves.
1. Chapter 1

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 1: **

Today was finally the day that they'd all be getting their assignments. With him was a small group of children that'd just turned twelve. The tall horned Vashoth that stood in front of them had a list clutched tightly in her hands , and somewhere on that parchment was his number and job. Their teacher, a Ben-Hassrath of education, stood off to the side, beaming. She'd done her duty to the Qun, and the children were ready to accept their roles. In this crowd was a young boy known as number 25538, or Whistler for his abilities.

* * *

I was so excited that my hands began to fidget. Teacher saw this and motioned for me to stop, so I did. After all, where would everyone be if they weren't working towards what was best for the Qun?

Beside me stood my friend, Nimble. He was a young Vashoth, but already his horns were starting to come in. Last night, when we'd talked about what each of us hoped to be he'd said it best, "What's good for the Qun is what's best for us."

He remembered this, and smiled. Nimble was sure to be be given the role of Ben-Hassrath. After all, he was clever and fast on his feet, hence his nickname. He could also tell a lie better than anyone Whistler knew.

"The secret," Nimble had told him many times before, "Is to stick as close to the truth as you can. It gives the lie the ring of truth it needs."

I'd never been any good at that kind of thing. If there was one thing I was sure of is that I wouldn't be in the Ben-Hassrath or a Hissrad, a spy, and that was okay. No, I had other hopes.

Finally, the Vashoth stood up and unfurled a scroll.

"I am a Tamassran, and I will be assigning you your roles. Please remember young ones that while we're assigning you a role now, your position in the Qun may change. We do not waste talent when it's clear you are meant for something else. The roles you'll be assigned are based off what you have shown aptitude for in the past."

The group around him was completely silent. I tried to do the same.

She began again. "With all that said, I shall begin."

And so she did. She called out numbers and the appropriate child stepped forward. When they were in front of her, she told them their role and they returned to the group. I wasn't sure he could be as calm as them when his number was called.

"Number 25510."

Nimble stepped forward, and I stood on my tip-toes to see over the taller children around me. He came forward and waited.

"Number 25510," she repeated, "You will be part of the Ben-Hassrath. You shall now be known as Hissrad."

I felt my face split into a smile, so happy for Nimble, now Hissrad of the Ben-Hassrath, that I could hardly take it. I let out a long piercing whistle for him. Nimble found me in the crowd and smiled.

"Children, enough!"

I stopped, pretending that I hadn't been the one to cause the disturbance. Nimble walked back into the group and stood beside me, smiling from ear to ear. My face wore the same expression. The Tamassran called more names until it was my turn.

"Number 25538."

Without even remembering how, I was standing in front of her, doing my best not to tremble. Here it was. I held my breath, hoping she'd say…

"Number 25538, you are to be an Athlok working in the fields. You shall be known as such."

And then I was back among the others, all smiles. I'd gotten what I wanted. Other were called to the front and I did my best to pay attention, but was too consumed with my new future. I would be be working around plants and animals. Horticulture had always been a passion of mine and the Qun had seen fit to honor me with this duty.

And then the Vashoth was rolling up the scroll and thanking them all. As a group, we thanked her back as she left. Their teacher came forward and told us all how proud she was. When she stepped back, I noticed a small group of adults sitting off to the side. They stepped forward as the teacher spoke.

"Now children," she began, "I know you will all do the Qun proud in your new roles. I have had the pleasure of education you all in the ways of the Quanari. For many of you, you will be taught the ways of your role and go from there and no longer need education, you should not fear it. The Ben-Hassrath are here to make sure you understand your role in the Qun, and there is no shame in needing further instruction."

She was right of course, but I hoped to focus my entire being on agriculture and not worry about things that didn't concern me.

"Children, I'm asking that you go towards the appropriate person after they have introduced themselves. They will show you to your new living quarters and begin in your professional instructions in your new roles. Please make us all proud."

One-by-one, the adults stepped forward and asked for a certain role. I couldn't help but notice that the one Nimble left with for the Ben-Hassrath Hissrad was hornless Vashoth. When my eyes met their I lowered mine as a show of respect. Nimble waved and I waved back. Hopefully, I'd see him sometime soon. Then a tall elf woman stepped forward.

"Would all Athlok please follow me?"

I and a few others joined her.

"Welcome. You may call me Mayflower and I have the privilege to teach all of you the ways of our agriculture and animal husbandry."

When she turned to leave after we'd all been introduced, we followed closely. From behind I heard the next adult calling out over the diminishing crowd.

"Would all Arvaarad please step forward?"

I turned to see that only one of the group had been given that title. Arvaarad were the ones to hold back the evil, so it was no wonder that one of the hornless Vashoth children had been given that honor.

"This way, child." Called out Mayflower.

I turned and followed as the group walked towards our new home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 2: **

The Athlok instructor, Mayflower, knelt in the dirt to show us how to properly take care of a new crop we hadn't seen before.

"You see how I am digging deeper on either side, leaving a small mound in the middle? This process is called trenching. It is how we plant this particular perennial. Now who can tell me what a perennial is?"

My hand shot into the air.

"Yes, Whistler."

"A perennial is a plant that will come back year after year so long as the bulb or root remains intact and healthy."

She nodded. "Correct. The reason that perennials are so valuable to the Qun is because they're a guaranteed source of food so long as the soil and roots remain healthy. Not all Quanari like asparagus, but we are not concerned with likes or dislikes, only what is for the good of the Qun."

We all agreed and continued the lesson. Later in the evening we were allowed to eat with the others. I found Ben-Hassrath seated in a group together. Nimble sat with a small group of others. I went over and joined them. When he saw me, his face lit up.

"Whistler! Come, sit beside me. Tell me about your new role."

I did so and asked about his in turn.

"It's great. We're focusing on strength training right now. I'm fast, but nearly as strong as Id like to be. Maybe I should join you out in the fields with a plow to build up my muscles, huh?"

We both laughed, drank, and ate as he introduced me to some of his fellows. One of them was eating asparagus and I used the opportunity to show off my new-found knowledge.

"Boy, Whistler, you never miss an opportunity to show off, do you?"

My smile was mocking. "Said the man who lied so well to teacher that she believed him when he said he had already been given his role in the Qun. That was probably the reason they selected you to be part of the Ben-Hassrath."

"No doubt!"

And so the days went. With each passing one, both Nimble and I learned more about our positions and how they fit into the Qun. One day, some months later, I was out in the field, assisting in planting some new produce as Mayflower watched over us and instructed. I was doing what had earned me my nickname, whistling while I worked. I couldn't be happier. My line was going in faster than anyone else's. It pleased me. I was just digging the seventh hole when I saw a shadow fall over me. I stopped to look up. It was Mayflower.

"Whistler, you're doing an excellent job."

"Thank you very much, Ma'am. I strive to do my best at everything I do."

"Yes, and it shows. Would you mind stopping for a moment so that I may inspect your work?"

I nodded, dusted off my knees, and took a small break as she went down my line. I saw her stop and dig one back up. She flipped it over and poked around in the root structure, then replaced it with the others. The next one she moved to had its leaves and soil saturation inspected. When she stood she was smiling. I offered her a glass of water, which she accepted with a thanks.

"Your work is near perfect. I would caution you only to be careful when watering plants during midday. Make sure the water hits only the soil and not the plant. Droplets on leaves can become a prism that can reflect too much light and heat, thus damaging the crops."

"I was unaware that I'd done so. I will be more careful next time, Mayflower."

"Good. Everything else was perfect. You retain information well, Whistler. I am very pleased with your work. It's clear you have a flair for this kind of thing."

"I like to watch life come into the land. It makes me happy."

Her smile spread further across her face. "Yes, and when you're happy, you whistle."

"That I do, Ma'am."

I went back to work and continued my song. When the day was over and I looked back over my row I took pride. My plants were already showing signs of thriving. Not one of them had the characteristic trait of transplant shock or wilting. All blazed green as they swayed in the breeze. That night, I took my dinner back to the fields and ate as I watched the sun go down. The wind blew through the trees, whistling as it went. I joined in until it died back down, then sat there, content and at peace. The silence was disturbed by a voice from behind me.

"I thought I'd find you out here."

I turned. It was Nimble.

"When I didn't see you at dinner I figured you'd be out here, but you made it hard on me to find you."

"Why's that? I would have thought you'd be better at that, Ben-Hassrath."

His smile was sheepish. "Yeah, well I tried listening for you, but you're not whistling."

"No, not right now."

"Why?"

I paused and looked back over the fields. "I was just thinking, that's all."

"About…?"

"The future. How long has it been since we were all given our roles in the Qun?"

He stopped to think about it. "A few months now, why?"

"It feels like less time than that. I'm just wondering what I'll learn when Mayflower, my Athlok instructor, has taught me everything there is to know about my position. What comes after that?"

"What comes after is that you get better at it. Our lives are a study in perfection."

"Yes, I know."

"Then why do you seem sad? Is something troubling you?"

I got up and walked out to my line of crops. "No, not really. I just want to be able to help and grow. Sometimes I fear that these fields will be the only thing I ever do or know."

He came out to the fields with me. "And so what if they are? Your work is still important to the Qun. Without people like you, none of us could be fed. And even if you master your position, you can always rise through your ranks, or try to learn Qunlat."

We laughed. Neither of us has been any good with the language, and if you don't strive for perfection than it is better not to try at all.

"Cheer up." He said. "I'm sure you'll do great things."

"And I am sure you will as well, Nimble. I didn't ask, how go your studies?"

"Great! I'd show you what I learned, but I don't want to hurt one of the best Athlok that we have. My instructor says that I show great promise for espionage work."

"Does that mean that they'll send you out among the Tal-Vashoth and Bas?"

"Maybe. I guess it all depends on my future training."

I leaned down to inspect one of my newly-planted crops and addressed my next remarks to it instead of him. "If they do send you out, will you let me know? I don't want to worry about you if you suddenly go missing."

"Don't worry about me, it's all the others that should be worried if I'm out in the field. No one's as fast as I am, Whistler. Stop worrying. Anyway, I'd better get back to bed. My instructor won't be pleased if I'm too tired to keep up with the others."

"Right. Sleep well."

I waved good-bye and he headed off. I sat a little while longer. The breeze picked back up and I joined it in it's music. The air was cooler out here then back in the tent, and I wanted to enjoy it a little while longer. As I watched the stars above, I gently stroked the leaf of a nearby plant and whistled a melody to blend with the sounds around me. I'm not sure how long I sat there that night but when I got up to go the skies color had changed. I took another look back over my work. Nimble was right. if I continued my hard work, I might move up in the order, but all I really wanted was to be of use. That night, I slept soundly.

The next day, I was shaken awake by one of my fellow Athlok.

"What is it?"

"Come see, one of your crops is almost at full maturity already. Mayflower's calling it a blessing of the land!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 3: **

Out in the fields I saw my fellow students and co-workers clustered around one plant in my row. I followed them. Mayflower stood off to the side. When saw me coming, she smiled.

"Whistler, what did you do to get this plant to respond so quickly?"

"Nothing Ma'am."

The people that had been blocking my view shifted and I saw that the seedling was now nearly in full bloom, ready to produce. I walked closer for a better look. Not only was it almost fully grown, but its green sheen made all the other nearby plants look pale in comparison. I turned back and tried to explain it further to her.

"Really, I did nothing that you hadn't taught us to do. You observed everything that was done. If this plant responded over the others it must have been during its initial growth. Maybe the seed itself was special."

"Yes," Began Mayflower doubtfully, "I'll have to look into that. Still, none of the seedlings appeared any different from the others. I'll have our researchers, the Ashkaari, study this plant. If this truly is some sort of mutation in the strain, it should be cultivated."

She called one of the other Athlok over to carefully dig up the plant. The others stood by and watched until she turned to them and clapped loudly.

"Now, now. There's nothing to see here and much work to be done in the next field. Let's use our time productively while we walk in that direction. I'll tell you about the selective breeding process of our horticulture and how crops like this must be noted."

She began to speak but for once I wasn't listening. That had been the plant I'd been sitting beside as I looked up at the stars. I could even see where I'd been sitting the night before. Odd that out of all the plants to rapidly grow, it'd been that one. I was called back from my musings by a sharp tone.

"Whistler!"

"Yes?"

It was Mayflower. "I was asking what the term for mutations in crops was called."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, I don't know."

"That's unlike you. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, I just slept poorly last night, that's all."

She gave me a long look. "Perhaps you should see a healer about it?"

"Yes, if it continues I will. Thank you for your concern."

She began her lesson again, and I focused with all my might on what she was saying. Best not to let the mind wander away from my purpose. If anything, I should be elated, so why do I feel so… off. I didn't have long to think about it as we were all put to work tilling the soil. Nothing's better for a troubled mind than hard labor. Before I knew it, I'd left those thoughts behind and was able to focus again.

Days passed, and I'd all but forgotten about the strange plant. Today, we were on yet another field, this time growing grain for the purposes of feeding livestock. It'd been a particularly enlightening session as this had all been new to me, which is why I hadn't noticed the person approaching our teacher until they interrupted her.

"Athlok, may I have a word with you?" Said a horned Vashoth woman.

"Certainly. Class, we will continue this discussion momentarily."

Their discussion was too brief for me to even turn and make a comment to one of my fellow students before she was back.

"Whistler, the Ashkaari would like a word with you. Will you please join her?"

"Certainly."

For an unknown reason, my heart began to beat hard against my chest. Maybe it was the way that she walked away from the lesson without addressing me or asking me to follow her. I kept pace. When we were about a quarter of a mile away, she turned, sat on the ground, and beckoned me to join her.

"Come, Whistler was it? Join me."

I did so, more or less stumbling to the ground. I was unsure of her name and rank, aside from her acting as an Ashkaari, so I kept my voice polite.

"What may I do to assist you Ashkaari?"

"Well now, I would like to talk to the young man who planted a certain crop that was almost ready to bare produce a day after it'd been planted. What can you tell me about it?"

I played for time. "What exactly to you mean Ma'am? I'm not sure how to answer that."

"No need to be frightened child. I'm only here to gain information. Just tell me about what you can remember. Was there anything unusual about the seedlings or the soil you planted it into?"

"Not that I noticed, but I'm still learning my position."

"Yes," She began, and gave me a small smile. "Your teacher tells me that you show great skill and dedication. You are doing the Qun a great credit."

She stopped speaking abruptly and stared at me. The silence stretched on.

"Um… thank you, Ma'am, but all that I do is to strive for perfection." It came out halting.

"Is everything alright, Whistler?"

My heart drummed so loudly against my ribs that I feared she could hear it.

"Yes, thank you for your concern. I'm just unaccustomed to speaking with an Ashkaari. Please forgive my lack of manners."

She blinked and went on. "Does my position make you uneasy? What do you know of the Ashkaari?"

"Only that you are in charge of research, science, philosophy, and have found enlightenment."

"Yes, that is correct, so there's no need to feel uneasy around me. If it helps, you may call me by my nickname, Scribe."

Meaning she was known for her writing. You got a nickname like that only under special circumstances. She probably knew Qunlat. This somehow made me even more nervous, but I did my best to master it.

"Yes, Scribe. Is there anything else I can do to assist?"

"So there was nothing unusual about it; the plant, I mean."

"No, nothing." I waited, but she didn't go on. "Did you find something unusual about it?"

"No, we didn't. It appears to be a completely normal plant, aside from the fact that it grew overnight. We've tried to cultivate it by planting its seeds, but so far none have shown similar properties. What would you say to helping me in my research?"

Unbidden, my voice cracked. "Me? A-am I to be re-educated as an Ashkaari?"

"Calm yourself, child. Nothing will be asked of you that will not be for the good of the Qun. I only ask that you spend a few days with me as we look into this. Perhaps your views on agriculture can shed light on this. You have nothing to fear. We'll visit your fields and take samples, that's all. Can I count on your assistance?"

Thrum. Thrum. Thrum. She must notice the way my chest pounds. I take a deep breath. "I will do whatever is asked of me, Scribe. Thank you for taking such an interest in me." I paused. "Has my teacher, Mayflower, been informed that I will not be returning to classes?"

"Don't worry, we will make arrangements. This need not be a permanent change for you, Whistler. I know you're eager to learn. I'll do all that I can to assist you in that. Come now. We will speak with Mayflower and let her know."

And so she did. I stood by as my classmates watched me, the weight of their gaze settled over me like a heavy winter blanket. Before I knew it, Mayflower had turned back to the others and was continuing to talk to the class about chaff and other feed as I was being led away by Scribe.

"For now, I'll ask you to stay in my quarters. I'll find your presence and conversation comforting and would like to know more about you and what you have learned as an Athlok."

I swallowed hard before speaking. "Yes, Ma'am."

I'd forgotten her name, and had reverted to formalities. Neither of us spoke after that. My mind was on other troubling matters as something I was unaware of tickled at the back of my skull, but what was it? Probably just nerves. I was too nervous to probe anymore at it and instead followed along behind the Ashkaari whose name I was too frightened to recall.


	4. Chapter 4

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 4:**

This was my third day with the Ashkaari, Scribe. My fear must have been easy to spot because once were alone she did all she could to put me at ease, telling me all about herself. As I'd suspected, she'd gotten her nickname for her ability to fully read and write Qunlat. I asked her to demonstrate and she did to perfection. I knew the kind of dedication that took, and I admired her for it. When she asked about me, I feel all over myself trying to. My stammers kept getting in the way. At one point, she rested her hand on my shoulder and told me to breath. Scribe sent to the healers for something to calm my nerves and I drank it down greedily, eager for my composure to be restored. Whatever it was, it burned going down and had a warming effect on me. Whatever it had been, it had a secondary effect on me. Before I knew it My eyelids grew heavy and Scribe had to assist me to my bed. I was nodding off even before the covers were over me. I was much more comfortable around her on the second day after she introduced me to her co-workers; however, we couldn't put of the reason for my visit any longer. We stood in a room with tables, plants, and many leather-bound books.

"Whistler, can you please look over this crop and tell me if it's the same one that you planted."

I did so.

"Scribe, there's no way that I can be sure. It certainly is the same type, but it's been too long, and when I placed the seedling in the ground there was nothing to distinguish it from the others."

Her smile reached her eyes, and, despite my nerves, I returned it.

"Smart boy. But I assure you, it is the plant that was given to us from your field. We've run tests on the soil, seeds, and produce itself, but they all match that of other plants. Nothing about this one is remarkable or worthy of comment. The only difference is this one came into maturity in days as opposed to weeks."

There were other plants of the same variety beside it. Then I took a closer look. Scribe was wrong, there was another difference between them.

"My plant seems greener than the others."

"Mayflower was right about you, you're far sharper than other boys of your age. Yes, I wanted to see if you could spot that as well."

"I won't be a boy forever. Soon I'll be a man under Qunari Law."

"Yes, soon, but not just yet. I'd like to go over every step you took when interacting with this plant. There must be something that we can learn."

We tried, but how can you go over something that was so unimportant at the time? I told her as much but she insisted that we at least try. She kept at it. The day ended but we were no closer to solving the mystery than we'd been at the start of it. I went to sleep that night feeling like I'd let her down.

Now on day three she and I were back in the fields. I was showing her, under the supervision of Mayflower, how I plant seedlings.

"So then I dig a shallow hole and make sure to carefully cover it back up, remembering not to press too hard. A little water but not directly on the plant, then it's time to move on to the next one."

Scribe turned to Mayflower. "And this is all standard practice?"

She nodded. "Yes, and he's doing everything perfectly."

"Show me again."

And so I did, again, and again, and again… Soon, I forgot that both she and my teacher were watching. I began to relax and with my composure returned the music. I whistled a tune I'd heard two birds singing back and forth to each other.

"Now I see where you got your name from, Whistler. You're quite adept with your mimicry."

For her benefit., I let her hear a few others. The day stretched on into the evening. As we walked back for dinner I asked Scribe if I could sit with friends. I wanted to see Nimble.

"We were in the same class together. Can I please, or do we need to talk more?"

The smile on her face was indulgent. "No. By all means, sit with your friends."

I raced through the line and back towards the tables. Nimble made room for me when he saw me coming.

"Causing trouble again, Whistler? What's this I hear about you already getting re-educated by an Ashkaari?"

"How's that story already spread?"

He chuckled. "How hasn't it? Word is you're some sort of horticultural genius. What I don't understand is if you're so good at your job, then why are the Ashkaari taking you away from it?"

"Whoever your sources are, they've got it wrong. I'm only the one that planted this miracle plant. The Ashkaari, Scribe, is having me go over everything that I did, but so far we've had no luck. So much for my horticultural genius."

"Cheer up, everyone has an off day. If you can't wow them with your botany skills, let them hear that magical gift of yours: your whistle."

"They did and the Ashkaari was impressed. Maybe I'll get re-educated just for my musical skills alone. And you? How are your successes?"

"Nowhere near yours, I can assure you of that. The Ben-Hassrath training can be exhausting. I'm still learning. I envy you your work."

"I'm sure in a year's time I'll say the same thing to you."

"I doubt it!"

We finished our meal together and I rejoined both Mayflower and Scribe.

"Was that your friend?"

"Nimble? Yes, he's learning the ways of the Ben-Hassrath."

"That is a very important role in the Qun, but no more so than that of Athlok. We all have a part to play."

"I know Scribe. I'm happy with the role I'm in."

"Yes, I can see that when you work. Do you always whistle like that?"

"It helps to pass the time."

"I suppose it does, where did you learn to do that? I've never heard someone be able to do so for that long without taking a breath."

I smiled, showing the first sign of pride. "I do it by inhaling at the same time that I'm exhaling. It's called circular breathing. I was taught to do so by my fa-" I cut myself off. "… By a man before I became a member of the Qunari."

My slip hadn't gone unnoticed, but she chose to let it pass and changed the subject. "Well, I have other matters to attend to. Meet me tomorrow before the morning bell and we will continue our research."

I spent the rest of the night catching up with old friends I hadn't seen since before we'd been given our roles in the Qun. When it got late, they headed back to their beds. I turned back towards where I was staying with the Ashkaari. It took me by the fields we'd been working in that day.

Out of impulse, I took a detour. I wanted to see how the plants were doing. It'd felt good to get back in the fields.

As I got closer and the rows came into better view my steps began to falter. One line in particular was larger and more mature than any of the other around it. The ground had recently been turned and was soft. As if in a dream, I found one of the foot-prints near a plant and placed mine inside of it. It matched; not a surprise as I'd been the one that had planted them. The first few were still just sprouts, but the rest were well on their way towards harvest. I'd somehow been the one to plant more of the mysterious seedlings that grew faster than any others.

I just stood there, unable to move as my unconscious mind picked at this mental knot. It wasn't the seeds, couldn't be. None of the others reacted like that. Also, the chances of them all being in my row were impossible. No, they weren't miracle seeds. It had to be something I was doing that caused them to mature faster than they should, but what?

I don't know how long it took me, but a line from Nimble came back unbidden: If you can't wow them with your botany skills, let them hear that magical gift of yours: your whistle.

Magic.

Whistle.

Mature crops.

And just like that, I had my answer: The cause of their growth was me. I'd been using magic. That meant I was a Saarebas, a potential danger to the entire Qunari. I was a dangerous thing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 5: **

I just stood there, alone in the middle of the field, doing nothing. I tried to think, to react, but nothing happened. There was a tickling at the back of my head stopping me from going any further down that road. I tried to get around the wall, but it stretched in all directions.

Then a part of me that I didn't know came forward. The wall in my mind grew stronger and I retreated back. I felt it as it reached out, but without distinguishable words. As I listened I fell back even further. When I saw myself begin to move I wondered who'd caused it. My body moved forward without any input from me. Whoever this person was, he wasn't Whistler. This man was too calm and calculated. It was the voice of the mature man I was growing into. Before long, the sounds in my head became words and I listened along, attentively.

_What to do? The correct thing for a Qun who suspects himself of having magic is to speak to an Arvaarad immediately. From there, I would be placed under observation and if I show skills, it would mean the mask and leash._

I nodded. It was the right thing to do

_It is an option… However, there were other options available as well. This wasn't necessarily magic. _

Again, I agreed. I had no actual proof. I could consult Scribe and ask for her opinion on the matter.

_Yes, another option that remains available. _

My gaze moved my gaze to the ground and looked down at the mature plants. One thing is certain, this evidence needs to be removed, immediately. To the right were stacked seedlings, ready for planting. Quick as that, A plan was enacted. I watched as my body knelt in the dirt and began digging out the plants, swapping them for the others.

_They need disposed of. They can't be seen._

I felt myself coming forward again as our positions shifted and the wall spun. No. This was life. This was my calling. I can't kill a plant I grew for no reason. If what I'm doing is magic I'd caused this, not the plant. All they'd done was to be in the line of fire. They didn't deserve that.

The other presence inside was doing what I'd done, looking for a way back to this side but I remained in control.

What to do with them? I surveyed the area for a solution and found one. There were fields off in the distance of the same type. I grabbed up the plants and headed in that direction. These crops were a little less mature, but the difference wouldn't be as recognizable. I intermingled them with the others, got up, dusted myself off, and headed back to where I was staying with the Ashkaari. I slipped in unnoticed and lay there. Thinking.

Were there any other answers for what I'd done? No, none came to mind. That meant only one thing, I'd inadvertently used magic on the plants. That meant I was... a Saarebas. Try as I might, it was the only answer that made sense. That mature part of me with the cold logic refused to resurface. Without him, I grabbed at the problem but never managed to take hold of it. One thought bled into the other until I was no longer aware of myself. I'm not even sure how, but I must have slept because the next thing I knew it was morning and I could hear Scribe rising from the other room

The previous night came back, magic and deception. I was unable to move. What should I do? Then, a voice deep inside me spoke, but it wasn't me. It wasn't the voice of reason or a more mature me either.

_What would-_

I lurched forward and was on my feet before I knew it. If it was not my voice then it was the voice of another entity that had come inside unbidden. Someone, or something, was inside me that was not me. That could only mean one thing: Possession! There was a voice and unseen hand inside of me. It'd called upon me to act last night, and I'd done so, thinking it was just my subconscious. The voice had even asked me to dispose of my hard work. Only one type of thing did that, a demon.

Possession. Demons. Saarebas. A dangerous thing.

Panic flooded through me as my breath came, shallow and labored. I have to tell Scribe. It was the only thing to do, for the Qun. I'm a danger to myself and others. Worse, when he'd spoken inside me I'd felt the contours of his personality, maybe even a name. If this were true, there could be no doubt of possession. I heard the steps of Scribe as she walked towards me.

The other voice tried to speak but there was no more room left in my head, only fear. I need to get up, confess, and be leashed! I need to get up! I need-

"Whistler, what's wrong?"

My breathing stopped and my body lurched. Quick as that, I was spattering the floor with the contents of my stomach. Every breath and muscle in my body was occupied on this one task, trying to abandon a sinking ship but I held on and fought back. It was as if the act of emptying my stomach could also purge me of the demon inside. A basin appeared before me and I heaved into it as Scribe made sounds behind me, none of which I could make out.

Other people came as I started to come back under my own control. My mouth was pried open and the contents of a glass jar were poured into it. Something foul and black was slipping down my throat but I managed to keep it down.

A voice behind me spoke. "That should help. Ashkaari, is this how you found him?"

"Yes, I believe he woke up this way."

"Can you please fill me in with more details?"

Their voices grew faint as second person came into sight. "Lie down. I'll place a cold cloth over your eyes, which, along with the tonic, should help ease the pain."

It felt like large invisible hands were squeezing my chest, constricting my ribs inward. I wanted so badly to tell this person, any person, that I was a danger to myself and others but every time I drew the breath into my lungs it went right back out. The harder that I tried, the stronger the invisible hands became until I could only draw short, shuttering breaths.

"Arigena, come quickly! He's worsening!"

They said more, but words failed to materialize into any coherent meaning. When I next opened my eyes, I was in a different room, alone. I felt cold and clammy as the smell of herbs filled my nostrils. When I tried to raise my hand, it failed to respond. I tried again, but got no response. Even the simple act of turning my head could not be accomplished and the effort left me drained as the darkness fell over me.

* * *

"Whistler, can you hear me?"

It was a voice I didn't know, but I opened my eye all the same. I think it was one of the healers from before, but I couldn't be sure."

"Do you know where you are?"

My voice rasped as it came out. "N-no."

"I am an Arigena. You have been taken here for healing. Do you feel well enough to speak?"

I nodded.

"Good. Can you tell me what you remember?"

Now, I should tell them now. I need to tell them… something. But what?

"Whistler?"

I took a deep breath and spoke. "The last thing I remember was a sense of urgency. I wanted to tell the Ashkaari, Scribe, something but the rest is a blur."

"What did you want to tell her?"

"I'm not sure. I can't remember. All I know is it felt urgent at the time. I think I was scared."

"Of what?"

"I'm not sure. I can only recall bits and pieces after that."

The Arigena's brow creased. "Could it have been that you wanted to tell her that you felt ill or unwell?"

"… That might have been it."

As I spoke, a feeling of dread began to build. There was something important I needed to say, but what was it? I was going to tell them something was wrong. What was it that had been wrong?

"Do you remember anything else?"

"I woke once in this room and tried to get up, but couldn't."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I think I was too weak."

"That's not surprising. You've been out for two days now. We have you under observation in case what you have is contagious."

"And am I?"

"From what I can tell, no. I'm not sure what was wrong with you, but it seems to have passed. I'd still feel better if you stayed here for another day or two under my care. It's better to be safe."

Safe. Danger. Something stirred in my head. I must have made a face, because the Arigena spoke again. "What is it?"

"It's nothing. It's just some memories returning. I still feel unwell. Can lie back down?"

"Of course. Sleep. You'll feel better in the morning."

Yes, maybe I would. The healer left the room and I closed my eyes. What I needed was rest. As I slipped into my dreams, a voice tickled at the back of my awareness.

_Yes, rest Lucas. Tomorrow you'll feel better._

I listened to the voice and slept.


	6. Chapter 6

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 6: **

Today I was back in the fields. Scribe was no longer meeting with me regularly. It was decided that the plant was a fluke. I was both happy and sad about this; happy that I could get back to my role in the Qun and sad that I was no longer learning about how the Ashkaari conducted their research. I also missed the reassuring presence of the Vashoth.

The healer, or Arigena, gave me permission to return to the fields, but cautioned me not to over-exert myself for the first few days. As such, Mayflower and I spent time together going over the material I'd missed. It had been about a month.

"So, we need to mix more than just seeds into the feed for chickens? I thought that's what they ate?"

"Yes and no. We call the seeds scratch. It helps them to stay occupied as they search for food, but if their diet consists of nothing else they won't get all the vitamins they need. When this happens, you get hens that lay soft eggs that aren't safe to eat."

I nodded and the lesson continued. We had a lot of material to go over, and she and I spent that day and the next covering it. During dinner, she and I were still talking about a point I wanted clarified when I saw Nimble coming towards us.

"Whistler, where've you been?"

"I'm surprised you don't already know that. Aren't you supposed to be Ben-Hassrath?"

My tone had been playful, but he frowned back at me. "I'm serious. I heard you were under the care of an Arigena! That's no laughing matter. What happened?"

Mayflower got up tactfully and moved to another table. As soon as she did, Nimble took her spot.

"Well, I was told I got sick. I can't really remember much of it, other than just before and just afterward."

"And what do you remember?"

"Not much. The night before that I spent with the Ashkaari going over a few things. Then it's a blur of half-memories of being sick and cared for."

"I hear that ended, huh?"

"What, the research? ... Yeah."

"I guess you aren't the genius they thought you were. Oh well, not everyone can have the magic touch."

Boom. Something inside me shook. My ears began to ring and the sound became deafening. Nimble was speaking, but I could hardly hear him.

"What is it, Whistler?"

Again, a tremor ran through me. That name, it sounds wrong. Why does it sound wrong in my ears?

"Whistler?"

There it is again. Why doesn't it sound like me? He's staring, concerned.

_Ease his mind._

I focused back on Nimble. "What? Oh, I just got distracted, that's all."

"What by? Are you okay? Should I call for an Arigena?"

_No!_

"N-no. That's not necessary. I was just thinking about…"

_Pick something. Anything. _

"-about animal husbandry. My instructor Mayflower and I were discussing it. I'm struggling to understand the concepts and something you said reminded me of it."

"How does anything I said relate to that?!"

"The magic touch, it seems I'm able to soothe the animals by petting them. I just think that's interesting, don't you?"

He just stared, then laughed. "Your definition of interesting and mine are two separate things, Whistler!"

_Act normal. Get him talking and he'll forget._

Without question, I followed my own thoughts. "Well what's interesting for you? Probably infiltrating and pretending to be a double-agent or something."

"Actually, yes. That's exactly what I find interesting."

"Why?"

And so he told me, forgetting all about me. I listened and laughed at all the right moments.

_Good, you're doing fine._

Then I remembered. The voices, they weren't mine. Possession. This was a demon talking to me, telling me what to do, and he was getting stronger. It must be stopped! I need to tell someone. I need to be leashed. I'm a dangerous thing!

_No, stop! It's not what you think. Stay calm. Don't overreact. See, Nimble's starting to notice something's off again. Stay calm and take a deep breath. _

"Is everything alright, Whistler?"

No, it's not, There's a demon inside me!

_Stop it, or he'll inform the Ben-Hassrath._

My lips moved. "Yes, everything's fine. Guess I'm just getting more and more easily distracted."

"Are you sure?"

No!

_Yes._

"Positive. Stop worrying Nimble before you turn into an old woman!"

"That'd be the day!"

I looked all around. Where was an adult? They would spot the signs. Why did Mayflower have to leave? She could have saved me. I'm losing hold on myself! I've got to get help! Why is everyone acting like everything's okay? It's not! My body continued to respond to something else. It ate as I tore at the wall for control, but never managed it. Dinner was done, Nimble had left, and I was helping with the clean-up, making chit-chat with others.

Demon, get out! Where are the Arvaarad? I need-

_Stop it now, or I will push you back! I am not a demon, I'm you, and you'll get us killed if you go running to the nearest person talking about possessions._

My grip on surroundings slipped a notch, like I was seeing everything through a foggy window. People passed by and things were said, but I felt apart from it all. I was just the passenger inside this body. Then everything faded to black and I resurfaced in surrounds that were in constant shift. I was alone, but an unseen voice still spoke.

_There, now we can talk._

The echoed through my head, but I was in full control again.

"Help! Someone come quick! I feel a demon inside me!"

The voice inside chuckled.

_Yell all you want. We're in a dream._

"So you are a demon?! I knew it. They take possession of mages when they're closest to the fade."

Even if this were a dream, I was going speak out loud, yell, scream, anything I could to fight this monster.

"So it's true then, I'm a mage?"

_Yes, and I am no Demon, Whistler. I am you. _

"You are not. I am a member of the Qun. You come from beyond the veil."

_And where did you learn such talk from, the veil. That term isn't part of Qunlat. Where did you get it from?_

I stopped, unsure.

"… You must have planted it in my head. Your goal is to confuse and disorient me so that you can take control."

Again, it chuckled.

_No. You learned that word from before your time with the Qun. Your father told you about the Fade and the veil that separates our world from the next. Don't you remember him? You almost slipped up and mentioned your life to Scribe when she asked. Remember?_

Demon or not, it was right, I had almost used that word, father.

"T-that means nothing. I'm Qun now. Who I was before that doesn't matter. Stop it! Come out here and face me."

_But how can I? I'm you._

"We are not the same. I am Whistler."

_That is who you are now. Who you were, and who I am, is Lucas. Doesn't that stir anything inside you?_

The scenery bubbled and boiled around me, bringing up half-remembered places and people. A small boy sits with an older man, the man making lights pop into existence as the boy cheers and claps.

_Finally beginning to see the truth, huh?_

It shifts suddenly and shadowy figures move in around the two as they're swallowed up in darkness.

"No, no, no! Stop it! Stop. I'm Whistler. It's who I am now. I am a part of the Qun. The past doesn't matter, it doesn't!"

_It does, Lucas, or Whistler, whoever we are. And you must face the facts that you're a mage living in a place that would take even that part of your identity from you. If they find out, you won't even be Whistler anymore. You'll only be Saarebas. A thing. A dangerous thing._

I put my hands over my head and screamed. There was no one there to hear it but myself and Lucas.


	7. Chapter 7

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 7: **

_Done sulking yet?_

It was the voice inside my head, Lucas, talking again. He'd been with me for months now, sneaking into my head and dreams. I'd been taking out my feelings on the field with a pick and hoe. I was miles ahead of everyone else and still had energy and rage to burn.

_I said are you done sulking yet?_

My only response was to bring my pick down hard on a stone that was in my path it shattered into tiny pieces, much the same way I wish I could have done with that demon, Lucas.

_You know I can hear that, right? And stop referring to me as "that demon"._

That first night had been awful. When I woke my cheeks were wet with tears. I'd gotten up to tell anyone about what was wrong with me, but every time I tried, my abilities to move and act were taken from me. I'd fought so hard in those first few days that for too long he was the one controlling me until my resolve wore down. After that, he allowed me movement and speech again, but any time I showed signs of trying to speak or otherwise communicate that I was a Saarebas he stepped forward and I helpless. Since then, I'd been doing my best to ignore him. There was still hope that someone would notice and do what they could to remove this other being from me. More and more he was speaking to me, whoever he or it was, always pointing out the folly of remaining with the Qun.

_You can't hide your gift forever, you remember their saying, right "As does a drowning man know the sea, so does a mage know magic " If we continue like this you'll soon drown._

"Not if I stop whistling for the rest of my life." I said through clamped teeth to an empty field.

_See, you do realize I'm here after all. Now stop pouting. I can help._

I did my best to ignore him. On and on it went as I worked my way up the line. That'd been one victory I'd been able to deny him, any time he tried to run away, not do his duty to the Qun, or abandon my way of life I was able to take control. It wasn't much, but at least I had that to show for my battle. When I finished my line I started helping the others.

Mayflower came over with a glass of water. "Whistler, You're making remarkable progress. Why not take a break and rest for a while?"

"No thank you. I have energy that can be better used towards the betterment of the Qun."

_And a hatred towards yourself for what you are._

"Are you okay? I haven't you whistling in months. Isn't that the whole point of your nickname?"

"When you're preparing a field for planting there's little breath left."

_You sound like you almost believe it. Bravo! That was one of your best lies you've told yet and I didn't even need to help you with it._

Her smile was warm as she handed me the glass. "Please, sit. Enjoy a break and let your fellow Athlok catch up."

I took it and smiled back, draining it quickly to appease her.

"Want another?"

"No thank you, Mayflower. I'll sit for a time, then start again."

She patted me on the shoulder, then walked away. I sat in the freshly turned soil, letting the breeze cool me. Automatically, my lips made to whistle and I only just managed to stop myself in time.

_Good catch. Last thing we need's another miracle plant. That'd get the Ashkaari breathing down our neck again._

"Her name was Scribe, and she was just trying-" but I bit off the rest.

_Careful. You keep talking to yourself that way, and they'll send you to be healed. How long do you think it will take them before they spot what's wrong with you? Even a misdiagnosis could be _dangerous to us.

I gritted my teeth and spoke without moving my lips, "Then stop talking to me so much."

And just like that, I felt the voice in my head, Lucas, retreated back a step.

_Okay, for now…_

Demon.

_I heard that!_

I continued my day, more or less uninterrupted by any thoughts other than my own. When dinner came, I sat alone. I'd been doing what I could to distance myself from Nimble and the others, per the urging of Lucas. It'd been easy so far as he'd been out in the field, getting advanced training as a Ben-Hasarrath, but tonight they'd returned. When he saw me Nimble made a B-line toward my table.

"Whistler, it's been a while!"

"Yes, it has."

He cocked his head at an angle. "A little too long, is everything alright?"

_Watch yourself._

"Oh, just exhausted after a long day in the field. The life of an Athlok can't always be about planting and harvesting. Sometimes it involves manual labor."

"Then it's a good thing you aren't in the Ben-Hassrath. For the 'Heart of the Many' we sure to do a lot of labor ourselves. The instructor had us running courses today while reciting Qun law. If you want a long day, try that!"

I laughed. It was good talking to Nimble, Ben-Hassrath or not, possible possession or not.

"What's the matter, can't keep up? And here I thought your nickname was Nimble. What do they call you now, Big Horn?"

He reached up to touch them. They were coming in fast. "They itch like a son of a bitch! I need some horn balm for them. Speaking of nicknames not fitting anymore, when was the last time I heard you whistling?"

Both Lucas and I moved into mental attention, but I was still the one speaking.

"I don't sound as good anymore as I use to before puberty. You're behind the times, Nimble, or are you still thinking that teacher needs to instill the values of the Qun in us?"

"You've got me there. How many years has it been now since we were given our roles?"

I shrugged. "Does it matter? We have the rest of our lives now to live with them."

"Yeah? And how's yours treating you?"

"Better than yours."

"Not all of us can be living it up in the fields, drinking while they work."

"It's water I'm drinking, and no picnic either."

He pounded the table with his fists and laughed heartily. "Whistler, I have missed you. Speaking of drinking, want to grab a glass of ale?"

"It may have been a few years since we've been in class, but aren't we still a little young for that? Besides, the Qun preaches against excess."

"I'm not saying we need to get drunk, just that a glass right now would do us good."

I thought about it.

_Don't do it. The last thing you need is to loosen your tongue._

"Okay, but one glass only."

_You fool! What ARE you doing?_

I ignored it and took a glass with him. The stuff was bitter, strong, and had a familiar taste as it went down.

"I think I've had this before. The Ashkaari gave me a glass to settle my nerves."

"An Ashkaari prescribed you ale for your nerves? That's all it takes to get more, nerves?"

"If you call a near panic attack nerves, then sure, big guy."

"And what do you have to panic about?"

A lot, actually.

_Yes, and you're only compounding your troubles by drinking._

I sidestepped the question my tipping the last of the ale down my throat, more out of anger and frustration towards the presence in my head than out of actual desire for it. It was hard to get past the warmth and after-burn. Nimble was all smiles as he put his empty glass down.

"I say lets have another round, don't you?"

This time, both Lucas and I were in agreement.

"No way. I can already feel my head swimming."

"That's a good thing. It'll make a man out of you."

"Gee, and here I thought I was already one. Maybe I should talk to a Tamassran about a new role and gender assignment."

"Keep up that behavior and I'll drag you there myself."

"Perfect, I can be your first practical training assignment on re-education."

His smile veered off friendly and into some unknown territory. "You want me to, buddy. I can see it in your eyes."

_Whistler! You are dancing too close to the fire! Wake up and pay attention or I'll start taking charge more and more like I did before?_

Now I was angry, not at Nimble, but the presence inside me.

"Are all demons this bad?"

… But I hadn't said that in my head, I'd said it out loud.

Nimble put his drink down and swallowed. "What?"

_Fool! Stupid, stupid fool!_

I felt Lucas come forward as the mental wall turned. He spoke through my lips, the voice coming out was casual and relaxed. "I'm talking about you, Nimble. You're a demon if ever there were one, coaxing me into bad behaviors and making comments like that!" I felt my lips curling into an identical smile to his, then I was back.

_There! And if I hadn't intervened as I had we'd both be marching towards the blacksmith to be fitted for a mask and shackles! Are you happy?_

I wasn't, but Nimble was, and for his sake I tried to enjoy the rest of our dinner banter.

_He likes you, and you like him. Or was it the Ashkaari, Scribe that you had the hots for. Guess you have a thing for horns, huh?_

I ignored his comment and just tried to enjoy myself. Nimble threw his arm around my shoulder.

"Don't ever change, Whistler. I like you just the way you are."

Funny, that's exactly what I want to do more than anything else right now: change.


	8. Chapter 8

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 8: **

"This is the last of the generalized lessons. After today, we'll ask many of you to specialize in one particular specialty as an Athlok."

I watched attentively as Mayflower laid out the last of the information that she had to give us. All too soon, evening came and it was over. I'd learned all I could about my role in the Qun.

"Athloks, I would like to thank each of you personally for all of your hard work and attentiveness over the last few years. While I'll continue to be part of your life and your roles to some degree or another, this is where many of us will part."

She bowed to us, and we returned it. As I did so my chest and throat tightened and a stinging behind my eyes told me how close I was to crying.

_Really, she means that much to you? Didn't we establish the fact that you prefer horns?_

I ignored the voice and focused on my own thoughts. Before I knew it we were walking back towards the others for Dinner.

"Whistler?"

I turned to see Mayflower. "Yes?"

"Do you have time to talk?"

"Of course. What can I do for you?"

"I've been speaking to the Arigena Triumvirate about you. We feel that you've shown remarkable skills and a willingness to learn. Because of this, they would like to meet with you about giving you an elevated role. How do you feel about this?"

It took a second for the words to sink in.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. You show great merit, and we feel our faith in your skills are well-placed. I ask you again, I ask how you feel about this? Would you be willing to meet with them? By no means are you required to. If you would rather not, simply say so and I will let them know."

"Of course I'll meet with them. When and where?"

"Tonight. I'll be in attendance. If you would like, we can go together after dinner."

"Okay. I'll meet up with you then."

Her smile was radiant. "I expect great things from you, Whistler."

"I won't let you down, Mayflower."

"Until then, Shanedan."

_What did she say? _

I spoke it aloud, "I'll hear you." It was a show of respect.

_Well she certainly has taken a liking to you, huh? Pity she can't trade in those ears of hers for something else._

I ignored him and headed back to eat with Nimble and share the exciting news. He shoveled food in as listened.

"Really? Whistler, that's great! I can't believe you've already been tapped to move up the line! Congratulations! A celebration is in order."

"I haven't been promoted yet."

"But you will. I have no doubts about that. You were born to do great things for the Qun, there's not a doubt in my mind."

"So for this proposed celebration, let me guess, ale?"

His laugh was loud and booming. "Is there any better way to celebrate than with alcohol?"

"I can't drink too much. I'm meeting with them later tonight."

"So soon? What'd you do, cause a whole garden to miraculously bloom this time?"

"Nope, just plain hard work this time."

"Still, for them to be pushing so quickly means they must want you desperately."

I signed. "One can always hope, but I think it has more to do with the fact that we've just been taught everything we needed to know for our position. Guess they're ready to pick and choose."

"It's still impressive! I have a long way to go yet, but they're talking about letting me work out in the field soon."

"That's just as big of a deal! See, we both have something to be proud of."

"Then what are we sitting here for? Less talking, more drinking!"

_Don't do it. You're only inviting trouble! _

"Sure."

_I don't even know why I bother with you. You obviously want to be caught._

"That's the spirit Whistler. Time to cut loose."

His arm went around my shoulder and he drew me closer.

_Ah, now it makes sense. You want to impress him. I knew I was right about the horn thing. Whistler, this can only end in disaster! Can't you see that?!_

I fired back.

So what? If it ends in disaster, so what? At least I'll be near someone who cares. Can't you see that I'm lonely and scared! I have no one but a voice inside my head who's always calling me a fool and urging me to leave everything I know behind to run off into the woods. I couldn't tell anyone about what I am even if I wanted to, you won't let me. Is it any wonder that I'm hurting and feel the need to be close to someone, regardless of how fleeting it is?

The voice had no answer, but I wasn't done.

I can't use magic, I can't open up to about myself, I can't get close to anyone. Why not let me throw myself into the river and let me end it if I can't even be close with a friend to celebrate something that I worked so hard for! Me! I worked hard! ... What? Nothing to say to that Lucas, or demon, or am I simply going insane!

Still, there was no response.

While all of this went on in my own head I'd been tipping back ales without reserve.

"Easy there, Whistler. I'm all for a good time, but you've got places to be tonight."

My voice was beyond slurred and my tongue refused to form the words before they came tumbling out.

"What'd ya think'll do if I don' show up t'nite?"

He pulled the drink from my hand and replaced it with a small load of bread.

"Nothing. But I do think you would be doing a disservice to the Qun with an act of such rudeness, Whistler. Let's get you sobered up for your meeting, how about that? They're be other nights for a celebration."

"But what 'bout us?"

"What about it?"

"Weren't you saying how desper'ly you wanted me?"

His chuckle was warm. "I was talking about the Arigena, but it sounds like someone's having feelings towards an old friend, huh?"

"Don' play coy, Mimble, you know you wan me ta rub horn bom' on you."

"And here all it took for you to loosen up was a few stiff drinks. If this had been any other night I'd, well... actually I'm not sure what I'd have done. Nice to know how you really feel though Whistler. I'll file that away in my Ben-Hassrath training.

I can't even remember what I said after that.

"Come on, eat up. You need to be sober enough for your meeting tonight. How would it look if you threw up all over the Arigena Triumvirate? I'd feel responsible."

I thought about what to say to that for a while, but the best I came up with was "... Yeah."

"Come on, buddy. Eat up and keep drinking water. It'll help it to work it's way out of your system."

I turned and hurled all the ale up and onto the floor.

"Or you could do that too. I suppose its another way to get it out of your system."

I tried to speak but only managed a repeat performance. Nimble sighed and began cleaning it up. Through all this, I hadn't heard a peep from inside me.

"Wheres... Lucas?"

He looked up from the floor, dirty towel in hand. "Who?"

"Lucas, where's he...?"

"Oh boy, you're more drunk than I realized. My fault, Sorry little guy. Keep eating and drinking. Don't worry if it comes up again. It might even be for the best."

I did as he asked and began nibbling at a bread roll as I tried my best to search for him in my own head, but everything was muddled. Maybe he'd been right. Maybe this had been a mistake. I sure wished I could find him. Instead, I focused on the bread in my hands as I tried to hold it down. Oh boy, my meeting tonight was going to be a lot harder than I'd thought it was going to be.

I sighed and took yet another small bite, pacing myself.


	9. Chapter 9

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 9:**

"Athlok Whistler, are you well?"

"Y-yes Arigena Triumvirate. Please forgive me. I unnecessarily over-indulged in ale. I will be fine."

"Such honesty? I appreciate the truth, but question your judgement."

I was sitting on the floor below a small assembly. Mostly, I was feeling better, but their eyes staring down towards me made me fear I might make a fool of myself. Worse, Lucas had not returned. What did it say about me that while I was being interviewed for a potential elevation in the Qun that I was worrying about a disembodied voice that was potentially a demon. I'd have to think about the implications of that one when I had a second.

"I apologize, Arigena Triumvirate. My mistake reflects poorly on me."

She leaned back, and waited. "Yes, but I am pleased that you chose not to make excuses or lie about your actions. That must be taken into consideration as well. At ease, Athlok."

I tried my best to be at ease. On the raised dais was the Arigena Triumvirate, Mayflower, the Ashkaari, Scribe, my teacher from when I was younger, and someone else that had not been introduced to me. The weight of it all threatened to come crashing down on me.

The Arigena Triumvirate began again. "Athlok Whistler, did your instructor inform you why you are here?"

"Yes, I was told that I was being considered for a new role in the Qun."

"Correct. We would first like to ask how you feel about this?"

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. "My I be permitted to ask which position you are considering for me?"

"You may, but I would prefer that, for now, you set aside any questions you may have. There will be time for that later if we decide to move forward with the process."

My stomach fluttered then clamped down hard. More than anything, I wished for the voice of reason, Lucas, to return. I needed his guidance more than anything else.

"Yes, Arigena Triumvirate. I understand. I feel pleased that my hard work has come to your attention and would be honored if you decide I am ready for it."

She nodded. The Arigena Triumvirate was always female. "Thank you." She turned to Mayflower. "Athlok, would you please tell me about the work history of Whistler?"

"Certainly. I feel that he has shown great promise and aptitude for his position. He has proved proficiency at any and all tasks assigned to him. Moreover, there is a desire for continued growth and development. Many a time he has sat with me to go over and discuss theories that he had difficulty understanding."

Everyone spoke so formally to each other. It was odd to hear Mayflower speak in this fashion, but she was talking to a Triumvirate. She might be just as nervous as I am.

"So in your opinion, he shows abilities beyond his post."

"Yes, he does."

"Would it not be hard to replace such a competent individual? Would we be losing an asset with his change in role?"

"I do not believe that to be the case. While he does well in everything he does, I feel that he would better be suited to a role with more responsibility. Given his drive, I believe he would be just as invaluable in is new role as he is now."

The Triumvirate turned to Scribe. "Ashkaari, several years ago now you had the opportunity to interact with the Athlok. What was the reasoning and what did you learn?"

"I was assigned to seek the reason for a recent and abnormal growth of one crop in particular. When I spoke to the Athlok in charge, Mayflower, she told me one of her new students had planted it. I spent the next few days investigating to see what the cause was and if the steps could be duplicated."

"And what were your findings?"

She flipped through a few of her pages. "It was decided that the plant was a fluke of nature. No others grown by the Athlok Whistler showed similar signs of rapid growth. Attempts to grow similar crops from its seeds failed."

"I see. I also understand that you too felt the Athlok showed skills beyond that of the others, so much so that you inquired about a transfer for him."

I sat there and did my best not to react. That'd been news to me.

"Yes, Arigena Triumvirate, that is correct. Just as Athlok Mayflower said, the boy showed remarkable skills and an interest in furthering his own knowledge base."

"If you were interested, why didn't you pursue it any further?"

I saw Scribes gaze shift to me, then away. "He became ill during my research. After several tests and diagnosis were ran it was decided that he was not suffering from any illness. I had thought it was anxiety-induced and that my presence made him uneasy. After speaking to the healer she too shared my views on the matter, though was unable to furnish sufficient proof one way or the other. I removed my request after learning that as I thought it might inadvertently impact his development."

"And yet you too agree that he should receive a new role, why? Wouldn't the stain of a change only lead to a similar episode?"

"No, Triumvirate. I disagree. The boy was only just past twelve and new to his role. I felt a change of roles was unwarranted at that time. He is now beyond sixteen and I believe him to be ready. He has shown no further signs of increased stress."

The Triumvirate nodded. "Good, Ben-Hassrath. You taught him. Did he show signs of anxiety and stress from an early age?"

My teacher from when I was a child seemed at ease. "No, Arigena Triumvirate, not past his initial settling into the Qun, but that is common enough. I've seen cases like this before, children just receiving their roles sometimes experience this. It happens."

"Good. I am glad to hear it. After hearing what you have had to say, I feel confident in moving forward with this process." She motioned toward the unintroduced man at the table. "Tamassran, you may proceed with your interview."

That was unusual. Tamassran were exclusively female, meaning he was an Aqun-Athlok, one who is born as one gender, but lives as another. She must have shown great merit indeed.

"Athlok Whistler, we can conduct this interview here or in private, which would you prefer?"

Damn you, Lucas, where are you? I could sure use your help. Okay, think. What's the best way to play this? When in doubt, emulate those around you. Be polite and formal.

"Whatever is easiest and most convenient for you, Tamassran."

She nodded. "Then we will conduct it here. Please keep your responses as brief as you are able to. Please tell me about your thoughts toward the Qun?"

"The Qun governs our lives and gives everyone a role they can excel at. Here, we are all part of the hole."

"How would you deal with the changes brought on by being introduced to new people and roles?"

"I'm uncertain how to answer that. All I can say is that I would do my best to make sure that it was as easy a process for everyone involved as it could be."

"If required, do you have any objections to relocate to a different settlement?"

I paused, but not for long. "I will do whatever is best for the Qun."

"Finally, if required to do so, would you accept a new role that requires you to become an Aqun-Athlok?"

It was then that I faltered and had a misstep. "I-I um, well is that what you are asking of me?"

"Please Athlok, restrict yourself to answering the question. Anything else can wait until afterward."

What do I say? Lucas, I need help, why won't you come back? Demon, spirit, or just an embodiment of me, I need you, please...


	10. Chapter 10

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 10:**

"Well, Athlok, what is your response?"

The Tamassran who was living as an Aqun-Athlok stood waiting on the dais with all the others, and all of them were waiting. What should I say? Think, breath, stay calm. You can do this on your own. If Lucas left then all the better for you. It means no more possession. She's only asking a hypothetical question and said you could ask your own questions later. Be polite.

"My apologies Tamassran, I am still a little nervous, though I assure you it will not affect me in the future. If it is asked of me by the Qun I will do whatever is required of me."

There. I'd done it.

"Thank you, Athlok Whistler. I have no other questions at this time." And with that, she was seated and the Arigena Triumvirate stood again.

"As the Tamassran said, we thank you for your time. Fazha thrin." She saw my look of bewilderment and smiled. "You may leave us. Is you are needed again, you will be sent for."

I gave them my best smile and left the tent. As soon as I'd done so, the smile dropped from me, only to be replaced with a frown. Outside and under a nearby tree sat Nimble. When he saw me exit he called out and motioned me over.

"What are you still doing up? I'd have thought you'd be in bed by now. Don't you have training tomorrow?"

"Yes, but I never shirk a responsibility. It was me that got you drunk, remember? Or don't you."

My cheeks flushed. "Yeah, I remember."

His smile was a little too knowing for my taste. Yes, I remembered the fool of myself I'd made all too well.

"Well, don't keep me in suspense. How'd it go?"

"Nerve-wracking. The hangover didn't help either. It was like I was the target, and they were the Ashaad's, notching arrows."

"That bad, huh?"

"... No, I'm just being dramatic. It went okay. They asked a bunch of questions and I answered, then they sent me away, so they could talk."

"So they didn't say if you were getting the new role or not?"

"Nope."

He patted the dirt beside him. "Come, have a seat."

I did so, then sat silently, careful not to lean up against him. I'd already been far too forward with him for one night.

"What's the matter, afraid you'll fall into my arms like before?"

"Why don't I just go ahead and throw up on you right now and complete the night."

"You sure know how to charm the men, don't you?"

We continued our back and forth banter for some time more and I managed to relax. The tent flap opened and the group exited.

"Is that them?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't that our teacher from when we were younger?"

"Yep. She was there, my instructor was there, the Ashkaari I'd met years ago was there, and a Tamassran priestess was there as well."

"Wow, and all that for little old Whistler."

"Nothing but the best."

"What do you think happens now?"

"Don't know, bed I guess."

His eyes found mine. "Is that a come-on?"

"No, its me telling you where I'm going. After vomiting and standing in front of such exalted company I'm exhausted. I need some rest."

His smile held mischief and promise. "So you don't want company?"

It felt weird not having Lucas in my head screaming at me, but even in my current state I knew better.

"No, not tonight Nimble."

He got up and tapped me lightly on the forehead where I would have had horns if I'd been a Vashoth. "That implies I'll have a chance some other night. Besides, I'm pretty sure you offered to rub horn balm on me. Well, I have three horns but it's not the ones on my head I'm concerned with right now."

I laughed. "I was drunk! I'm pretty sure I called you Mimble as well."

"That you did, but a promise is a promise."

"You'd hold a drunk friend to a promise?"

"Those are the best kind. They have the added benefit of emotional blackmail."

"You're the worst!"

"You love it."

I don't know what made me think of it, but suddenly I felt a need to tell him about the questions they'd asked.

"Did I tell you they'd asked me how I felt about becoming Aqun-Athlok?"

"What?"

"Yeah. It wasn't like they'd told me I had to become one, but they kind of hinted at it. The Tamassran was one so it wasn't like I could really say no."

"So you said yes?"

"I think I said I'd do what was asked of me for the good of the Qun."

"Sounds vague..."

"It was."

We sat there in silence for a time.

"How come you never whistle anymore?"

"I told you, my voice changed."

He turned and made a face. "Yeah, that might have worked if you'd been called Singer, but you weren't. You're Whistler, and I haven't heard you whistle since we were kids."

I went to take a breath to say something, but he held up his hand.

"And don't bother telling me a lie, even before I was Ben-Hassrath I knew how to spot your lies. Just before you tell one you look up and to the right and purse your lips. Did you know you do that?"

I laughed. "Well now I do."

"Seriously though, why'd you stop."

Still, there was no answer from inside. Maybe he was gone for good after that last shouting match. Okay, stick as close to the truth as possible.

"It didn't make me happy anymore."

"Why?"

"It's hard to explain Nimble. I just didn't enjoy it anymore."

"When the Ben-Hassrath change behavior like this they call it the Asala-taar, soul sickness. It usually comes from battle, but people sometimes happens outside of it as well. We're trained to spot that kind of behavior."

"And you're saying I have it?"

"I'm saying it would explain the change in you."

This was getting to be dangerous territory. Possession or not, if we continued down this road it very well might lead to my discovery as a mage.

"Why can't it be that I just lost interest?"

"It can, but that's another sign of Asala-taar. Come on, I won't say anything, but show me I'm wrong. Whistle a little for me. No one's around to hear but me."

My chest wall was being hammered at from within.

"Okay, but just for a little while.

He smiled and I looked down at the ground, trying to focus. The dirt around the tree was free of any vegetation. I let my fingers make little patterns in it then began. They were small and quick melodies at first, until I warmed up a little. After that, I began on some of my favorites. Nimble closed his eyes and listened along as we both got carried away. I don't know how long it went on for, but then I looked down again at my hands, small stocks of grass and clover had appeared under my hands. I looked up quickly to see that his eyes were still closed. As I continued to whistle, I clawed at the ground, tearing up as much of it as I could then patted the dirt back into place. I laced my fingers together and rested them in my lap and let the notes fade into the night air. Soon after, he opened his eyes.

"Thank you, Whistler. That was beautiful."

I said nothing, but just sat there. I was still a Saarebas. It didn't matter if I used my magic or not and one day I wouldn't be able to hide it anymore. So why didn't I just tell Nimble right now and get it over with? There was no Lucas inside my head to stop me. What was stopping me now?


	11. Chapter 11

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 11:**

While Mayflower spoke, I tilled the field. It gave me something else to focus on. The sun was high above us and hot. She was pushing her hair behind her long ears to help keep it and the sweat out of her face.

"You do me great credit, Whistler. Though they questioned your excess before the meeting, it's been decided that you show all of the right attributes for a new role... I know this may be impolite, but may I ask what had driven you towards indulging before an important meeting?"

I brought my hoe down and cleaved the soil. "I guess I was nervous and wanted to calm my nerves."

"Hmm... I've always thought you were a little too serious for your own good. How old are you?"

"Just past 16."

Her smile was distant and a little sad. "Yes, well many of us have been in that situation before, young and prone to making mistakes. It's best you made that kind of mess-up now rather than later."

There was a large rock in my path that I worked at extracting. "Mayflower, Ma'am, may I ask what the Arigena Triumvirate has in mind for me?"

"Given you'll be accepting your new role soon, I don't see why not."

She paused and I continued my work. I had told the assembly that I would do whatever they'd thought best. I guess that counts as accepting my new role.

Mayflower spoke again, "You'll be raised to the position of Tamassran."

The blade faltered on the way to the ground.

"Such a high post. I am not worthy, Mayflower."

I felt her unseen hand rest on my shoulder. "Whistler, lets take a break for a bit and talk."

We moved away from the other Athloks as they toiled away. Soon, I would no longer be one of them, or even male anymore. I sat beside her feeling numb and hollow inside.

"Why do you feel you aren't worthy?"

"There are others I'm sure that show more remarkable skills than me. Really, the best that you can say is that I'm a dedicated and hard worker, but most of my work has been physical, not mental."

"True, you've grown stronger since becoming an Athlok, but you show gifts beyond this post. Any time I asked a question or posed a hypothetical scenario to the class, you were the first to answer. This hasn't gone unnoticed."

"It would mean becoming an Aqun-Athlok. That's extremely rare?"

"Does this bother you?"

From the back of my mind, I felt the stirrings of something. Lucas? There was no response. I turned back to Mayflower. How could I tell her that I wasn't sure what to think, and that in-and-of itself was a problem. The Qunari don't question their place in the whole, they accept it. This, combined with everything else, only further illustrated that I didn't fit in with the rest. This was more than needing re-education. The presence in my head was still there but not saying anything.

"Does what bother me?"

"Your re-assignment and new role, does it bother you?"

"No, Ma'am. I will do what's best for the Qun."

She gave me a long look.

"Take the rest of the day off, Whistler. We'll have to learn to get by without your help soon anyway. Take some time so you can become more comfortable with your new identity."

I nodded, got up, and walked off. Without knowing why, I picked a certain direction until I'd come to a place I hadn't been in years. I tapped on the frame of the door.

"Come in."

I walked in to see a horned Ashkaari with her back to me as she scribbled on parchment.

"Scribe?"

The scribbling stopped.

"Whistler! Have you been told yet?"

I nodded.

"Congratulations! Even when you were still a child, I knew you'd rise high."

I was surprised when she came running over to give me a hug. I let out a laugh and pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Did you mean what you said in there about wanting me to become an Ashkaari?"

"Absolutely. I just worried what that might have done to you so soon after being given your first role. I should have asked again, but maybe not. A Tamassran! It'll mean learning Qunlat and your new role, but wow."

"Is it really that impressive?"

"Yes. You do us all great pride."

Why does everyone keep saying that? If they knew that I was a Saarebas they wouldn't say that, they wouldn't say anything to me for fear of possession. Again, the presence stood out in my mind, saying nothing, but observing everything.

"Thank you, Scribe. I will do my best to live up to your expectations."

"They aren't just my expectations, but that of the entire Qun. I know that you will succeed."

I said nothing. She cocked her head and looked closely at me.

"Don't fear." She recited a long string of Qunlat. "Shok ebasit hissra. Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun. Maraas shokra. Anaan esaam Qun."

Then she leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, the first I'd ever been given.

"What does that mean?"

"The kiss or the saying?"

"Both, I guess."

"The Qunlat was to put your mind at ease. It means struggle is an illusion. The tide rises, the tide falls, but the sea is changeless. There is nothing to struggle against. Victory is in the Qun. The kiss, well... that's a little more complicated."

I smiled. "Oh yeah?"

"Yep. But don't overthink it too much Whistler."

"No fair, you took all the fun and mystery out of it now."

She turned her head so that she could stare at me from the corner of her eye. "There are still a few mysteries left." Her eyes drifted down to my clothes and I felt my cheeks begin to heat. Her laughter only made it worse.

"I forget how young you are."

"And how old are you?"

"Not much more than you. 19."

I did the math in my head.

"That means when we met you were only 15 and had already mastered Qunlat. It should be me telling you about the pride of the Qun!"

"Don't exaggerate. I love reading and memorization, but that's where my stills end. I can recite what I read and put facts down on paper, but its all just observation with very little actual learning done."

"Still, I find it impressive."

"Just as I find you impressive."

There was something in the air between us, some sort of haze that was making it hard for me to pay attention to anything but her. Our bodies seemed too close. When I took a step back, things seemed to come back into focus. I looked away as my body warmed.

"I'd, um, better be going. I don't want to keep you from your work for too long."

"No problem. Come see me anytime you want to talk. I'll be here. I suspect we'll be doing quite a bit of talking."

She closed the distance between us. Unbidden, my hand went out to stroke her horns as her eyelids fell. I continued this but had no way to make the passage of time. Everything around us moved at the pace of a snail. The presence that had been so silent finally spoke again.

_Yes, she likes this now, but how will things change when you become, what's the term, __Aqun-Athlok?_

I stopped caressing her and stepped back. My departure was abrupt. If she said anything to me, I didn't hear it.

_And while you're at it, why not tell her about what caused the crops to grow?_

While I would have done much and more to have him back a few hours ago, his sudden return only to jeer angered me. It'd been like a slap across the face, serving to remind me that I was lying to my people. I couldn't even claim that he'd stopped me this time. I could have turned myself in to the Arvaarad, but I hadn't. I was no pride to the Qun, I was just a dangerous thing.


	12. Chapter 12

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 12:**

"Tomorrow's the big day for you huh?"

Nimble and I were sitting outside in the shade, talking. Mayflower had excused me from all future duties until my new role assignment. I wish she hadn't. Working would have helped to keep me occupied. Thankfully, I wasn't alone. Nimble had the afternoon off while his group waited for their leader to return from speaking to the triumvirate assembly.

"Yeah."

"You don't sound too pleased about it? I'd have thought you'd be excited. Weren't you saying how you were afraid you'd learn everything about your role too soon and not be able to grow anymore?"

"Yeah."

"Well...?"

"Well what?"

"What's wrong Whistler, you seem down. I've never seen you like this before?"

I was down. Last night in my dreams Lucas and I had gotten into another shouting match.

_Sure, turn the bag over and dump it for them why don't you; but you know what, you'll never be one of them!_

There's still honor in living a life where I try my best and do what's right for the Qun.

_You're lying to yourself again. According to the Qun, what's best for us is to be leashed._

I'm no threat. I can control it.

_Sure, yeah..._

And what's your solution? You'd have me leave. I'm not running away.

_There's still time for that, Whistler, before they take too much of what makes you who you are. Run. We can make it._

No!

_Fine, then I'll-_

No you won't! I've learned to control you Lucas. You can't take control anymore unless I let you. So long as I remain focused throughout the day, you can't even talk to me, except for in a dream.

"Whistler, I said what's wrong?"

I snapped back to the present.

"Guess I'm just nervous."

"You'll do fine. Just imagine it, you'll have so much more to learn with tons of other responsibilities. You'll be working towards the top."

My voice was heavy. "Yeah."

"So what's the problem?"

"Nothing, I guess."

"Cheer up, buddy. To be given such a prestigious position in the Qun is an honor. So what if it means a change from Athlok to an Aqun-Athlok Tamassran. You're still you."

"Yeah."

He must have noticed how despondent I'd become.

"Whistler, nothing's really changes with this. They can throw as many flowing robes on you as they want, you'll still have your Defransdim's swinging around down there. Stop worrying. And if it's about the other thing, well put your mind at rest."

His grin held more than I could understand.

"What other thing?"

"Guy or gal, my offer still stands."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you, Whistler. Weren't you the one talking getting into bed with me? I know you were drunk, but still. I'm just saying, regardless of what you call yourself, an Aqun-Athlok Tamassran, when the lights go out and the clothes come off you'll be whatever I call you or tell you to be."

I took a breath and stopped. Despite the sadness, confusion, and depression I'd been feeling, I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe.

Nimble took a step back to look at me. ""W-What?"

He had to wait awhile as I got myself back under control.

"You, Nimble. You made me laugh, that's all. And as far as that goes, you might have to get in line, big guy."

His voice became quarrelsome, "Why?"

"Just because..."

"Has someone been making a play for you? Just wait until I get my hands around their necks."

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, it does. Come on. Out with it."

"Well you know her. She's an Ashkaari."

He took a second. "You mean that mousy Vashoth that you worked with when we were kids?

"That's the one."

"What does she have that I don't? My rack's far more impressive than hers. Feel!"

He grabbed my hand and placed it on his sharpened horns and I ran my finger down the length of it. The gesture brought the recent memory with Scribe into sharp relief... and our kiss. I wasn't about to tell him that. Instead, as soon as he removed his hand, I let go of his horns.

"I'll wring her pretty little neck."

"At ease, Karasaad."

"I'm Ben-Hassrath, not a soldier."

"I know, I was joking. You have nothing to be worried about."

"Why's that?"

"Nosey, aren't you, Spy-Man."

"Just answer the question."

"Yes, Ben-Hassrath. None have had the pleasure of my company yet."

He crossed his arms, raised an eyebrow and smiled, pulling me into a big hug."

"Good! Tell her if she tries to get there before me they'll have to give her a new nickname, like No-thumbs or Broken hands, something like that."

"You can tell her yourself if you want."

"Don't worry, I will. If I weren't worried about my commander coming back any minute, I'd carry you into the nearest house and have done with it."

"Such a romantic. Be still my beating heart."

He continued his smile. "You like it. I don't hear you telling me to stop."

"It would only make you try harder."

His laughter rang between us like a bell. There would come a day, probably in the not-to-distant future that it would come to pass, if not with him than someone else, preferably with horns.

_Yeah, so long as it's before your powers are noticed. But go ahead, enjoy your thoughts while you can, Dangerous Thing._

The conversation held less interest after that.

* * *

The new robes felt strange on me, exposing more flesh than I was used to. It was clear they were made to support the body of a woman, but that no longer mattered. Today was my first day living as an Aqun-Athlok. The one small comfort was that at least I could still be referred to as an Athlok, even if it didn't mean the same thing. I tugged the robes back into place. Before me, stood the same Tamassran from the assembly. She looked much more natural in her robes, even though we were both not meant for the role. Perhaps compose comes with time.

"So, Tamassran Whistler, are you ready to begin your formal training?"

It was odd to hear my new title combined with my nickname.

"Yes, I am, Ma'am."

"You may call me Tamassran Red/Green."

Unusual nickname. I had to ask.

"May I know how you received your nickname?"

"I was told that I'm color-blind and can't see those two colors. It's not that I can't see them, but I can't tell the two apart. It caused some issues when I was a child and I'd seen one of the other children with a nose blood. I'd asked why that little girl bled green." She stopped to chuckle. "That poor girl. They thought she was Imesaar-bas. The teacher called in the Arvaarad to make sure, but she was no more magical than I am. It took them a while to discover what was wrong with me."

I sat there in an uncomfortable silence. At least that made one of us in this room who wasn't a mage. How long would it take them to spot me?

"Has this helped to put you at ease, Tamassran Whistler?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Do you have any other questions for me? They can be personal if you would like. I don't mind."

"Well, you know what I was doing before my change in roles. Was your role always to be a Tamassran?"

"No, for a time I was part of the Karataam. Things changed, and I was moved to a different role briefly, then to this one."

"Thank you, Tamassran Red/Green. I have no other questions. Please, proceed."

"Very well. We will proceed with your first lesson. I'll give you a wide overview of what we do. Stop me if I move too fast. One of the primary objectives of the Tamassran is to control the Qunari selective breeding program by deciding who mates, and if so - with whom. Please note that this does not include procreation, which is something separate; I'm talking about intercourse for the purpose of producing offspring. We control this process. This is true for Qunari of all races, including humans, dwarves, and elves. Another important thing is that Tamassrans don't cross-breed races with other races."

I raised my hand and interrupted. "Why?"

"Well that actually flows very nicely into the next section. Have you ever wondered why kids get both numbers and nicknames? It is because these "nicknames" and numbers are used for the record-keeping and storage of genealogical information that the Tamassrans use to keep track of recessive and dominant traits the individual may be carrying. There are important and need to be kept separate for the best tracking system, hence why we do not cross-breed. At some point in the future these traits might prove useful."

I nodded. "Okay, that makes sense. Go on."

"Another important role of ours is to raise all the children and give them their general education. This is sometimes done with the aid of the Ben-Hassrath as well. When the Qunari children reach the age of 12, we are responsible for working with others to evaluate them and officially assign their roles in the Qun."

Again, I nodded. I remembered much of that from when I was that age.

"In addition, we also look after those Qunari who are not mentally able, or are too physically impaired to function without assistance. Moving on to another part of what we do is to work closely with the Antaam. As such, we provide psychological counseling and rehabilitation to those overwhelmed by stress and mental fatigue, usually those active in the field. This can include granting sexual relief to Qunari in need."

I raised my hand again to interrupt. "Do we assign this, or are we the ones to grant the-um... sexual relief?"

"You need to become more comfortable talking about this Whistler. You're young, and as such I grant you leniency, but sexuality cannot be seen as bad, especially by the Tamassran. To answer your question it can go either way depending on the need of the individual and their preferences. It is a need like any other."

When I nodded this time, I felt like a wooden puppet being pulled by strings.

_That's because you are a puppet, Aqun-Athlok Tamassran Whistler._

Red/Green continued. "Finally, in dire and extreme cases, we will use the substance called qamek to "free those beyond redemption". This is for those that refuse their nature or will not allow themselves to be healed. These dissenters have persistently resisted re-education. Afterward, they are freed by becoming Viddath-bas, but can only perform hard labor. From there on, they require looking after in the same manner as the disabled. Does this all make sense?"

"Yes, Tamassran. It does."

_You lie, and the fact that you can hear me right now proves it. I can't wait to watch you try to grant sexual relief. Better practice on either Nimble or Scribe. Oh, and how does it feel to be responsible for permanently robbing people of their freedom? _

Shut up.

_I won't. _

I did my best, but with the way the robes hung off me, the subject matter, and my inner-turmoil, I was hardly taking it in. Everything I do is for the good of the Qunari...


	13. Chapter 13

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 13:**

The last eight solid months had been spent in the dedication towards learning Qunlat. During this time, I saw a lot of Scribe. In between lessons with Tamassran Red/Green we met and I practiced. Without her help, I'd be struggling, but I finally felt like I might have the grasp of it.

"Just remember," began Scribe. "It't not about understanding a few words here or there, you need to know the entirety of it. We do nothing unless we are fully dedicated to it. You are very nearly there, but I still hear flaws in the way you speak Tamassran Whistler."

"What can I do to correct it?"

"Keep at it. You're close. Just keep practicing. Your instructor must be pleased with you."

"She says my work has been adequate."

"That's high praise from a Tamassran, trust me."

"Thanks for all your help, Scribe."

"No problem. Us women have to stick together."

I shuffled about a little. It was getting easier, but I still wasn't use to being referred to as a woman. I'd let my hair grow out. My body hair, never a prolific grower in the first place, was easily kept in check. It was only the unusually large muscles in my arms and legs that were a tell-tale that I'd recently changed roles."

_Goodie, maybe you'll pass for a woman soon. Wonder what other people outside the Qun would say to that. You could go on stage with an act like yours: The Whistling/cross-dressing/magically inclined Qunari. Why not take up tap-dancing while you're at it and give em' more to talk about. Gather round and watch!_

My mental walls were back in place and Lucas was safely behind them again.

"Do you have any plans tonight?"

"No, why?"

"I was wondering if you were free to spend the evening with me."

Not only had Tamassran Red/Green been drilling Qunlat lessons into me, but we'd been working on the other skills required as well, one of which was granting sexual relief. So far I'd only learned about spotting the need for it. Males through off powerful hormones while women did the same, but with pheromones. I knew all about intercourse and what happened, but still had kept my bed empty. At this point, I was just shy of 18.

"Are you asking me to enter your bed tonight?"

"And if I were, how would you respond?"

"I would ask if you were in need."

"Spoken like a true Tamassran."

"I can't help what I am."

"Nice dodge by the way. You never answered."

"Because I lack clarity on the subject, Scribe. You're playing a hypothetical game."

"I prefer my answer to yours. Did I tell you Nimble stopped by again to talk to me."

"Oh boy, what was it this time?"

She shrugged. "The usual: had we done anything? Did you touch me? How many times had we kissed."

"And what'd you tell him?"

"Nothing. It gets his blood pumping."

"Any more blood pumping to his Defransdim they might explode. He's practically pawing at the ground now."

"Why not give the poor man the relief he so needs? I know you have to learn about that anyway."

"Why don't you? It could be a research project."

"Why don't all three of us try."

My voice cracked. "Scribe!"

"I'm just teasing. You sure are an easy mark. Since we were working on translations, tell me what this means: Taarsidath-an halsaam."

My face reddened. "You know damn well what it means, Scribe."

She waggled her finger at me. "You're the one that's so keen on learning the language. Tell me what I said."

"You said I will bring myself sexual pleasure later, while thinking about this with great respect. Happy?"

"I am, thank you Tamassran Whistler, you are an excellent student."

"Good, now both you and Nimble get off my back about this."

"I could make another comment, but am choosing not to."

"Nice to know I'm not the only one showing restraint."

* * *

"Okay, so we've covered almost all the essentials. Your skill with Qunlat has been perfected. Today we will go over qamek and its effects."

Both Lucas and I mentally straightened for this.

"What do you remember me telling you about it?"

"It is a substance used on those deemed beyond hope or those who are unwilling to be healed."

"Correct. Can you tell me what it is?

I thought over everything she told me. "No, I can't. We haven't discussed it."

"Were you able to find anything about it in your research?"

"No, Tamassran Red/Green. I haven't."

"Good. That's as it should be. The information I'm about to share with you cannot be written down nor can it be discussed with anyone who is not a Tamassran. Do you understand?"

"I do."

"Then pay close attention."

She took out a glowing orb. The light penetrated beyond my eyes into something deeper.

"This is qamek. Great caution must be used when holding and administering it to others."

I was listening with rapt attention, my eyes never leaving her hands.

"The orb both emits a light and substance that can be drawn out of it to complete the ritual. Before you will be allowed to hold it, you will take a course of antivenom that will make you immune to its effects. The subsistence is also highly poisonous and can kill. Our goal is not to kill, but to bring those with no inner peace what they need but refuse."

It pulsed with an unearthly light. Both Lucas and I wanted to hold it in our hands more than anything.

"Great discretion must be used when administering it. We want people to freely accept the way of the Qun."

I spoke my next words to the light. "Have you ever used it before?"

"Yes. For captured mages deemed too great a threat, we typically will administer it."

"Is there any cure?"

"If you have not been dosed before encountering it or have no immunity to the qamek, no. Once it has taken effect, the subjects lose everything about them and can only be used in menial labor."

And though I shook inside at what she described, it was hard to pay attention to anything but the light she held. When she returned it to her bag the world seemed a darker place without it.

"What was that?"

"No one really knows. There's a substance called lyrium that those not part of the Qun use. It's said to share similar properties. Either way, that is what the qamek is." She pulled out a bottle with a stopper in the top. "This is the first in the anti-venom. Over the course of the next weeks you will be required to take this. At the end, you too will be able to hold it."

She handed the bottle over and I drew the cork out. When I went to swallow it, she stopped me.

"Have you eaten?"

"Not since breakfast."

She handed me a large hunk of bread and cheese. "Then eat. To take this on an empty stomach could cause inadvertent effects similar to what the qamek produces. Remember that."

"I will."

I spent the next few minutes eating what she'd offered then tossed back the contents of the bottle. It burned more than boiled ale going down and I drew back from her and fell to the floor.

"You're especially effected by it. I'm sorry for the lack of warning. Are you okay?"

The furnace inside mellowed to a fire. "Y-yes. I..." But I had to stop and cough. "I just hadn't expected it to be so powerful."

"Let this serve as a lesson, Whistler. Qamek is never to be used lightly on others. Every opportunity must be afforded them before we resort to this. We have the Viddathlok as our first line of defense. They must be given a choice." She began to quote. "Existence is a choice. A self of suffering, brings only suffering to the world. It is a choice, and we can refuse it. Asit tal-eb."

"Yes, I understand Tamassran. I will not misuse the qamek."

And with every fiber of my being and the being of Lucas, I meant it. People must have a choice in the matter.


	14. Chapter 14

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 14:**

"Ready?"

I'd just eaten some food. Tamassran Red/Green stood in front of me. She held out what was the last dose of the antivenom of qamek that would allow me to be immune to its effects.

"Yes."

I took the bottle and didn't allow myself to hesitate before tossing it back. It's effects on me had become less and less pronounced with each dose. This one only felt like a weak alcohol as it went down, but I still felt every contour of my stomach. I handed the empty bottle back.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I hardly felt a thing."

"Good. We'll wait a few days, then I will teach you to handle it."

"Will I... have to use it on someone who refuses the way of the Qun."

"Possibly, but you are not to flinch from your duties. I will explain what will happen and how they will react today so that you are prepared for it."

I could already tell today was going to be a painful lesson, but I gave her my full attention. We sat down, both of us adjusting the ill-fitting robes. She still looked far more comfortable in hers than I'd felt in mine. I was only allowed to listen. To take notes or record information on the qamek was strictly forbidden. It started off with her giving me a refresher on what we'd already covered.

"When using the qamek itself and not one of the poison substances made from it you must press them directly against it or you must press the qamek directly against them. When it touches them, they will feel pain and pull away. You must be strong enough to hold them. I doubt this will be a problem for you, having worked in the fields."

She was right. Though it had been a long time since my days with Mayflower, my muscles remained, mostly due to my need for exercise. Nimble and I worked out together, me struggling to keep up and him making bawdy comments the whole time. I looked down to see my own muscled forearm.

"No, Tamassran, I don't think that will be an issue."

"Good. In difficult cases someone will always be assigned to assist you in the process, but remember, they are never to touch the prisoner or the qamek. We cannot risk it. Understood?"

"Yes, Tamassran."

She closed her eyes and nodded. "Their strength to fight will not last long, a matter of seconds, so you need not fear that. This was their choice Tamassran Whistler, never forget that. They had the ability to be part of the Qun, but chose not to be. Never feel sorry for them. This is the path they chose."

_Yes, they chose not to be slaves, so we force them into a mindless slavery. How touching that we value choices so much._

I ignored him and listened on.

"After that, they are your responsibility. You have made them Viddath-bas, a mindless drone. It is not your duty to provide direct care, but you must look after their best interests and well-being. No one in the Qun would dare mistreat a fellow member, but when they lose the will to make decisions, they sometimes work past their physical limits. We are never cruel. Tamassrans have a heavy burden to bear. We are to act reasonable, but firmly."

"Yes, Tamassran."

_Is that all you can say? Yes Tamassran, no Tamassran._

"Then we will move onto a different subject."

And so we did. That night when I went to dinner, my head was filled to nearly bursting. In the distance, I saw Mayflower. I waved to her, and she waved back but kept moving towards her destination. I sat alone for a while until Nimble came over.

"Every time I see you you're pulling long faces."

"Oh, nothing really. It was just a hard lesson that had to me learned today."

Nimble nodded. "I've had those before. Interrogations, messy business. Want to talk about it?"

"No, but thanks for asking."

"Any time buddy. Need to do something to distract yourself."

I smiled into my soup. "You never give up, do you?"

"Actually, I was talking about running some more drills. You're the one that made it dirty."

"Turning the tables on me, are you?"

"Possibly. Seems the forward approach didn't work, so I'm going with a different strategy."

"Oh yeah, and how's that working out for you?"

"Well, you're still sitting here, so not great. And speaking of not great..."

I turned to see where he was looking. Scribe was on her way over. I turned back to him.

"I'll never understand what you have against her. She's extremely nice."

"She's older."

"By three years."

His spoon clattered to the bottom of his soup bowl loudly. "She likes you."

"And, so do you. What's your point?"

"Do I have to have one?"

By this time she'd come over and was sitting beside me. "Whistler. Nimble."

He crossed his arms. "Ashkaari."

"No need to be so formal."

The good-natured griping continued.

_I'm convinced that those two actually like each other._

You think?

_I do. Maybe not in the way you like them, but there's something there. I don't get what your aversion is. Aren't you Mr. "The Qun is for me", yet you refuse to do something that they find so natural and baseline. _

I haven't refused anything.

_Sure. You forget that I can see what you're thinking. You can't hide from me Whistler. _

Their conversation continued on while mine took place in my head. Funnily enough, both seemed to be friendlier than the words spoken implied. We were winding up the meal and cleaning up after ourselves.

"So, still up for running drills Whistler?"

Scribe pretended to be shocked by putting her hand to her mouth. "Is that what they're calling it now a'days? I'm surprised."

My face reddened. "Shut up Scribe. He's talking about actually running and exercising that doesn't involve bed sheets."

Her smile tried for coy, but feel short. "I can see I touched on a nerve. Didn't realize how intimate things have become between you two."

Nimble reached back and slapped me on the behind, chuckling. "Not yet that far, but I'm close. I can feel it."

Her eyes lowered below his waist. "But the real question is has Whistler felt it yet?"

My snort was lost in their laughter. "You're both impossible."

It was a nice moment and hit helped to distract me from reality, until Lucas reminded me of it.

_So this is nice and all, but shouldn't you be mentally preparing yourself to scramble someones brain or something?_

You just love to sour a moment, don't you?

_Whatever you say, Tamassran. _

Even the workout with Nimble failed to dispel my feelings. I tried my best but he saw through it.

"You have that look again Whistler. Tell me what's on your mind."

As I stood there, panting and sweating a strange feeling came over me. I felt the guilt and loneliness sitting in my stomach like a lead ball. And all of a sudden, an overpowering urge to pour everything out that I'd been holding in for years came over me. No, it wasn't an urge, it was a need. Lucas fluttered around my skull, shrilling at me.

_Are you insane?! Do you want to become a Saarebas, leashed for the rest of your life? _

I want to stop living a lie.

Seeing that it was futile, and I was set on my path, he stopped trying to argue and grappled for control inside me.

That won't work. Lucas, it's time...

_You're killing us both!_

No, I'm saving us both.

He continued to scrabble against my mental wall, but I was in control.

I took a deep breath and began. "A lot actually."

"I'm listening."

War waged inside me, but I continued to speak.


	15. Chapter 15

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 15:**

"So, tell me about it."

Here goes nothing.

_No! Here goes everything!_

"I've been feeling off for a long time now, since we were given roles at the age of 12."

"What do you mean?"

I plopped onto the ground. If I was going to ruin everything, I mys well be comfortable. Nimble took his cue from me.

"Well, I just felt out of place. I was happy when I had a simple job, but ever since they had me help with that crop that matured overnight, I haven't felt right. I think it's the attention."

"Whistler, that doesn't make sense. You're saying that you don't like how much attention you've garnered, but you had a choice every step of the way."

Choices.

"Yes, I did. But I acted out of what was good for the Qun, so my choices all revolved around bettering the whole."

He gave me a calculated look. "You say you've been feeling off. What do you mean when you say that?"

"Like I don't belong, and guilty."

"How bad is it?"

I couldn't meet his gaze. "Bad. Real bad."

"Why haven't you said anything? It's been years now, why have you kept silent for so long?"

"Because I don't want to hurt anyone. I've been given a prestigious position. To admit fault would mean that they had been wrong about me. It would mean that they too were wrong. It would hurt everyone."

"So what?"

"I don't want to let anyone down. I don't want to hurt them. I thought I could shoulder all this responsibility and change, but I'm buckling under the weight. I can't go on like this."

He closed the gap between us with remarkable speed. His arms wrapped around me as he held me against his chest, his hand cradling the back of my head.

He ran his finger through my hair as he spoke softly. "Oh Whistler, I'm sorry. I should have seen the signs. I'm trained to spot them, but I hadn't. Maybe I didn't want to see the signs. All those jokes I made about your re-education, I take them back. But there's still time to fix this. There's no shame in needing help, and you've been pushing yourself too hard. There's a Viddathlok nearby. We'll go there now. Please, let me help you old 's not too late."

_He cares about you, and more than just for your body._

I know, but it needs to come out.

"Nimble, I think it might be."

"What do you mean? You can still be redeemed."

Now came the part I dreaded most. so far, I was fixable, with what he knew so far; but, there was no cure for what came next.

_So don't tell him. We can play down your conversation as you being overworked or a product of anxiety. It doesn't have to mean the end of our freedom._

I never had freedom, as you so often love to point out.

_And now you won't have any. Ever again._

I took the plunge. "A while back you said that my name didn't fit anymore."

"Yes, and now I understand why you weren't whistling. It should have been my first clue, but I'd ignored it. We could have fixed this years ago."

"No you couldn't. Nothing can fix this."

"Let's just try Whistler, please. You are a great asset to the Qun and the person I am closest to. I don't want to lose you over this."

His words were meant to be kind, but they felt like a blade to my gut. It hurt so much to hear him speak this way. He'd been my friend since childhood, and we'd developed feelings towards each other. He said that he didn't want to lose me, but after I'd told him he wouldn't be able to run to the Arvaarad fast enough. Until that time came, I wanted to feel him closer. I buried my face into the crook of his shoulder, taking in his scent for what would most likely be the last time. This stirred him, so I stopped. I'd gone too far to head down that road.

_Much as you want to._

His sweat still clung to his skin, but I was beyond caring. If only this could be made to last forever. If only the nagging in the back of my head would quiet down, my head and not the presence of Lucas, to do what I'd set out to do. Emotionally, I pulled up my drawbridge and pulled back from him. He didn't want to let me go, but I forced myself out of his grasp. He wouldn't want to hold me in a matter of seconds.

I stood over him, looking down as I let my words fly like a bolt from a crossbow, my heart giving an uncomfortable bang. "It's too late. Nimble, I'm a mage."

He just sat there, blinking up at me, my words not yet hitting their mark. He spoke the words as though they were an unfamiliar Qunlat word. "A mage?"

"Yes."

"You? You're a mage?"

"Yes."

It was sinking in, I could see it behind his eyes. "But... how?"

I keeled on the ground, letting my palm touch a bare bit of dirt and began to whistle. It had been so long that the act felt strangely liberating. My notes were clear and rang out in the woods. Under me, small sprouts and stocks grew as the surrounding grass began to grow and take on a wondrous green sheen. I continued, my notes becoming fast and wild. The grass continued to grow larger and larger until it could no longer support the weight of itself. It slumped over and began to wither quickly. I'd never seen it do this, and the sight startled me enough that the music died in my mouth. Nimble only watched, saying nothing. I stood again, and he reacted by jerking back from me, his eyes shone with terror. I tried for a deep breath, but it came in more like a warble.

"So, yes. I'm a Saarebas."

Still, he said nothing to me. I took a few steps back, and he shakily got to his feet. "S-so now what?"

The next bit was already in my head. I thought that Lucas would have tried to stop me, but he seemed resigned to it.

_... Maybe it's for the best._

"Please Nimble, I don't want to go to the Arvaarad."

"But I must report it Whistler. I'm sorry, but I must."

"You misunderstand, Nimble. I don't want to be labeled as a Saarebas, living the rest of my life masked and chained." I took another deep breath, willing my voice not to tremble. My eyes met his for a brief second. "I want you to end it here. Kill me."

His muscles locked up as he held his breath, his eyes growing wide. "Whistler, don't ask me to do this!"

"You're the only person I could ask. Please, for my life to be nothing but endless solitude, or to be weaponized, I can't stand it. I'm a danger, I cannot be allowed to be around the others."

His panic shown clearly on his face and in his voice. "I get that, I do, but... to ask that of me- to do that to you."

"Isn't this part of what you do?"

"Y-yes. It is, but never to someone I'd been close to. Whistler, I can't!"

"Yes you can. Take out your blade. One sharp stab in my chest will end it. It doesn't even have to be a blade. A sharp twist of the neck or your hands around my throat. It'd be a mercy."

"Why do you ask such things?"

"Because I trust you with this. Please, don't make me wait any longer, before my resolve crumbles. Quickly."

"No, I… I can't."

_And he won't, Whistler. You need to fix this fast. I don't want to be leashed any more than you do._

"Please, Whistler. This is my final request, as Kadan, as a close friend."

"Don't ask this of me, I beg you."

_It's not working. Let me._

He gave me a flash of what he'd say. Cruel, and untrue, but I agreed. It'd be our last chance to end this. I turned over full control and waited on the other side of the mental wall as Lucas spoke through my lips.

"Nimble, I'm hearing voices, that means possession by a demon. I'm fighting it, but I can't last much longer. I need your help."

Every muscle in his body locked up. His hand came free and inched towards his blade, then stopped. His face reddened and his eyes shimmered in the light as tears slid down his cheeks. He dipped his horned head to me, then turned away.

"I'm sorry, Whistler. I just can't do it. I'll get you help!"

And he ran, faster than I'd ever seen him. Pointless to chase after him.

_We failed._

Yes.

_We'll either be killed by the Arvaarad or leashed._

I know.

_No point putting it off. Let's go Whistler._

Thanks, Lucas. You're a good friend.

_I'm you, you're a good friend to yourself… but thanks._

We walked slowly back. Not eager to face the shame of others. I'd been hoping not to see the look of disappointment in all their faces.

_Don't worry. It won't last long._

I guess not.

Back we went, trudging through the woods. My name spoken by a familiar voice broke the silence. It's Nimble! He's come back! My chest boiled with a strange mixture of hope and hear. I hoped he was alone and was coming back to do what I'd asked. I feared he wasn't. But it was only one voice.

_It's not Nimble, this is someone else._

The voice called out again. "Whistler, Nimble? Are you done training in the woods or whatever you two are doing?"

It was Scribe. Her voice held a teasing note.

No! Not her! She mustn't find us! Too late.

"There you are, I've been-"

"Get away Scribe! Don't come any closer!"

"Not decent yet? I can come back when you two have-"

I cut in again, panic in every word. "I said get back. Run! Anywhere but here. I'm dangerous! You can't be seen with me."

"Why?"

"I'm Saarebas!"

"What?!"

A group of people were drawing near. I heard their footsteps as they ran. I'd taken too long. No, no, no. This was all wrong.

"Whistler, I-"

Both Lucas and I screamed the next line. "Run, you fool!"

If they found us together they'd… And they were upon us, two masked Arvaarad. Nimble wasn't with them. She turned at their approach, her back to me now.

"What going-"

It was all too fast with no time for action. The sounds of metal being pulled from sheaths cut through the air. A blade came down on her head and logged in her horn, severing it in the process, a bad swing. The other appeared through her back like some kind of cruel illusion. Her sound of pain was like a knife to my own chest. I stumbled forward to protect her, but fell to the ground. I looked up just in time to see the other blade being yanked from her rack, then it came down between them, bisecting her skull. She made no sounds or movements after that. When removed, Scribe fell lifelessly to the ground. Their attention turned to me. All that was left was to deal with "The Dangerous Thing".


	16. Chapter 16

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 16:**

Our eyes met and they raised their swords. I couldn't move a muscle, too transfixed at what I'd just seen.

_Take the advice you gave her, run!_

But...

_No time! We can think about that later. Turn and flee. _

I did as I was told, and ran. There were no call from behind, only the sound of them in pursuit. I ran, not knowing where I was headed. Lucas seemed to have ideas, and I readily surrendered myself to him.

If you are a demon, take over. I don't have it in me anymore.

_Quiet! And we've been through this before, I'm not a demon, I'm you!_

Our only advantage was in weight. I wore only a thin robe while they were laden with armor and visors that restricted their view. If not for that, they'd have caught me when I tripped. As it was, I had time to pick myself back up and continue the run, or at least Lucas did.

Where are we headed?

_You'll see. _

Okay. I trust you.

On we ran. My lungs burned and my legs ached, but there was no going back from here. As soon as I heard it, I knew where we were headed. The sound of the water was faint at first, but steadily grew as we approached. I'd once said that we should just throw ourselves into the stream and get it over with. Now it seems I'd be taking the dip after-all.

_We most likely won't survive it, but we'll at least escape the __Arvaarad__. _

That's good enough for me. I was beyond caring at this point. In the distance the bridge came into sight. I took an inventory of myself: I had just enough oomph to make it. I used up the last bit of remaining strength I had to goose myself along. The idea must have crossed their minds as well, because for the first time, they spoke.

Their tone were harsh and unpleasant. "Stop, possessed Saarebas. In the name of Qun, allow us to purge you of the demon inside!"

I had no breath to spare. The bridge was 20 meters away. Something flew over my right shoulder and stuck to the rail of the bridge, a dagger. I heard the sound of another being drawn. 10 meters now. I feinted left, then veered right. The blade missed. Below my feet was the wooden structure. For my best hope, I needed to jump from the middle. Just a little way farther. The air stuck in my chest as I hit the midpoint and began hoisting myself over the rail. I spared one look back to see they were nearly on me. Below the rivers currents ran strong. I swung both legs over, my robes catching on the splintered rail. I'd just let go when a vise-like grip clamped over my left shoulder. When I looked up, a slitted mask stared back at me. In his other arm he held the sword he'd used to slay Scribe.

This time, it was me that had control. I let out a piercing whistle and a discharge of energy emanated from me. His grip slackened and I wrenched free of both his hold and the railing, flipping midair. I had just enough time before hitting the water to think one thought: A bad fall. I hit the water with my shoulder and went under, losing track of which way was up or down. It didn't take long for the veil of darkness to settle over me.

* * *

Cold. If this was death, it's embrace was icy cold. There was a pressure in my chest, unpleasant and suffocating, that made me want to clear my throat. Instead, I retched up a geyser of cold fluid as I rolled onto my side.

"So, finally coughed? I thought you might not."

The voice was filled with gravel and sounded as far as the moon from me. I occupied myself with doing a thorough job of purging the fluids from by body. Despite the chill, I felt a clammy sweat break out over my forehead.

"Done yet?"

I was, and opened my eyes. The world around me was bright, but I took it in. I was laying on my side on the mud-covered bank of the river. Other than that, I had no idea where I was or how much time had elapsed.

"Well say something, why don't you?"

I turned to the man. He wore soiled leathers and bent over a fire and pot. His face was covered with an ill-kept beard and a sword hung at his side.

_Watch it Whistler, this man's most likely a mercenary or bandit._

The terms were unfamiliar, but both sounded warning bells in my head.

For the first time, I spoke. "Where is this?"

He made a dismissive sound, his voice like sandpaper. "Does it matter?"

"Yes, it does."

"Well, while we're playing the 20 questions game, why are you dressed like a girl? You ain't."

I looked down at myself. The Tamassran robes were stained and torn. My defransdim could be clearly seen through a large tear in them. I rearranged the robes to cover myself.

_Caution. The outside world doesn't share Qunari views._

"What makes you think this is women's garb?"

"Oh, and I suppose men go around with their midriffs showing and their teats covered where you're from? Where are you from boy?"

How do I reply?

_Play stupid, but let him know you have powers._

Why?

_Look at the way his hand's edging off the spoon and towards his sword. Not good. Remember what Nimble told you. When telling a lie, stick as close to the truth as you can._

Nimble, his name hurt, but no time to think about that. I was still in danger.

"I feel into the water after being chased by armed men. It was either jump, or be cut down. I jumped. They didn't like my skill set?

"Oh yeah, and what skill sets that? Being able to wear a brazier?"

My eyes were drawn to his hand. It rested on his hilt.

_Now! Show, don't tell._

I touched the ground, whistled, and called the earth to action at random. Nearby tree roots pulled themselves loose and took up the position of raised claws.

"This one."

"A mage?!"

Instead of answering, I let out more notes as the roots flexed and pulled themselves even further from the earth.

"Makers pants! Stop it boy. Put em' back."

I wasn't sure how.

_Don't let him know that. We have the upper hand, for now. _

"Just as soon as you pass a bowl of whatever it is your serving up this way."

He let go of his sword and laughed. "Okay, lad. Just put them down."

I tried, but my whistle only made them grow vegetation. They were impressive, but still present.

He took a step back. "I said put em' away. I'll do you no harm if you do me none."

How do we control it?

_Stay calm, just try feeling it out. Go slow._

My whistle was low. At first, they grew and wiggled, but I soon found how to pull on the strings, and they began to retreat.

_Not all the way, let him know we're still a danger._

Why?

_Rescuer or not, this man's just as dangerous in his own way as the others. Get his name._

"Better?"

"It'll do."

He scooped some out some contents from the pot into the bowl and set it down some distance away from me. I thought about summoning a root top bring it closer.

_No, you lack the control and skill. The last thing we can do is show weakness. Pick it up. _

I did so, but kept a wary eye on him. "Thanks for this. What's your name?"

"Corm, and yours?"

_Not your own. Pick something else._

Lucas?

_I think not. _

I took a second to think. "How about you just call me Rebas."


	17. Chapter 17

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 17:**

Corm made a noise in the back of this throat. "That your name for real, Rebas?"

I finished the bowl of thin stew. "It'll do for one."

"And just what the Hell does that mean?"

_Careful, you're making him mad. He's not the kind of man you anger._

I smiled. "Nothing, just my little joke, that's all."

"A strange way of joking for a strange boy. Well come on, I've got some other lads waiting up the river for me. Way I see it, you owe me for fishing you out. Pay me back with some help."

"… What kind of help?"

"The kind that involves that fancy whistling magic of yours, light touch Rebas."

Should we?

_We've got no choice. If the __Arvaarad__ find us, they might be useful. But, we should be ready to cut and run at any point._

Agreed.

"Fine. Lead the way."

"An' does our exalted queen expect to go looking like that?"

Again, I looked down.

_He's right. _

"Got a spare set of clothes?"

"First you want food, now you want clothes, what next, a tiara to sit on your long hair?"

"If you don't intend to give me any, why bring it up?"

"Because you still haven't said why yer' dressed that way. We ain't going nowhere until you say."

"You've seen what I can do."

"Yeah, I have. Impressive that you can grow your own rose garden M'lady."

He's getting on my nerves.

_Mine too. Spin him a story. Here, like this._

Images and idea's came into my consciousness and I told him. "My family owned a small farm in a small village. One day, the Qunari came and killed all the men in town and took the rest of us as captives. All they'd say is we were going to become one of them. I didn't want to grow horns and become a monster, so one day, I managed to talk my way out of the cage, steal some clothes, and escape. They came looking for me, so I dove into the river. I figured it was the better alternative."

His face darkened throughout it. "You did all this on your own? You, a mere boy?"

"I've shown you that I have skills, haven't I?"

"You have, but I don't by it. What was your fathers name and the name of the village?"

Lucas came forward. "My father's name was Lucas. The village had a name, but dad always called it "That shit-hole." He said it so often I took to calling it that. He died in the raids..."

Corm squinted. "I still don't like the sound of it, so you get nothin' more from me. Come along in that, we'll see how useful you make yourself, then we can talk about proper clothes."

I had no choice. I followed him at a distance. The two of us had nothing more to say to each other, so we kept our own company as we walked away from the banks and into the heavily-wooded forest.

What do you think?

_It's trouble, but we're in no fit state to escape. Play along for now, but if trouble comes, start whistling._

The path took us over smooth soil and moss. It was a good thing too because I'd lost my shoes in the water. When I looked back, my footprints were clear and visible.

_And that fool didn't hide his campfire. If they come downstream however far we've traveled all they have to do is follow the trail._

Should we say something to Corm?

_To Corm? No, that'll only get us killed. We might have already said enough as it is. As far as I'm concerned, he'd do well to meet intimately with the pointed edge of their swords. _

You shouldn't say that about a friend.

_Whistler Wake up! He't not your friend. People don't love and respect their fellows around them like they do in the Qun. _

Then why did we ever leave? We should have stayed, or accepted our fate. We were willing to die if it'd been at the hands of Nimble.

He had no reply to this nor did he get a chance to say anything else. Corm broke in on our internal dialogue with this rough tones.

"What? Nothin' more to say? You've been awfully quiet back there. Thinking of calling the earth up to swallow me whole? Don't bother. I'm a lot harder to kill than I look."

"I can tell."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Just that you seem tough enough."

"This blades seen it's fair share of action, I'll grant you that. Come on. Keep up. We're nearly there."

And we were. Moments later, we walked into a camp. I spotted four other roughly dressed men."

"Fella's I'm back!" Yelled Corm.

They looked up, eyes falling on me.

"An' he brought back a pretty young lass. You ol' codger."

Another man stuck his head out of a tent to see.

"He's no lass, I've seen his bits." He raised his voice and pointed at the man who'd spoken. "An' don't you go mouthing off about it, makin' snide jokes. I pulled him from the river. Said he jumped in to escape the Kanari's.

I went to correct him, but Lucas stopped me.

_Don't. It makes no difference what he calls them. We don't want to draw attention anymore than we already have._

The other weasely-looking man spoke up. "Then why bring em? Should have let the water have em"

"I know fortune when I see it staring me in the face, and Andraste favors me well. He's a mage."

They made noises ranging anywhere between understanding, to scorn.

Tent man spoke up. "Only goes to show what a fool you are. Throw him back in the river, that's what I say, filthy things, and he's dressed like a girl." He reached for the blade and drew it out. "Better yet, let me show him the sharp end of my blade."

I crouched, ready to act. Corm saw and threw his hands up.

"Hang on now, Percy. We need em'. He's agreed to help. He owes me."

The man, Percy, spoke up again. "Can't trust a mage, that's what ma' always said."

Other men nodded and made loud grumbling noises. Corm hawked and spat. "That's for your ma'. I say we need em'. Now stop laying about and lets go. They won't wait."

I had too many questions I couldn't ask, but I didn't like where this was headed. Who was Andraste? Why were they camping in a forest? Who wouldn't wait? I was too smart by half to ask, but the need to know welled inside me. Instead, I stood silently as the men packed up, and loaded their things onto two aged mules. I heard the men talking all the same.

"Magic or no, if he try's any funny business, I'll be the one to end em'."

Corm heard and turned to him. "You do that an' I'll end you."

They lowered the volume, but their tones were still quarrelsome. Then we all walked away together. I stood close to Corm. At least he hadn't threatened to kill me and even claimed to need me. It made him the safest person to be near. Another man jeered over at me. His lips were cracked and some of his teeth blackened.

"I don't mind the back gate, boy. Stick near Ol' Boots and he'll see you right."

Again, Corm spoke up. "Leave off em'."

_Our De Facto hero's sure is vigilante. I'm surprised you aren't falling all over yourself to be near him._

No, you were right, he's a bandit. The sooner I get clear of them, the better.

_Wisdom at last, or is it just that he lacks horns?_

The unbidden image of Scribes head being cleaved came back, and I felt myself shudder with revulsion.

_... I'm sorry. We'll have time to process what happened later, but not now. Now, let's just focus on staying alive._

I couldn't agree more.


	18. Chapter 18

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 18:**

"So here's the plan," Began Corm, rolling out a hastily sketched map for us to look over. "We enter here," His finger rested on a point. "And continue down that-a-way."

"What, towards the guards?"

"Nah, that's what we got em' for." Said Corm, hooking a thumb in my direction. "He'll distract them."

"How, by liftin' up his skirts?" said the weasel, Percy. "I ain't seen em' do anything special. We only have his word he's magic." He turned to me. "Go on then, do somethin' impressive."

His pointing finger became a fist. "He ain't got to. I've seen em', and if I says he'll distract the guards, then he will. Rebas knows his stuff, an' he owes me. Now anymore interruptions and I'll start becoming real persuasive."

Corm cracked his knuckles menacingly. No one else spoke up. He laid out the plan as Lucas and I spoke.

_This is worse than I thought. He thinks we'll help kill people while they pillage the town. Whistler, you owe him nothing. As soon as this begins, get out. _

And let the town suffer?

_This sort of thing happens all the time. They have guards to handle this sort of thing._

It doesn't feel right.

"Rebas, you listening?"

I looked up at Corm and made a non-committal gesture. He continued on. That was close. Soon, he was rolling up the map and the group was breaking up. I followed along behind them as they crept through the darkness, using only the full moon as illumination. An owls hoot caused me to jump, much to the amusement of the others.

_Stay calm. It's almost over and we can sneak off._

I took a deep breath, and continued on. We stopped against a stone pillar.

"Okay, Percy will scout ahead. When he gives the all clear, Rebas and I will get into position."

I should have known he'd follow to make sure I kept up my side. It's fine, they're still opportunities left. We waited, not saying anything, only listening. I heard the owl and some other rustling sounds that didn't seem to concern the others. I felt how tightly my jaw was clamped shut and tried my best to relax. There was another rustle.

"Wut was that?" Asked Ol' Boots.

"An owl. We're fine."

"It weren't. I know an owl and that weren't it."

Corms voice was clipped. "Then go check."

"You go check. I ain't no fool. Or make pretty boy look, maybe use a little magic of is'."

He mulled that one over. "Yeah, use your powers to see what's over there."

_Don't panic. Look confident, do some magic-like things, and say the coast is clear. Fake it._

And so I did. I drew a circle in the dirt, made a line through it, then spit three times in it. I put my finger in the center and whistled like the owl. The grass grew and the wind picked up. I muttered nonsensical words under my breath for a few seconds, then brushed everything aside in what I hoped seemed a very practiced way.

"A fox. It's hunting."

Ol' Boots made a meaningful pass over his body with his hand. "Look at im', all smart and such in them magic ways. Ain't right somehow."

"You sure?" Asked Corm.

"Positive."

_Good job._

It worked, at any rate.

_With any luck, it's a guard, and they'll send up the warning. When they do, get as far from here as you can. _

Got it.

Percy came back. "Coasts clear. Anything amiss back here?"

"No, little Rebas here used that art an' saw a fox in the woods. We're clear."

"Did he now?"

Boots nodded vigorously. "He did. The wind blew an' the grass grew. I felt it, I did."

"Quiet!" Whispered Corm. "Lets move, now."

We moved in unison, me and the six of them, through the gate and behind a wooden building.

"Rebas, with me. Let's go."

What should we do?

_Follow. One man is easier to escape than six._

We moved through the darkness. Guards moved about randomly. One stopped to chat with the other while we snuck past.

"Get on the other side. When barn catches fire you and I will flank the guards, but not before they see the smoke. Got it?"

I nodded.

"Good, you'd better. Now wait there."

He and I crouched in the shadows, waiting for the fire to start. I hadn't been listening closely to the plans, so I wasn't sure how long we'd have to wait. A minute passed. Nothing. Five minutes passed. Still nothing. I watched as he shifted his weight from foot to foot.

"What's taking them so long?"

I didn't have a reply, so I said nothing. Another five minutes passed in near silence.

"Do that spell again, see where they are."

I was spared another session as a charlatan by a noise coming from the gates, but it wasn't the sound of flames. it was the sound of raised voices.

"Somethings wrong. Let's go."

The guards stuck to the light as we hung back, moving slowly. Steel on steel could be heard with an occasional cry of pain. Then he was running, as was I. Among the sounds were the unmistakable Qunari battle cry, Ashkost say hissra. Seek peace with your gods. Instead of following, I turned and fled, but too suddenly.

"Hey!"

Corm ran behind me. I was shoved from behind into the dirt. I turned to see him drawing his blade. Over his shoulder, I saw the guards running towards the two Arvaarad's. One had just impaled Percy through the chest.

"I shoulda' killed you back on the riverbanks. They're here for you! Let em' have your corpse, mage!" The last word was spoken as if it were a curse word.

As if the plan had succeeded after all, the sky filled with smoke and fire. The barn was ablaze. It helped me to see him draw back for a killing blow. I rolled right and started whistling, but the notes were erratic. Sprouts shot up all around me and the nearby wood stack began growing branches complete with leaves.

_Call the roots!_

I don't know how.

_Touch the ground and whistle long, clear notes. _

How?

Another blow came crashing down, this one nearly catching my thigh. The soiled robes hindered my movement, but there was no time to remedy it. I heard Ol' Boots voice ring out. "An' that, you big dev-ahhhhhh." His arm fell to the ground. It was soon met with his head, blood pouring from the wounds, shimmering in the light like some evil mirror. Corms blade swung wide trying to mane, but slipped the new growth I'd called.

_Now, Whistler!_

I touched the earth, made my lips relax, but couldn't release a note.

_Now!_

But I couldn't. Instead, I rolled again, and felt the near miss of his cold steel.

_But why?!_

I can't kill!

_He can!_

_"Die already, mage!"_

_The _Arvaarad were headed in our direction. In their wake they left dead bodies. I whistled again and more grass grew all around, but always behind me. I turned on my heels, keeping it up the whole time. As I'd hoped, I heard Corm fall to the ground behind. Seconds later, his short-lived cries of pain cut through the night and the sound of the roaring fire. I didn't look back, but kept going. Villagers fled from me as if I too had been armed. If they failed to run fast enough, they joined the others. Even in my panicked state, I saw that the dead outnumbered the living, three to one. The back entrance was ahead, its wooden posts shown in the light of the blaze behind me, and I had an idea.

Again, I ran from them, using every bit of energy I'd reclaimed since our last encounter to get there before they did. I grabbed the post, swinging around, and let out a loud clear blast of sound as nail-like protrusions shot out towards the other side, encountering the two masked men as they tried to hurry through.


	19. Chapter 19

_The stories tone has taken a slightly darker note and I will be expanding it to cover some important character's still part of the Qunari. Please let me know what works and does not work. I appreciate any and all feedback. Thanks. _

* * *

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 19:**

My timing couldn't have been better, but it was too good. The two Arvaarad had been shoulder to shoulder going through. The bulk of the first hadn't done anything to slow the momentum of the growth, and both had been skewered from top to bottom. Too good, but not mortal. The one on the right had dropped his sword as his futile efforts to pull himself from the gate only caused rapid blood loss. The other held onto his weapon and swung down with no real strength. Both made horrible choking sounds behind their masks.

I turned from them and retched, bringing up the meager stew that'd been offered to be by a man whose death I'd had a hand in. I made to go, but Lucas stopped me.

_We can't leave them like this! End their suffering._

I hadn't meant to do that, only to slow them down.

_It makes no difference what you meant. This is the outcome, and you need to take responsibility, Whistler._

What... do I do?

_End it._

I turned back, drew air deep into my lungs, all to conscious that they couldn't do the same, and touched the gate. I looked them in the face, before letting the notes and final spike fly. One is all it took. The metal in their helmets might well have been made of cheese for all the good it'd done them. And so their bodies slumped there, held up by the wooden lines running through them, like a perverse clothes line. Their forms were silhouetted by the town, now a blazing inferno, behind them. What had once been a small community was quickly becoming rubble and ash. Only one or two cries could be heard.

This had been partially, if not entirely, my fault. I'd brought ruin down on this innocent settlement. Is this what mages did? No wonder they were treated as dangerous things by my kind.

No, they were no longer my kind. I was now Tal-Vashoth. For lack of anything else to do, I stood there and watched the town as the flames consumed it. I made no motion to move, but the flames never made it to my side. A hard rainstorm quenched the flames. The whole time I stood there, wet, silent, and motionless.

* * *

Morning came and it found me in the same spot. My stained and torn robe hung off me, sodden with rain. Lucas had been trying to speak, to urge me to action, but none of it felt real. I'd disconnected so thoroughly that even he couldn't come forward. I'm not sure if it was the timber of a large burnt-out building collapsing that did it or if I was just ready to, but I snapped back into place, along with the world.

The two men I'd killed were still dead. Their lifeless faces shielded by their masks. The town had still been burnt to a crisp. I was still the dangerous thing that'd caused it. Too much. It was a sensory overload that I wasn't equipped to handle. A detached clinical part of me diagnosed the symptoms as Asala-taar, soul sickness. If Tamassran Red/Green had been here, she might have known what to do, but she had no cause to leave. She was not Tal-Vashoth.

At that point, I had enough sense to let my mental wall swing. It was Lucas who navigated me around to the other gate and back into the village. When I spoke to him, my voice was distant and strange.

What are we doing?

_Grim as it seems, we need to scavenge for supplies. We won't make it far without any. _

Does that matter?

He didn't answer, but moved us about the place. I recognized one of the bodies, it was a partially burned Percy, buried under some debris. Toward the center of town, Corm had been almost untouched, if you didn't count the damage inflicted by the Arvaarad.

What are we looking for?

_Anything. Food, clothes, items that have value. _

It's not right.

Again, he avoided answering. I felt the essence of who I was holding on by strings. If it hadn't been for Lucas, I would have snapped and fallen. Whatever he might be, I owed my continued survival to him and him alone, if that was worth anything at all.

I watched from what felt a great distance as he stripped an un-burnt man of his blood-stained clothes. He judged the size and decided it might fit us. Inside one of the structures that were still standing, he'd managed to find some bread, a few jars of preserved veggies, and a small leather bag. He tucked his supplies in it and began going over the bodies if the bandits. Before long, the bag held six daggers of varying quality, a bloodstained ring, and a cheap necklace. Lucas left the large weapons where they lie, too bulky and unwieldy to handle or take with us, as he made his final survey to see if he'd missed anything. Again, the sight was too much for me. I mentally retreated back further, unwilling to face it all. This angered Lucas.

_No. Look. See it. _

And I was back, all too aware of my surroundings. I tried to retreat again, but couldn't.

_See it. You must face what happened. We didn't mean for any of this to happen, but it did. Don't avoid it. See, and remember. _

I didn't want to, but did what was asked of me. Bodies littered the streets in this village of ghosts. If anyone had made it out, they'd long since fled. What had any of this been for? What had the men hoped to get from this place? Is this all there was to life outside the Qun? With one last look, I turned on my heels and walked out of the village, walking towards an unknown destination. I was alone, except for that other presence in my head called Lucas.

More than anything, I wished for the company of my friends. How had they reacted after hearing the news of my betrayal?

* * *

The unfamiliar Tamassran was speaking.

"You did the right thing, Ben-Hassrath Nimble. You could not have prevented him from his possession. Saarebas are dangerous things. One who is not leashed and watched only increases their risk. Do not dwell on it."

He took no action, but sat there, thinking. "I could have done as he asked, killed him. Tamassran, would that not have been for the best?"

"That is not your role. You did the right thing."

"Then why does it feel like I've failed?"

She sighed, scratching behind her horns. "Put it behind you, Ben-Hassrath. I've spoken to your commander. Your work to today has pleased him. You do us all great honor."

His lips only compressed in a straight line. This was not lost on her. She tapped her writing instrument against the table, weighing her options. "The two of you were close. It's only natural for you to feel this way. I'm suggesting sexual relief for you. It should help."

He nodded and was led to another room by the Tamassran.

* * *

"You mean Whistler?"

Mayflower rested her spade against a nearby tree.

The man nodded, his eyes on some sort of document. "Yes, Athlok. There's no doubt. We believe she'd been possessed and that the demon's controlling him. two Arvaarad are in pursuit. We hope to release him of it. The order of Vinek kathas has been given. It's only a matter of time now."

"And you're sure, sure that it was him, er... her?"

She was always forgetting that he'd accepted a role that required him to become Aqun-Athlok.

"The Tamassran Whistler? Yes, we have proof and a witness to her confession."

The large Ben-Hassrath closed his notebook and smiled.

"Thank you, Athlok Mayflower, for your help. By all counts, no action could have been take to avoid this. Please don't dwell on it any more than is necessary to process events."

"Yes, you're right."

The man left, and she picked back up her tool, throwing herself into her work to not think about Whistler.

* * *

The Arigena Triumvirate sat across from her. The tent was dim. She too felt a lack of light inside her.

"You had no warning or signals that this might have been happening, Tamassran Red/Green?"

"No, Arigena Triumvirate. The Saarebas had shown great skill and speed at learning Qunlat and was a promising Tamassran."

The other woman looked down at her notes. "I see that she'd been working with Ashkaari, Scribe, to polish her skills."

"Is that pertinent?"

"It might be, considering the two were found together."

She shouldn't, but did, say, "Is it true, was she cut down?"

There was no pause. "Yes. She was found in the company of a self-confessed possessed Saarebas. The rules are very clear about that. Rest assured, she was dispatched quickly and without great pain."

"Yes, Arigena Triumvirate. I understand."

"To return to a point, did the Saarebas never once vocalize hesitation towards a certain lesson or request?"

When put like that, there'd been a few things. She answered honestly. "The Saarebas shown some resistance towards granting sexual relief and the use of qamek."

The woman in front of her made another note. "I see, so not quite as skillful as she seemed. We shall do better next time. At a later date, we can talk about better screening practices. For now, I need you to complete the forms for both a Saarebas and Tal-Vashoth. Get them to me at your earliest convenience."

She bowed her head. "Yes, Arigena Triumvirate."


	20. Chapter 20

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 20:**

Off the path, I nibbled at the last of the preserved vegetables. It'd been almost five days since I'd witnessed the burning of the village. Lucas was doing his best to keep my spirits up.

_It might not be long now. All we have to do is stay on this road. It will eventually lead to something._

Yes, but who says it has to be something good?

_I can feel it. _

I continued to eat. He knew I wasn't nearly so optimistic. The lack of shoes was really taking its toll on me. The bottom of my feet were covered in calluses and broken blisters. I wasn't so much able to walk anymore; no, what I did was a fast limp. I'd been alternating my two pairs of clothing when it came time to wash. Thankfully, the path followed a small stream, and I was able to wash them and have a source of water. Try as I might, the blood would not wash out of the stolen outfit. My Tamassran robes were so stained that I decided to die them with mud and wash them so that they were at least uniformly brown.

Once, a passerby almost spotted me, but I grabbed up my bag and hid until they passed. Lucas urged me to try and speak to them, but I wasn't ready. My last run-in with people on the road ended with me being conscripted to a group of bandits.

_Well, that's the last of them. Let's keep our eyes open for edible plants and berries. That was the last of the provisions._

When I set the jar down and started to walk away, he mentally tapped me on the shoulder.

_Go back and get it. We can use it to hold water. What we carry with us is all we have. _

He was right. I went back and retrieved it, then continued slowly down the path. The day wore on without anything happening.

_Quiet, isn't it?_

As if to prove him wrong, the unmistakable sounds of travelers could be heard from behind me. Quick as a flash, I darted into the trees and waited. The person was on foot and alone. From this distance, it appeared to be a man of indeterminate age. On his back was a large pack. His head swiveled from side to side, scanning his surroundings.

_This one doesn't seem so bad. No sign of a weapon. We should go out and speak to him._

No, I'm not ready yet.

_And you might never be, but we need help, and we've seen worse people to ask. If things get bad... we can handle ourselves. _

The two dead Arvaarad flashed in my head. Yes, if handling meant committing murder, then yes, I could handle myself.

_Stop that, it was self defense. We can't be held accountable for every action we take when our life is at risk._

Can't we?

_Enough, he's drawing closer. _

And he was. His gaze continued to raking the surrounding trees. I pulled back further behind a tree, but brushed against some undergrowth. The sound was loud in the silence. His eyes snapped in my direction as he reached for a long walking stick strapped to his backpack.

"Who's there?"

His voice was level and commanding. I made a snap decision, peeking out around the tree, but keeping my palm pressed firmly against the trunk of in case of trouble.

"I am, and I mean you no harm stranger."

He was a tall man around 30, with a scraggly growth of hair on his face that was in need of a shave. Unlike me, his clothes appeared to be in good shape. I looked at his boots with envy. He held his staff in his hand as if it were a Valo-kas, a two-handed great sword. He squinted. "Are you hurt?"

I was wearing the bloody clothes I'd stolen off the dead man. "This is old blood."

"If you mean me no harm, come down onto the road so that I may see you better."

I had another internal debate, but saw nothing for it. To stay where I was could mean bloodshed. Besides, the man only carried a walking stick. I opened my hands to show that they were empty.

Between us, he still brandished the stick. "Who are you."

"Rebas, and you?"

He paused. "Duncan Ferrale. Since neither of us want trouble, let me pass by, and we can both be on our way."

_No, try to engage him. _

Why?

_Look at him. He's not holding a walking stick. That's a mages staff. _

I looked closer. It was indeed a Saartoh-bas. I made no movement. He raised the staff higher.

"Is this a challenge?"

"... Are you a mage, Duncan?"

His staff faltered. "Y-yes. I am. What of it? I suppose your next question will be am I an apostate?"

"A what?"

"An apostate, one who is not bound by the Circle."

"What's that?"

"Do you really not know?"

"No, I, um, I'm not from around here."

He lowered his staff slightly. "Rebas, correct?"

"Yes."

"If you are not from here, then where are you from?"

_Stick as close to the truth as possible. _

"I really don't know. I was running from men with weapons. Then chased me onto a bridge, and I jumped in. I'm not even sure where I am right now."

"And your parents, friends, family, traveling companions? Anyone else?"

"I never knew my parents, none of us did. It's just me."

"An orphan?"

"Can you really call a man an orphan?"

I had no way to track the days since I'd fled, but I had to either be 18 by now, or close enough for it not to matter.

The man scratched his stubble-covered chin. "No, I suppose not. Still, you seem more child-like than I'd expect for someone traveling the roads alone."

"I've seen my fair share of things. Let's leave it as that."

He nodded, and lowered the Saartoh-bas. "Very well. May I pass?"

"Yes." I hesitated, unsure how to ask. "May I- can I join you on the road?"

His grip tightened on his staff as he gave me a once over. "Are you a thief?"

_Remember, close to the truth, but not all of it._

"I did have to take some food, but only to eat. I'm not a thief."

"Then what are you?"

"A mage, I think."

"A mage? Where's your staff then?"

"I don't have one."

Duncan cocked his head at an angle. "Then how can you do magic without one."

"I don't need it."

"How?"

"Do you want to see?"

He looked back down at his Saartoh-bas. Both hands rested on it now. "Yes, but slowly, and take no actions against me, or I swear I'll retaliate."

I took a few steps back, rested both hands on the ground, and let out a medley of music. The notes reverberated through the woods as things grew around me. Afterwards, I stood up slowly.

"Incredible, I've never seen magic like it. But how are you doing it?"

"I don't really know. Do most mages need a Saartoh-bas?"

"A what?"

_Careful, we don't know how he feels towards the Qunari._

"Sorry, a staff."

"What did you call it?"

"A Saartoh-bas."

"What language are you speaking, Rebas?"

Should I tell him?

_It's a little late for that now. Tell him, but be ready._

"It's Qunari."

"You speak Qunlat?"

I smiled, thrilled that he knew the name for the language. "You know it?"

He returned my smile with a frown. "I know the Qunari, or at least of them. Is that where you're from? You said you never knew your parents, that's common among them."

"Yes. There are no families in the Qun."

"And that's where you're from? The Qunari?"

"Yes."

Now he was really and truly confused. "But if you're Qunari, how can you also be a mage. I understood they killed mages, or is that who you were running from?"

"It's hard to explain. They don't usually kill children of the Qun who develop magical powers. They become Saarebas, and are heavily guarded for life. They see magic as an illness with no cure. In their eyes, we're both sick."

"Then why did you escape?"

"It's a... long story."

A look came into his eyes and his face softened. "I see. You'd asked if you could travel with me. I have no objection to that, provided you take no actions against me and that we can continue to talk."

My smile returned. "Yes, of course, so long as I can ask you questions."

"That's fair, but we'll talk more later. These roads aren't always the safest. Bandits are about, and they're always looking for an easy mark."

"I know. I've seen them."

He looked over at me, but let it pass. "Well come on then. A ways further up is an outcropping of rocks. It makes for an easily defend-able campsite. We can talk more there."

I followed behind him.


	21. Chapter 21

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 21:**

It was clear this was the favored spot for all travelers looking to rest. A fire had already been laid, ready to be lit. He and I talked for quite some time that night. I asked him about all sorts of things that I'd either been curious about or things I;d overheard the bandits discussing, like The Maker and Andraste.

"You know nothing of them?"

"No, I don't. Are they a person you praise?"

"It's harder to explain than that."

But we talked about it, or at least tried to. The concepts were too foreign for me to understand. To worship one woman who sacrificed herself seemed nonsensical. My point of view was just as alien to Duncan.

"How can you all be part of the whole? Aren't you individuals? Don't you have your own wants and desires?"

"Yes. I wanted to continue to learn. My desires are... were... harder to vocalize."

He tried hard, but the smirk crept across the other mans face. "I was young once too. I'm pretty sure I know that that means."

"Do you?"

"Maybe, maybe not. But let's change the subject."

"Okay."

"So, I've seen how you can call nature to respond. Can you do anything else?"

"Sometimes the wind picks up as well."

"No lad, that's not what I mean. Have you ever called forth fire, cold, or lightning?"

"No. Can I?"

"If you'd been given a proper education in magic, yes. The circles teach it, but come at the cost of your freedom. Some know the arts well enough to explain them. I don't claim to be an expert, but I'll see if I can give you a wide overview." He smoothed the dirt beside us and began to draw diagrams and symbols. "As I said, the four elements a mage can primarily draw upon are fire, lightning, cold, and spirit. If I were a betting man, and I am, I'd say you're calling on spirit magic. It would explain your ability to cause things to grow. What I can't understand is your ability to have that much control without a staff. It makes no sense."

"None of this makes sense to me."

His arms crossed and he scowled in a good-natured way. "I'll bet. You're like a babe in a forest. Think of a staff as your connection through the veil and into the Fade. With the aid of it, we can do magic. I'm not saying you can't without it, but it's harder. Watching you cast and how you have to make contact with something, I'd say you're using whatever it is you touch the way other mages use their staffs. Your whistle, well you've got me there."

"So you can't cast like I do?"

"No. I kinda picked up my skills here and there from other apostates."

"You've used that phrase before, what does it mean?"

"Andraste above, I wondered when we'd get to this. So, here it goes. Not only does the Qunari fear mages, but so does most of the world. Because we have the potential to be taken over by a demon, people mistrust us. The Chantry decided that the best solution to this was to form Circles for both the protection of us and those without the art of magic. In these Circles Templar's ensure that no mages become possessed or try to escape. Allegedly, it's for our safety."

"Why say it like that? Doesn't it work that way?"

Duncan closed his eyes while he spoke. "No, it doesn't. The poor fools in the circles are oppressed and abused daily by their so-called protectors. I'm not saying all Templars are bad or hurt mages, but you'd be unwise to show your skills in front of them unless you wanted to be carted off to a circle, or slain for the sake of the Chantry."

"Were you in a circle?"

"Yes, and I got out, blood intact. I'll explain that another day. Now I live as a free man."

He brushed away his drawings and diagrams. Apparently the lesson was over. I sat and thought about what he'd said. I'd escaped one group of people who wanted me to not use my abilities and entered into another world with similar views.

_Except I very much doubt the Templar's would treat you with as much care as the Qun would, at least according to Duncan._

Feeling nostalgic for home? I'm surprised, isn't this what you wanted?

_I wanted to be free. I wanted US to be free._

"What's wrong? You have a strange look on your face."

Duncan was staring at me. I tried to be casual. "What? I don't know what you mean."

"Yes you do. I can see it in your eyes. What's on your mind?"

_Don't tell him about me. He'll think I'm a demon._

And are you?

_We've been through this already. Now answer him before he becomes anymore suspicious._

"I guess I'm just worried is all. Seems no one likes mages."

"Too true you are. Some tolerate them, the same way they'd tolerate beggars on the streets, but no one loves them, except the Tevinter. They're in power, but are a nasty lot. I could never abide by blood magic." He saw me drawing breath. "Tevinter's a place and blood magic is a dark forbidden art where you draw power from blood."

"Why not live there? You wouldn't be persecuted."

"No, but you'd pay in other ways. Just trust me, there's no promised land for the mages. It's best to keep your head down, don't go using magic where others can see, and keep moving."

I watched the fire crackle as it consumed a log. What would it be like to control it? I wasn't sure I wanted to after I'd see a village burn to the ground.

I brought myself back to the conversation. "But why, why must we keep moving? Why can't we settle down? Why are we the bad guys?"

"Maker give me strength. Rebas, there's no simple answer for this. Those with and without power need someone to point a finger out when trouble starts. We're the ones they point to. It's always been that way for as long as we have written history: Mages are a threat and should be controlled. Just thank your lucky stars you aren't elven as well. They've suffered far worse than we have."

"In the Qun all races are treated with equal respect."

"You aren't in the Qun anymore. This is Thedas, our world, and in it people suffer, become slaves, and are persecuted. Those who are strong, clever, or lucky enough slip the noose live outside of it all. For the rest of us, we must make our own way."

"And for everyone else that can't?"

He angerly threw another log on the fire. "Just stop it, alright? There's no easy fix. If you want to go try to save the world, fine; but leave me out of it. All I want is to keep what little freedom I have. You have a choice: stick with me and I can try to teach you about magic, or go and try to make your way in a world that doesn't give a damn if you succeed or fail. Now which will it be?"

_He's right, Whistler. We need this man and his knowledge if we hope to make it. Not everyone can be saved. Sometimes bad things happen to good people._

Yes, it did, didn't it? Even in the Qun it happened. Scribe...

_Another time. Not now._

"I want to learn. Please, Duncan, teach me."

"Alright then. One lesson, then sleep."

I sat up, eager.

"Never admit to being a mage."

He cackled at this. I didn't get it, but he was already settling down for bed with promises of a real lesson tomorrow. I did likewise.


	22. Chapter 22

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 22:**

"Well then? Show me what you've learned so far."

I raised my makeshift staff, a straight branch with a bit of raw lyrium placed at it's tip. When I asked if I could use his Saartoh-bas he gave me a look as if I'd asked if I could borrow the underpants he had on, hence the branch.

"Okay, here goes nothing."

I took a step forward and conjured flames in a controlled sphere. I then smoothed it out to a thin sheet before it dissipated. Next came ice. I aimed the staff at the ground and erected an ice crystal. After a little more focus, it shattered into thousands of needle-sharp spikes that hung in the air. Now lightning. I pointed towards the sky as a crack and flash spread into the sky. I pulled the energy around me like a thick blanket as my body began to give off an electrical discharge. Finally, came spirit. My foot swept against the ground as I made an arc in the air. A shield formed around me then broke, causing a percussive wave away from me.

Duncan applauded. "Good, very good! You're an excellent student."

I lowered the Saartoh-bas and smiled. "Can I try it my way now?"

"I guess."

We hadn't practiced this bit because it was something only I grasped. I planted my feet firmly and began brandishing my Saartoh-bas as I whistled. The forest burst with life around me as vines grew up the trees, flowers bloomed, and leaves blossomed over dead branches.

"You're going too fast. Slow down, Rebas."

I tried, but still didn't really understand how to control it. my whistling slowed and some growth stopped while others withered and died. When I tried to call them back to life, they refused to respond. I stopped.

"I'm getting better at it, but its like learning a foreign language without being able to speak a common tongue."

"Yes, that certainly is a good analogy for it. Anyway, let's stop for now. Magic has a tendency to draw attention. Hide your staff and lets continue on."

We moved on to another small town. The guards at the gate gave a long look as they examined the old blood stains on my clothes, but let us pass without comment. It was either they gawk at the blood or a young man in women's clothes. I still heard the howls of laughter from Duncan when I put them on. This town was like the others we'd recently passed through. It had a market square, some buildings, farmland, and a tavern. We headed in the direction of the latter. Inside, the patrons gave us a cursory glance. We must have passed inspection, because no one took issue with us.

"What'll it be sir?"

"Beer for me, cider for the boy."

We'd long since decided it was safer for both of us if I pretended to be his son. We didn't entirely look dissimilar, but a keen observer would have been suspicious.

"That's why you don't give em' a reason to. Keep your head down, act like the others, and no one will take notice." He'd said before we'd entered the first town. And so it had gone.

We drank our drinks and sat by the fire, watching the others watch us.

"Are we staying the night?"

"Maybe, we'll see."

We finished our drinks and sat there, enjoying being inside and warm. A woman broke away from the others. Her face and shoulders were heavily freckled, the dress a little tight on her and made for a time when there might have been less of her from the chest up.

She gave a cheery wave and smile. "Hello. Doris is the name."

We exchanged our names.

"You two merchants?"

Duncan spun his empty glass in his hand. "Just passing through?"

"Farmers then?"

"Travelers. And you?"

"Me? I'm just a woman lookin' for a bit of help. Interested?"

"Depends. What's needing done?"

"Need to know your credentials first." She took a furtive look around, then leaned in closer to us, exposing her chest to better view. "You a mage?"

"Why?"

She moved even closer to him. "Maybe I've got some business that needs doing."

His smile spread across his face. "Maybe I've a bit of business for you too. Perhaps we can discuss this privately, lady to mage-like."

She got up and he followed. So much for rule number one and all.

_He's a man. It's common enough._

And what am I?

_Not long ago you were an __Aqun-Athlok. _

He had a point... My eyes went out of focus as I sat there, willing the time to pass.

_Let him have his fun, and theirs always coin to be made from people looking for a mage._

I guess this is life now, a hedge-mage. I miss the security of the Qun.

_... Me too, in a way._

And so we sat by the fire, alone, waiting for "father" to return from his rendezvous with the buxom redhead.

* * *

Nimble sat on his bed, thinking. Whistler, now only branded as the escaped Saarebas, had been gone for several months now. The Arvaarad sent to capture or kill him hadn't returned, and they'd sent out Ben-Hassrath spies to ferret out what had become of them. He hadn't been selected for the mission due to his proximity to The Dangerous Thing. That had only been a reasonable precaution on their part. After all, he hadn't been able to kill him when he asked, how could he be expected to either do it now, or deliver information to apprehend him. So much had happened since then, and he was a man in every sense of the word now. Was Whistler even still alive at this point? He would probably never know.

A knock came from the entrance to his room.

"Enter."

One of his commanders, a Salit, came in. "A new mission for you. Have you recovered from your last assignment?"

"Yes."

"Good, you are being sent out undercover as a Tal-Vashoth merchant with the aid of another, a Taarbas. Your main objective is to aid the Taarbas in his duties to obtain any and all weapons of fallen Qunari soldiers. You may either purchase them or in any other way you see fit that will not compromise the cover of you or the Taarbas. Understood?"

"Yes, Salit. When do we leave?"

"Immediately."

He gathered his possessions and left the room.

* * *

"No, no, more like this."

Mayflower demonstrated the technique again to the class of new recruits.

"If you fail to dig it out properly on both sides it won't take and the roots will die. I want to all to copy this trench. I'll come around and inspect your work."

They did their best, and a few even did a passable job, but she had to go over everything with most for a third time. As she did so, she thought back to the Athlok Whistler, who later became a Tamassran, then Saarebas. He'd never needed additional instructions from her. Then it clicked in her head, and she exclaimed out loud. "Oh!"

The nearby student turned to her. "Is something the matter Athlok Mayflower, Ma'am?"

"No, it's nothing. Continue your work everyone. I will return soon. When I do, I expect to see perfect trenches."

They all nodded, and she made pace towards the settlement.

* * *

Dull. Tamassran Red/Green was looking over records for children. Their given number and nickname s ran down the page. Most had notes beside them about what they might best be suited for. Her mind began to wander.

"Tamassran, may I come in?"

She looked up to see a familiar face of an elven woman, though she could not place her.

"Yes, of course."

The woman sat down. "You may not remember me. My name is Athlok Mayflower. We met briefly during the screening of the now Saarebas."

Yes, that had been where she'd seen her and nodded to show it. "I recall. What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to discuss the Tamassran that had been under your tutelage, Whistler."

The name twisted in her gut. She kept her voice neutral. "To what end?"

"I just realized why the crops grew rapidly under his care. It was his magic and whistle."

She thought about it. "Possibly, but why tell me."

The woman looked uncomfortable. "We, Tamassran, I just wondered if maybe it wouldn't have benefited the Qun to have such an ability."

She sighed. "The teachings of the Qun are quite clear on this, Athlok. Anything that can tempt someone away from their purpose must be avoided. It is a choice we all make, and we can refuse it."

"But magic is not a choice."

"I'm sorry, but this conversation is unproductive. If you are petitioning me to speak to the Arigena Triumvirate, I cannot. Magic is forbidden and anyone practicing it must be leashed for their own safety."

The other woman made a few more comments about other subjects then left. Yes, the Qun was quite clear about the uses of magic, but didn't she have a point? Then she thought about the possession of her favorite student, Whistler, and grimaced. There were rules for a reason...


	23. Chapter 23

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 23:**

I looked over at him.

"What? Don't give me that high-brow look. A man has his needs."

"I didn't say anything."

The noise he made was low and gruff. "You didn't need to. Never try to hide anything from people. You wear your emotions on your face."

"Do not."

"Do too, or we wouldn't be having this conversation. I told you, a man has needs."

"And was it also part of your need to reveal we were mages."

His smile reappeared. "Well, as to that, she liked a little bit of danger. If it turns her crank to have a mage in her bed, more power to her. And before you go mouthing off, no, that wasn't the bit of work she was wanting done. She wants us to chase some people off her land."

"Who are they?"

"Does it matter? She wants em' gone. Way she said it some Lords trying to force her off the land. We're sent to persuade them to move along."

"And if she's lying?"

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me. We got half down now, we'll get the other half later. Now focus, and remember what I told you, if you want to go play hero, be my guest, but do it elsewhere. You're free to go at any time."

I grumbled, but said nothing more.

_Knock it off and pay attention. He's right, you know? We can't always do what's right._

Yeah, it's so much easier to do the wrong thing.

_Quiet._

"So, Darlene said she lives up the way. It's a small house and barn with a windmill on top for flour. Way she says it they're threatening to put it all to the torch. Our job is to send them packing by any means necessary without letting them burn her out, got it?"

I thought back to the mission that the bandit, Corm, tried to force me into.

_At least this time you're preventing the fire, not starting it._

I guess there's at least that.

"Yeah, Duncan. I've got it. Any suggestions?"

"Depends how you want to play this. As your mentor of a sort, you pick it and I'll tell you how we can make it happen."

"I'd like to do it without bloodshed."

He nods. "Thought you might say that. It complicates matters a little. If you had better control over your abilities I'd say let's wrap them in vines and roll them down the nearest hill. The next best things probably going to be intimidation."

"Why not try talking to them? We might be able to persuade them to leave?"

"Won't work. We've got no lever against them. Maybe if there was more of us it'd work, but we're too few. Plus, they could turn around and threaten to expose us to Templars. No, if you want to do it that way, we need a threat, and a good one. Best to rough them up a little, helps make them listen."

_Don't be unreasonable. He's been around far longer than you have and knows more about this world than we probably ever will._

"Fine, do we come out blasting?"

"Let's look em' over first, then decide."

We headed in that direction. Before leaving the square, he popped into a few shops until he found the one he wanted.

"Here we are. Let's get you some clean clothes. Can't go around everywhere looking like you just slaughtered a pig."

The woman inside made tisking sounds when she saw what I was in. She fussed and clucked, sounding more like a hen than a shop owner until I had a set of clean clothing and shoes. Duncan paid and I went into the back room to change. Despite his protests, I kept both the bloody clothes and the robes. Who knew when I'd have a chance to get more. Outside, we picked up the pace towards our destination.

"That's coming out of your share. At any rate, you look better now, like a proper young man, except that hair of yours."

"It stays for now."

I didn't like the idea of having it cut. It helped remind me of who I'd been. Before long, we could see the small farm and windmill off in the distance.

"Let's get a bit closer, see what we can learn."

We stuck to the treeline and watched. There was nothing to see, but kept at it. Our patience was rewarded when a half an hour later, we saw a group of four men milling about, poking around in buildings and making loud unintelligible comments.

I turned to Duncan. "What do you think?"

"Bunch of rough-necks. Probably local boys paid to harass her. One's got a bow, the others probably have daggers. If their wearing armor or leathers, it's hidden under their clothes. Like as not, they aren't. If they're mercenaries they're either wet behind the ears or no good at it."

"Why do you say that?"

"They'd be wearing better gear, most from the people they'd killed. No, not this lot. So, tell me, Rebas, knowing what we now know what's the best course of action?"

I thought about it. The man with the bow was the biggest threat. If we took care of him or broke the bow, they might scatter.

_Any ideas on how to do that?_

No, not really.

_I might have one._

Shanedan...

He spoke and I agreed, then turned to relay it to Duncan. "We flank them. I'll go around and hide by that stone wall there. You call out to them and talk, get them distracted. Meanwhile, I'll ensnare them. I think I can do it if I'm close without hurting them too much. I'll break the bow, and we can try either talking them out of this, or intimidating them, whichever's more effective."

"If you set me up for this boy, I'll-"

"I won't, Duncan. I promise. Trust me."

He chuckled. "That's rule number two, never trust anyone. All the same, I'm inclined to with you. You're too honest for that kind of thing. Okay, we do it your way. I'll give you 15 minutes to make your way over there, but if things go tits up, no messing around. We come out blazing."

"Understood."

I made my way silently into position without needing the majority of the allotted time. I waited until I'd seen him coming down from the treeline. They spotted him and headed in that direction.

_Still too far. Hold on. Almost... NOW!_

I popped up, Saartoh-bas in my right hand, my left one placed firmly on a nearby tree. I focused and let my notes fly along with my magic. Roots shot towards the group unseen. In one go, I'd managed to get all but a single man, but was glad to see the thin bowman was entangled. They twined themselves around the men and I ran.

"What in the name of the Maker is this?"

I was on them, thin man reached for his bow, but I was faster and it snapped like a dead branch.

"Nice work, Rebas."

The fourth man stood with his mouth hanging open. He hadn't even drawn a weapon.

Duncan chuckled. "Cute how you boys think you're men. Now listen up, you'll leave and not come back. This land stays where it is. Try anything and my friend will drag these others down to Hell."

Panic flashed behind all their eyes. The free man wheeled towards me and recoiled. "N-no, don't. I don't want no trouble from mags or demons."

_They think we're a demon!_

Well I'm still not sold you aren't one.

_I told you-_

Yeah, yeah. You're me. I know what you said.

_If I were a demon I'd tear you to pieces from the inside for your attitude. Doesn't do to badmouth those from the other side of the veil. _

I'll remember that.

Duncan spoke up again, "Then you'll do as we ask. My friend here doesn't like people who won't listen to reason."

"Please, no. We'll move on. We want none of your kind after us. We follow the way of Andraste."

"Best follow the path out of town instead. Double back, tell anyone about this, or do anything against the woman here and down you go. Hell's a hot place, you wouldn't like it." And he conjured a small circle of fire around them.

_He may be heavy-handed with the theatrics, but you have to give him points for style. _

"Please no, we'll go, we will! No word will come from us, I swear it, I do!"

For once in the encounter I spoke, my voice hard. "Good. Just remember, to break a promise is a dangerous thing."


	24. Chapter 24

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 24:**

Since that time, another half year had passed. Duncan and I had run several more requests. Aside from one or two hiccups, and a man who insisted on meeting death at the hands of Duncan's magic, things were going smoothly.

"We make a good team, you and I. The Mage and the Demon."

Somehow, every time we pulled off a mission like this they'd thought I'd been an abomination. It was more effective than telling them the truth, so we ran with it. When I commented on this to Duncan, we waived the matter aside casually.

"It's the way you cast magic. If any of them's ever even laid eyes on a mage using magic before, they'd be able to tell you don't do it like they did. Also, that whistle of yours has a way of scaring them."

"Really, why? It's so chipper and upbeat."

"And it's exactly for that reason that you scare em'. It's not normal for a mage to do that. They think you've been taken over. Besides, the Chantry teaches the people to fear magic for that exact reason, because of our close contact with spirits and demons. It's only natural-like that they feel this way."

I wasn't sure how to feel about this.

_It's because you're pretending to be what the Qun fear all mages might become, possessed._

You're right. Worse, they might me right.

_Why do you constantly insist on bringing this up? _

Humor me. Isn't it possible that you might be some kind of spirit, but not really know it?

_Doubtful._

Not really. You were the one that pointed out I had a life before the Qun even though I really can't remember any if it Couldn't it also be true that you forgot you were a spirit when you entered my body?

_No, or at least... I don't know. _

Duncan cut in on our little chat. "Anyway, we're coming up on the next big city soon. It's Redcliffe Village. Maybe we can stay put for a bit."

"I could do with a roof over my head for a bit."

"I'll bet. We'll take tonight off, then visit all the usual locations in the morning."

What he meant was we'd hang around places where people might solicit us to do work. The usual places for this were bars, city centers, seedy shops, wells, and sometimes dark alleys. Those were the worst, and they always wanted far more of us than we were willing to give. We were hedge mages and apostates, not assassins.

Duncan and I headed to the nearest inn and took rooms, the two of us not sharing as he often found "company". I hadn't, but didn't begrudge him it. We were downstairs eating some stew and talking about nothing. I had my ears open and noticed the room of people covertly watching us. Duncan noticed it too by the way he sat. Scenes like this could get really nasty in a hurry. In situations like this it was far better to pretend you didn't notice. We finished our dinner quickly after that and the two of us headed up to our rooms. I locked the door and put a jug of water on the windowsill, a trick Duncan had shown me. Even with this, it took me a long time to fall asleep, and when I finally did it was with my Saartoh-bas clutched firmly in my hand.

The next day we spent skulking around, but no one came up to us.

Duncan leaned against a nearby building, stubbing the end of his show into the dirt. "I think word's gone out about us. Guess our reputation's caught up to us. Wouldn't be hard to spot the two of us and connect the dots."

"What's this mean for us."

He shrugged. "Who knows. We'll spend another day or two here. If nothin' comes of it, we'll move on."

I pulled my arms tighter across my chest, "I don't like it."

"Me either, but we have to try."

We stood there, waiting. A tall older elf-man with white hair approached, making no secret that he was headed in our direction. He stopped a few feet away from us. "Are you two the possessed mages?"

Duncan spat in the dirt. "Rumor's getting out of hand. Last I heard only one of us was supposed to be possessed."

"Are you?"

"What, the mages, or possessed?"

"Both."

"Yes, and if that helps put more coins in our pocket, sure."

The old elf smiled. "You've got a mouth on you."

"Watch it old man, you're not my type."

"Mine either. I've a job for you if you're up to it."

"Depends. What is it and how much?"

"You might have noticed how skittish this town is right now. A little girl found out she was a mage in a bad way. Ended up burning down her parents home with a few of them still in it. The village sent for the Templars to come cart her off to a circle, where she'll never be seen or heard from again. I want to you to stop them."

Duncan put his palm up and shook his head. "We don't mess with the Templars. No. We refuse."

"Not even for a handsome sum?"

It perked his interest. "How handsome?"

"A lot more than you, mage."

He pulled out a bag and dumped coins into his open palm. They were gold. Duncan took one and bit it. I'm not sure what he was testing for, but it must have been what he wanted to find.

"What's this girl to you?"

"Let's just say that she and I have something in common that's not blood."

"If you're a mage, then why can't you save her?"

"Undue attention would be a bad thing for me right now, and there's something else we have in common as well."

And the answer came to both myself and Lucas at once.

_No, but that means... _

I spoke what he was thinking. "You've both been-" I thought for a tactful way to put it. "Touched by a being beyond the veil?"

The old elven man nodded. Duncan looked from me to the man, eyes wide. "You're possessed?"

"I prefer the way your friend put it better. Yes, There is another inside me. We share this body just the same as the girl does now. If the Templars figure it out, they'll cut her down."

Neither Duncan nor I said what we were thinking, that it might be for the best if she were. A glint came into the man and his skin bubbled and rippled just under the surface. He was no longer the slightly imposing elf he'd been, there was another that stepped forward. Even his voice sounded different, like the rasp of a saw against wood. "I am no longer asking, I'm telling you that you will break her free. Keep the gold, I don't care. But leave this town without aiding me and I will liquefy both of you before you can be a mile away from here. Do you understand?"

We both nodded, to scared to do anything else.

"Good. I expect great things," He turned to me and pointed a disfigured finger. "you especially, young man. I can feel something deep within you that wants to speak..."

My heartbeat was irregular and I'd ceased to breath.

_Does he mean..._

Is he referring... to us?

Neither of us cared to think about it.

Like a stage performer switching costumes for another role, the elf was back and smiling. "Do I make myself clear, gentleman?"

Duncan's eyes were wide. "P-perfectly."

He dropped the purse of gold coins and left us there, shaking and sweaty. It had been the first time I'd really seem why the common folk and Qunari alike fear mages. We were susceptible to becoming abominations that wore the skin of man.


	25. Chapter 25

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 25:**

I'd been the first to recover. "Was that a demon?"

"It had to be. I've seen one or two mages become possessed when in the circle, but none like this. Part of your initiation into becoming a true mage is to fight off a demon during their Harrowing. It's awful to watch."

"What happens?"

"Templars come for an apprentice and takes them to a room. You're forced to either pass through the fade to face a demon, or become Tranquil and lose your powers and free will."

_Sounds like how the Qunari use qamek to free those that will not be cured._

"You stand in the circle of Templars and go across the veil where a demon's been lured specifically for that reason. If you can throw them off and not give into temptation, you cross back over and get a silver lyrium ring. If you fail and the demon is inside you, or you take too long, one of the Templars cut you down, and you remain in the fade, forever."

I shuddered. "That's barbaric."

"Yes, it is."

"Why do they allow it?"

"What choice to they have? They're under the Templars control. What are they going to do, refuse? That'll get you blade every time. I guess an argument could be made that they're looking to avoid situations like the one we just encountered from happening, but it's still not right. It's why I escaped."

"What do we do now?"

Duncan leaned down to pick up the bag of gold. It contained many coins and drooped with their weight. His shoulders slumped in the attitude of a defeated man. "We're stuck. We have to do this or die, though we'll likely die in the process. Templars are touchy bastards under the best of circumstances. Use magic on them and they go berserk."

"Can we reason with them?"

His laugh was the kind men let out after a chairs been pulled out from someone else. "Nope. Doubt we'll be able to break the girl out without bloodshed either. This time, it's kill or be killed, and we can't be seen by anyone else, or we'll have men after us before you know it. Maker take us, its impossible!"

"But I don't want to kill, not unless we absolutely have to."

"Trust me, Rebas, we will. There's no reasoning with Templars over magic. They're fanatics against it. You don't just walk up to them and try to reason with them. This isn't the Qun!"

Mores the pity.

_Agreed. _

* * *

I looked over at the Taarbas, asking with my eyes if this was one of them. The Dwarf held out is hand and inspected the blade from all angles.

"Fine piece of work, isn't she?"

"Yes, it's excellent craftsmanship." said the Taarbas, Pint. "I can see the hands of a real master in it, where's it from?"

The man smiled, his big brawny arms covered in old healed burns. "Made it myself. I may not look it, but I have some skills in me."

Pint looked over at me, "Yes, just as a woman holds a needle, this man holds a hammer. Right Poker?"

Pint was using my spy name, a totally unoriginal one and assigned to me for my horns. I was playing the role of body-guard to a wealthy dwarf merchant. More importantly, he was using the code to indicate that this was the weapon of a fallen Qunari soldier. The soul of a warrior was in this blade, and the man claimed to take credit for it. It made me sick.

"Too right you are, sir."

We were alone, and the man's two apprentices were working the bellows in the back. Now or never. My blade was out and in his neck before he could even widen his eyes. He drew in breath and tried for a cry, but I knew what I was doing and had cut him in such a way that let him die in silence. Pint laid the blade back o the counter with caution and reverence.

I hooked my thumb over my shoulder. "What about them back there, do we take them to a Vidathiss for re-education?"

He thought about that, his eyes remaining on the blade. "Let's give them a choice. The encampment isn't too far from here. We could do it, but only if they want it."

I nodded. "Good, then we can search the place more thoroughly. Where there's one, there might be more."

"Too right you are, Nimble."

He parroted my last words to the blacksmith, his meaning clear. We both knew the man was not fit to be Qunari. Anyone who profited from knowingly selling the souls of our people could never truly be part of the Qun.

* * *

"Athloks, let's make better use of the Viddath-bas. They're here to work."

Some students seemed unsure of themselves, wary of the newcomers. She could kind of see their point. They'd been captured mages, too dangerous to be chained and called Saarebas. She would have to talk to a Tamassran about doing a re-education of the group, herself included. She could not let her feelings affect her role.

"Athlok Mayflower, Ma'am?"

One of the new recruits called her over.

"Yes, what can I do to assist?"

"How do we give the Viddath-bas orders?"

"You need to show them where to work."

The girl stopped. "Does... does that require me to touch them?"

A bad sign.

"What is your name, Athlok?"

"Well, my number is 228311. I really don't have a nickname other than the one I gave myself."

"And that is?"

"Mouse, Ma'am."

"Well, Athlok Mouse, follow me. I feel you require immediate re-education. This is nothing to be ashamed of, but we cannot treat members of the Qun differently based upon our own prejudices. Come with me."

The poor girl looked down, her eyes sparkling and cheeks flushed. "Y-yes Ma'am."

"The rest of you, continue what you are doing. I will speak to the Tamassran about doing a re-education for all of us. If we are to be successful in our roles, we must learn to accept the Viddath-bas without fear. They will not hurt us and deserve our respect."

The class made agreeing sounds back to her in chorus. She led the girl, Mouse, to Tamassran Red/Green.

* * *

Again, here was the elf, Athlok Mayflower. This time it appeared she was not here to talk about magic, but for an actual reason. She'd brought a small child with her. "Yes, what can I do for you."

"Tamassran Red/Green, this is Athlok Mouse. She is showing difficulty adjusting around the Viddath-bas. I feel immediate re-education would be beneficial. I would also like to talk to you afterward."

She nodded, shuffling papers to the side. "Of course. I will speak to one of my fellow Tamassrans about Mouse, so we can talk. I've been meaning to anyway."

She sent for someone and the small girl was led away, tears of shame streaming down her face. It would be fine. She would learn in due time, just like everyone else. Speaking of learning...

"Athlok Mayflower, please have a seat."

The woman did so.

"Now, what did you want to see me about?"

She'd expected more of the same, but was surprised. "I'm asking for re-education of myself and the other Athloks in my class. They are not working well with the Viddath-bas. I brought Mouse here now because it was clear she could not continue in her role until immediate action was taken."

"I'm glad to hear you say that, Mayflower, as I feel you do require it about mages as a whole. We will begin this as soon as arrangements can be made for your students."

The other woman nodded, she had to have seen this coming. Ever since her Saarebas student never returned, she'd been showing signs of empathy towards mages; and while it was true that they were sick with an illness that cannot be cured, they cannot be allowed to move about unchecked. Worse, the woman was hinting that magic might not be bad. It went against all of their teachings and couldn't be permitted.

"I understand, Tamassran. Will you conduct it yourself?"

"No, it will be handled by someone else."

And the other woman too was led away, leaving Red/Green all to herself. Mayflower's Saarebas student had been her student as well, a fact she could never seem to escape, like she had. Her face darkened. She'd probably gone back to calling herself "he" now that she had no role in the Qun.

Red/Green looked down at her own ill-fitting robes and sighed. She too would need re-education as it seemed she was feeling discomfort in her given role.


	26. Chapter 26

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 26:**

The Templars were patrolling a small shack on the outskirts of town. Duncan lowered some sort of device meant to see far into the distance. "Either that's where they've got her, or it's where they intend to bring her to."

"How many can you see?"

"From the outside, four. I'd be more than willing to bet there's more inside, probably at least another two, but most likely four."

"So six to eight Templars total?"

His voice, when he spoke, was filled with rage. "An impossible number for two mages to deal with! This is hopeless!"

"No, leaving town is hopeless. There has to be a way. Have you ever fought a Templar?"

"Fought? Yes. Killed? No. It was when I broke out of the circle. I called on some powers beyond my control. They distracted the Templars and I fled."

I didn't like the sounds of that, but what was I going to do, criticize him? Hadn't a demon insinuated that there was another presence inside me too? I waited for Lucas to respond, but he didn't. I felt him in the corner of my mind, going over what the demon said. If he had come up with anything important, he wasn't willing to share it with me.

"What do we do here?"

"Not a lot we can do, separate em' and try to pick them off one by one would be best. Two Hedge Mages should make short work of one, but if you toy with the odds a little more... well, best not dwell on it."

"I guess we'd better get started, huh?"

"If they kill the girl, we die. As outnumbered as we are, I think we still stand a better chance against them than an abomination. Just being in his presence was enough to give me nightmares."

I agreed, and we began planning out a course of action. It was a good plan, provided nothing went wrong and everything fell into place. We agreed that we could probably lure one, maybe two away, before the whole group came to investigate. I'd been nominated as the killer, a job I didn't relish. I'd been a long time since I killed, and then only as an accident.

Duncan and I got into position. Five minutes later, he conjured a small light that winked off and on. In the darkness, the Templars couldn't help but see it. One pointed it out while the other three watched. A discussion ensued, and the pointer was sent to investigate. I waited, readying the killing blow. There could be no whistling here, it was a silent operation, for now. The man drew closer and closer, as I began to feel myself choke.

I can't do it!

_But we have to! It's our life or theirs. _

I can't do it! There must be some other way.

_There isn't. Whistler, do it, now, before he spots you. _

I can't.

The image of the Arvaarad soldiers last seconds of life filled my mind as flashes of Scribe's head being split open. Too much, I can't! My mouth opened to scream.

The wall in my mind rotated, and I was no longer in control for the first time in nearly two years. Lucas came forward. Still, I tried to plead.

We can't kill them. This isn't right, Lucas!

_It must be, we're out of other options._

Don't.

The man was in full range and had just spotted us. I watched as my arms raised the staff. Without thinking, I whistled in my own mind, the notes loud and shrill. The Saartoh-bas was nothing more than a branch with lyrium at the end of it and I poured my power into and through it. Growth shot out from it towards the man, pulling him close as it bound around his arms, lets and mouth.

_What did you just do?_

I don't know. I whistled, but it still had an effect. How?

_No time to think about that, they'll notice he's gone. _

And they did. They called out a name and got no reply. The man was at our feet, hidden among the undergrowth. Lights popped on again. The men saw it, but chose to ignore it. They yelled out the other mans name. He wriggled and tried to say something, but was bound too tightly. His reply was inaudible. Silence. All three came towards the area he'd last been seen in, blades drawn and ready. We weren't even inside the house and the plan was already falling apart.

_Can you do that again?_

I can try.

_Good, I'll go for the tree. Focus your power through it. See if you can get them all. _

The men were running in my direction and I sensed the panic of Duncan. He popped up and shot a fireball in their direction. The men saw it, and dodged, now only feet away from me. My music rang in my own head and the tree roots shot out like spider webs. I'd gotten them all, but not cleanly. The bound Templars started yelling as I reeled them in close to the trunk and left them there as they hacked at the wood, calling out for reinforcements. Back to Duncan I ran.

"What happened?"

"Never mind, I have an idea that will work, but it won't last forever. Cover me."

Without waiting, I moved to a better vantage point, climbing as silently as Lucas could manage it. He was still in charge of my body, but I was the one giving orders.

Faster!

_I'm trying, It's hard to do one-handed. _

Then drop it!

He did, and it helped. The men came running out of the house, three sets of armor gleamed in the light of the smoldering flames of Duncan's fireball. They scanned the area while I made my move. From the branches of the tree above, I pushed my energy through and down to the roots. They flew up from the ground and pulled them in with the others. Six bound men were pinned against the tree while the seventh writhed beneath them.

_The last is probably in the house with the girl. _

I know, grab the Saartoh-bas, flag down Duncan, and let's get this over with.

Inside of the shack it was a mess. The walls were covered with mildew and peeling plaster while the floorboards were bare and broken. A man stood there, a blade held against the throat of a young black girl. There was a cut where it made contact, and a small stream ran down her front, staining a filthy white shirt. The man was fully lit up by the fire in the hearth, he sunburst clear on his breastplate.

His voice was low. "Take one more step, and she dies."

Neither Duncan nor I moved.

"Smart men. You might have taken the others by surprise, but not me. Turn around, drop your weapons, and put your arms behind you, and be quick about it!"

_No. He'll kill us._

I felt us react.

Stop! We'll kill her!

No trees, no ability to move life, only my wand. I looked down and had the answer. I complied, dropping the weapon as my hands rested on the ground, but instead of turning, I faced him.

"I said-"

And I was back in control. I whistled and the wooden floorboards shot out from under him, then wrapped the Templar leader up tight, like the others. The blade came away from her neck and the little girl ran towards me. The three of us fled into the night as the man yelled after us, "Abominations!"

We made good time through the fields. The moon was full and bright that night as if mother nature herself knew we would have a need for it. Before long, a slender figure could be seen standing in the distance. It was him: the elf who'd become an abomination. We stopped fifty feet from him, the girl clinging to my pants as she wept.

"Nicely done. I would have done it better, but beggars can't be choosers, now can they?"

It was the voice of the elf, not the demon.

"Now what?"

"Hand the girl over to me."

She spoke up, her voice high and reedy. "No, no! Take me back. I'm wrong!"

The man knelled and held out his hand, the way you would for a stray dog. "No child, you aren't. You're special. Come with me now."

She shook her head, her grip on me tightening. "I won't."

"Do you think these men want you with them, or the people of that town? They don't. You've killed, and you have something great inside you. Come with me, now."

"No!"

The man in front of us changed without transitioning. A dark being with long liquid claws knelt in his place, his eyes more vibrantly lavender than any plant I'd ever seen. An aura emanated from him and enveloped us as his voice, darkness itself, rang out, "Come to me."

Something in her responded to his call. Her dark skin paled and blew in the wind as if she were made of smoke. She went to him without comment. The two turned to us, saying nothing. The lavender light shifted from me to Duncan, his remarks aimed at him. "Well done, both of you. Yes, Duncan, I am exactly what you think; but no, I am not evil. We work together, the man and I. I know you will never believe that, but it is the truth. I can see into you, Duncan. You were wise to leave before your harrowing. Never cross the veil. I see what is in your heart, and others would feast upon it. Hope that none come to you. A man like you lacks the inner strength required to throw them off."

He clutched at his chest, his knees giving way. "T-that... was a m-mistake. I was young and s-scared. I told her not to..."

The liquid shadow waived it aside. "You only watched as she failed, and did nothing. She needed you, and you turned away. But I care not."

He was sputtering. "De-demons use half-truths. You don't know... me. Now leave my mind."

His gaze fell on me as the lavender traveled through both of us, Lucas and I. "You, on the other hand, Whistler, or Lucas, or Rebas; whatever you choose to call yourself..." His smile shown us another darkness, deeper than the rest. "You are an interesting one. How many years now has it been? Almost eight. Impressive work!"

My body shook all over as the frost crept into my chest.

"Such an interesting past. Yes, she had been pretty, a shame you weren't faster. It wasn't right, what they did to Scribe, but you're to blame. You knew the whole time, but chose to stay. That was a mistake. You can be even better than you are now, and you know it. Harness that spirit inside."

Lucas came forward with great effort and spoke. "I'm no spirit or demon. I'm real and human."

"Yes, Lucas, you are, but you were gone so long that you forgot which one was which, didn't you?"

I felt it coming, something that would tear us both apart. Duncan was right, it used half-truths to destroy us. We must resist it.

_Don't listen. _

I'm trying.

Something happened. The lavender light blazed and raced towards me as I fell face-first into it as the world around me disappeared. All around us I felt the demon as we burned in an intense swirling vortex of light. His voice threatened to rip my head open with its volume and rasp. It came from everywhere and nowhere all at once.

"I can see neither of you really knows. Very well, I shall tell you both. Lucas! You are the human. You've been gone so long that you forgot it. Whistler, you are the spirit, and you've been in control ever since the Viddasala took you to the Viddathlok to break your mind when Lucas was captured as a little boy! He was a fighter and refused the re-education process. Even after his father succumbed to the Qun, Lucas fought on. Such a hard thing for mere child to face alone. You entered the body of Lucas and gave him comfort when he could take no more. His consciousness slipped under the waves, leaving only you. How does it feel, spirit of compassion, to know that the human has had to comfort you after you forgot your own role?"

Our screams were like the buzzing of an insects wings. They came nowhere close to being heard over the loud ringing laughter of the demon in our head, all we could do was flail about in that lavender miasma of pain.


	27. Chapter 27

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 27:**

We hung there, suspended in nothing but surrounded by everything.

Any grasp I'd managed to have on sanity broke as everything fell into place in our minds in that void: Lucas had always wanted to escape the Qun, now we knew why. I'd never wanted to kill because I was compassion at my core. For as long as my memory went back in childhood, I'd been possessing the body of another. I'd been the spirit, not the human, forcefully taking control whenever there had been a power struggle within us. It was all true.

I wasn't even a Saarebas anymore, that road had long since passed. I was an abomination and had been for years and years and had never known it, and all of this could have been avoided if I'd just have been willing to be leashed.

_No, you wanted that, for the Qun, I was the one who stood in the way. _

You have every right to do so, this is your body.

Both of us felt the other presence all around as he watched and waited, wondering what would happen next.

Lucas's voice rang out. _No! It's now our body. Whistler, spirit or otherwise, we'll face this, together, like we've been doing for years!_

Again, the laugh ripped through us. "How nice it is to see a human and spirit cooperating! There's hope for our kind in you two."

We made no response to this, but he didn't seem to expect one. "I have the girl with me now. She needs help to understand what she is. Would you care to join us?"

Since he was connected inside us, we didn't need to give our response out loud. He found our feverish plea's to be left alone hilarious, and we were treated to the booming laughter again.

"Fine. I'll leave you... for now, but a day might come when you need me. If it ever does, simply speak my name aloud and I shall appear. It's Zio. Don't forget it."

As if to ensure we wouldn't, I felt him enter deeper in our mind as he planted the name in our subconscious, waiting only to be called upon. His cruel laughter began to fade.

The light receded as we returned to our body. Everything was just as it had been before we left, except for us. We looked up and saw the two abominations standing there, one liquid-y and black, the other a puff of white.

The darkness spoke, "Thanks again. I shall take this child under my wing, she will want for nothing." He pulled out another bag and tossed it to the ground, not even bothering to look at it. "That's payment for the amusement that both of you gave me. I haven't enjoyed myself like that in years."

And they vanished, leaving Duncan and I to collapse on the ground. If either of us had been in our right minds, we would have gotten up and fled; but we weren't, and didn't. If the Templars came to kill us, I'm sure that he and I would have welcomed it. From beside me, I heard his muffled sobs and what I thought might have been the name of a woman, Elaine.

Lucas and I were having a battle of our own, this one about who would control the body. It wasn't about being the one in charge, but the one behind the wall. Flip, it was him. Flip, back to me. On and on it went until we both became mentally exhausted.

_I don't want it. Take it!_

No, it's yours.

_I need to be alone right now to think. I don't want to be in charge. _

Neither do I. Please, take back what's yours.

_It's ours. Stop it._

I don't know how long the three of us lay there. The sun came up and Duncan grabbed hold of my arm, hoisting me to my feet, shoving the closed bag into my hands. "Here, take it. I don't want it anymore. Let's go."

"Where?"

"Anywhere but here, Rebas."

And so we walked, making no movement to hide our tracks. That night, Duncan made a fire, set out the bedrolls, and secured the area all without saying another word to me. The following day was more of the same. It seemed no one had anything to say about the matter. Even our head was silent. I was doing what I could to give Lucas his space. He, in turn, did the same for me.

On day three, Duncan finally spoke again. "There's a small town nearby. We can get provisions there. No work for now, got it."

I'd got it.

We entered the town like sleepwalkers, not bothering to haggle over prices. Merchants were only too happy to take advantage of this. At the inn a woman gave us a wary look. "You two okay?"

"Yes, my son and I have seen some things on the road that... we'd sooner forget. Please excuse us."

She nodded sagely, "Yes, well it's just one of those things, isn't it."

The comment meant both everything and nothing all at once. It had been just one of those things to encounter a demon and have your life and beliefs torn asunder.

"Two rooms please."

We got them, ate, and sat by the fire. Duncan tried to talk, but it all came out spasmodically. He soon stopped. In the end, he sought the company of the innkeeper. The last I saw of him he was waling her up the stairs, his arm slung around her back. I chose to keep my own company, so did Lucas. I must have made it back to my room because I woke up in it as the sun rose on a new day. The two of us lay there together, motionless.

_We can't keep going like this, Whistler. Let's talk about what happened. _

Go ahead, I'm listening.

_You're not a monster. We're not an abomination. _

...

_Please, don't shut me out._

And just like that, my composure broke. I cried and clutched my forehead, my grief pouring down like a waterfall.

That's exactly what I don't want to do. I don't want to push you out. I want you to push me out. Take back what's yours, please. I don't belong in this world.

_I can't, Whistler._

I don't want to become whatever it was that those two are.

_We won't. We can still work together, I promise._

This whole time I thought I was the human and you the potential demon, but it was the other way around. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

I slipped back into sleep.

* * *

Lucas stood in front of me, looking not the way that I do in a mirror, but the way I think I look: a little taller and narrower through the face. He held his arms out and I dove into them. His hands came down over my back and the two of us held each other. How funny, I was the spirit meant to comfort others and now I was being comforted instead. Neither of us said anything. The two of us put more into that apology with feelings than we ever could have with words. We remained that way for the duration of the dream.

* * *

Downstairs, Duncan sat, picking at his breakfast. The innkeeper had her hand on his shoulder and a concerned look on her face. When she saw me, she rushed off to make a second plate. Both of us finished slowly and thanked the woman for her extra show of hospitality to strangers.

"Careful on the road. Not only has there been unrest nearby but I hear them Kanaris are about."

Our attention was pulled in her direction, "What did you say?"

"Them Kanari-types that live together with those big horned men. I've been hearing about them a lot lately. People say they've been snatching some of them up and asking them if they want to be part of something bigger. A few of them even agreed to go. My kitchen maid, Mable Tuppers her name was, ran off and went with them. Stupid girl. Probably thought she was going on some grand adventure or something. More as likely she'll be back in a kitchen washing up again."

"Where are they?"

She shrugged. "Don't know. Best left alone if you ask me. From what I hear, they're only asking people to come with them, not taking. Just tell them no, and they should let you and your father go past." She bowed. "Blessings of Andraste be upon you both."

We mumbled it back and left.


	28. Chapter 28

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 28:**

We walked away from the town and towards the point where she'd told us the Qunari were. I was startled when Duncan spoke to me.

"How are you holding up?"

"... I've been better. You?"

"About the same, not great. Want to talk about it."

We continued to walk through the sun-dappled forest.

"I suppose we should. Where do you want to start?"

He scratched the back of his head, "Guess it's only fair if I give you the opportunity to ask questions about me first."

I motioned it away. "Not important. You always told me you had your past. Go ahead, you can ask me what you want."

"Was... was it telling the truth. Is there someone else in there with you Rebas? He hinted as much back in the alley and when we met him in the fields."

Do we trust him with this information?

_Yes._

"It's true. I didn't really know for sure until he shown me."

"He entered your mind too?"

I nodded, not willing to say more.

"Which one am I speaking to now?"

"That's harder to explain. We've always been here, but I'd hoped he was more of an extremely vocal conscious. We both have a say in what happens. He calls himself Lucas and the spirit calls himself Whistler. But just think of us as one person if it helps. We're Rebas."

_Nicely put. And you're right. When we work together, we're Rebas. _

Thanks, Lucas.

"This explains so much about your abilities and why I've never seen anything like them before. They're from the Fade."

"Quite possibly. Honestly, I really don't know. I can't remember being a spirit. Maybe he was lying, but I don't think he was..."

Duncan let the conversation lapse for a time. When he picked it back up, he'd switched subjects. "So, you're looking for the Qun?"

"I'm not sure, I think that's what I want. I haven't really decided yet."

"But you're a Saarebas."

"Yes, and worse."

He wanted to say something more, so I made an encouraging gesture for him to continue. "Well... the best case scenario would be for them to chain you up for life."

"Maybe that's what we want, Lucas and I."

"But if they knew you were an ab-um... duel-souled shall we say, they'd kill you, right?"

"After what I know, would that really be a bad thing? We're not sure it is."

"Rebas, don't say that!"

"I'm just looking at all sides here. You don't have to come, Duncan. You could leave. Take the gold and start a life away from people. You could forget about what you saw."

A shutter ran down him. "I'm not sure I'll ever be able to do that."

We walked on.

"So, I guess you heard when the demon said I hadn't passed my harrowing, huh?"

"He mentioned it, yeah."

"Well, it's true. I'm no Circle Mage that ran away. I was an apprentice."

"You don't have to tell me about this, you know that right?"

"I know, but since you shared with me it's only fair that I do likewise. Me and a girl, Elaine, had an agreement. When the Templars came to take one of us for their Harrowing the other would sneak in and watch. If we needed saving, the other would help. They took her one night. I followed and managed to sneak in. They place was old and it wasn't hard to manage. They surrounded her, emptied a vial of liquid lyrium, and sent her through the veil, then waited."

We continued on. I thought he didn't mean to continue, until he did. "Now I can't un-see it, those six men flanking her, one with his sword already out. I stood back and held my breath, to scared to do anything more. Then she kind of cried out and fell. The men all gathered close and waited. I saw the man draw the sword over his head and hold it there. I could have saved her maybe if I'd acted them, but I didn't. She burst out all over and I watched in horror as the man took her head off in one clean swoop. I'm not quite sure what happened after that, but I think I may have pulled some demons through the gate that was still partially open. They fought the specters and I ran. Truth is, I'm a coward."

"You're not."

"It's kind of you to say, but I am. I'm always hoping to atone for that, but only end up in the arms of a woman, any woman, to take that memory away for a time."

There was nothing more to say, so we continued our walk. Eventually we began to hear distant voices. I grabbed his arm and turned to him. "It's not too late, you know; to atone. You don't need to do this with me."

"No, I'm too old, I'm too-"

"Martyrdom doesn't suit you, Duncan. You're a man with a man's tastes."

"But I can't just forget."

"You don't need to forget, nor should you, but you also don't need to sacrifice yourself in this way. When I go in there, there's most likely no coming back. They'll turn you into a mindless slave."

"And what about you?"

"They can't. I've taken the antidote to qamek, the poison. All they can choose to do is chain or kill me."

"But I don't want either one to happen to you, Rebas. Yer' a good man, if a little too serious. You deserve better."

"No," I shook my head. "Lucas deserved better. I'm an abomination."

_If you're an abomination, then so am I. Still, I'll stand by your call. The world out there isn't what I'd always thought it would be, and I called out to you. We'll face this together. _

I took the pouch of gold out of my bag and handed it to him. "Go, start over, let yourself be happy."

He took it, then gave me a tight hug. "Thank you Rebas. I won't forget you."

"I know, friend. Now go."

He did, looking back over his shoulder several times before he was out of sight.

_We'll probably never see him again. _

It's for the best.

_You're right. You ready for this?_

Almost.

I took out my bag and rummaged through it, pulling out the heavily mended and stained robes of the Tamassran.

_Really?!_

Why not? I'd once held this role in the Qun, it's only fitting that I return to them the way I left.

_I can't believe we never got rid of those damn things._

I remembered fondly the way that Duncan mocked my keeping them, saying that's why I'd never been with a woman, because I was wanting to be one; but according to Qun laws, I had been one.

_I miss Duncan already. _

Me too, Lucas.

I stripped off my old clothes, leaving them draped over a stump, and got back into my old Tamassran outfit. It didn't fit right, but the robes never had in the first place. I did my best anyway.

_We're really doing this?_

Stop me if you want. I'll gladly cede control to you. This was your body to begin with, you have the final say.

_... Let's do it._

We walked towards the voices and sounds of the camp. Soon, shapes of people became distinguishable between the trees. I continued my pace. A nearby voice called out. "Hello there. This is a Qunari encampment. If you come seeking enlightenment and a cure to the sickness, come join us. If not, continue on. We mean you no harm and hope you'll show us the same consideration."

It was the kind of talk that I'd heard years back. It was nice to hear it again, now that over five years had elapsed.

_I missed it too, Whistler. We're home again._

Yes, we are.

I continued to walk towards the man. His face lit up with a smile, but it twisted in confusion when he got a better look at me. "Are you a Tamassran?"

When I spoke, I felt the old powers of my role in the Qun come back. "Who is in charge here? I would like to speak to them privately."

The small dwarf stopped to think. "Guess that'd be Poker. I'm Taarbas. You can call me Pint."

He held out his and. I shook it, and for the first time in years, I spoke my old name. "Nice to meet you, Pint. I'm Tamassran Whistler."


	29. Chapter 29

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 29:**

The dwarf warmly shook my hand back. "Nice to meet you, Tamassran Whistler. Won't you sit down while I fetch Poker for you?"

I did so, and waited. There were a few others, some of them Qun and some not. I thought I might have even been able to spot the Innkeeper's Kitchen maid, Mable. Pint came back.

"Tamassran, please follow me."

I did so, and was led into a small tent. Pint stood in front of me, blocking my view, "Poker, I've brought her."

"Good, leave us, Pint."

The man nodded and stepped out if his way. Before me stood a man I immediately recognized even though it had been over five years.

"Nimble!"

He got up. I wasn't sure how he'd react to finding a Tal-Vashoth Saarebas. I was surprised to see a smile on his face instead of a weapon in his hand.

"Pint told me there was some feral Tamassran out there in mended robes. I wondered if it might be you or not."

I brushed at the front of them. "You know me, always making life difficult."

_What are you doing? _

If we're going to be killed, I at least want it to feel like it had in the past.

_I was going to say that this wasn't a smart idea, but then I remembered that we both came here voluntarily knowing what the outcome would probably be._

Yeah, this is more than we could have hoped for. Regardless of the outcome, we will let whatever happens happen.

_Agreed. _

Nimble scratched at the base of his horns. "How many years has it been now?"

"Too many." I let out a sigh, "I guess we have to talk about what happened, huh?"

"Yeah, I suppose we should. You start."

"I've got to be honest, I'm surprised you don't have me at knife-point or in shackles at the very least."

That all-too-familiar grim spread across his face. "You've been in my presence for less than a minute and you're already begging me to be rough with you. You haven't changed a bit."

My cheeks came alight with warmth, and for the first time since encountering the demon, I laughed.

"It's you that hasn't changed, Nimble. I never knew you to pass up an opportunity to tease."

"You like it."

It got another chuckle out of me. "Never said I didn't. But seriously, why am I not in custody or dead by now?"

"Because I'm in charge while out in the field. I say what goes. You've been gone a long time, Whistler. I've moved up the chain since you've last seen me. As to being in custody, who says you're not?"

"Good point. Still, you know what I am."

He closed his eyes and nodded solemnly, "Yes, Tal-Vashoth."

"And worse."

"... Saarebas. So why come back? You could have turned away. You didn't need to, but you did anyway, why?"

"Nimble, I've seen and done a lot of things in the world outside. There are good people out there, but others that are killers or worse. When I heard that there were some Qunari recruiters in the area- well, I don't know how to explain it. I felt an overwhelming desire to see them, regardless of the consequences."

He was back to his half joking manner. "What surprises me is that you kept those robes the whole time you were gone. Why?"

"I didn't want to forget. I think a part of me deep down always intended to return one day."

"So, here you are."

"Yep, here I am."

A silence fell over us.

I drummed my fingers on my legs. "Now what?"

"I'm trying to decide that. Really, the only ones that know about this are you and me."

"What are you getting at?"

"Suppose I don't say anything about you until we get back to the Qun, would that be better or worse for you?"

"I-I'm not sure. Honestly, I hadn't expected to be treated this way and I certainly hadn't thought I'd run into you. I'd given up hope on that long ago."

"Why's that?"

"It was the way you looked at me when I told you I was a Saarebas. This terrible expression of guilt came over you right before you walked away, like you couldn't bare to look at me."

"Yes, I remember." He got up and walked across the tent towards me. "I still think about that day pretty often. I'm not sure if I made the right decision or the wrong one."

My chest gave a flutter, then constricted on itself.

_What's wrong?_

This could be hurting him. It might even be putting his status with the Qun at risk.

_You're right, but what's the alternative? _

I might have one.

I flashed it across our mind.

_Okay, I'm alright with it if you are._

I am.

In that space of time, Nimble had come over to stand near me. I spoke. "My offer back then still stands, Nimble. Nothing's changed. I'm still a Saarebas and I still hear voices in my head. What I am has no place in the Qun. They can't even use the Qamek on me because I took the antidote. Why not kill me like I'd asked?"

He turned his head fractionally away from me, "Yes, I remember you asking me to do that. Whistler, why do you always ask the impossible of me?"

"Because you're my closest friend. If I can't ask you, then who?"

"Didn't you make friends on the road? Why did you never ask one of them?"

"I only ever made one true friend, but he doesn't understand the ways of the Qun. He wouldn't know how it felt to be a monster in the eyes of my own people."

"Was he a Saarebas as well?"

"Yes. Duncan was a good man who'd made his share of mistakes in his time. He was one of the good people I met."

"And all that time you've been gone you couldn't have asked him to do it, or done it yourself?"

I pursed my lips. "Well, I did jump into the river to get away from the Arvaarad without thought to my own safety. At that point I might have welcomed death."

He turned from me, "I wish you would have drowned."

His words were worse than being struck. Both Lucas and I stood there, unable to say anything back. When he turned to face us again, his expression was concerned. "What's wrong Whistler?"

My throat was too tight to speak, but he must have thought over what he said, and a look of horror came over him. "Shit, Whistler, that's not what I meant. All I meant was that I don't want to be put in the position where I have to kill you. I couldn't do it back then and I don't want to have to do it now."

I didn't say anything. My emotions were still in too great a flux.

Nimble took a step back from me. "How about this: Let's just pretend for a while that nothing's changed between us. Can we do that, just for a little while?"

He held his arms wide, inviting me to come to him. I hesitated. Lucas noticed and gave me a mental nudge.

_If you want to, you should._

It's not right to you, Lucas.

_Don't worry about me. You've been more than considerate to me over the years. This is your choice._

I thanked him. And just like that, I was back in Nimble's arms. I felt like a fool, but couldn't help myself. The man had only grown taller since we'd ran. He now towered over me. No sense trying to hide how I felt. I hugged him tighter.

"I've missed you."

He patted me on the back with his big hands. "Yes, I know. Me too."


	30. Chapter 30

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 30:**

It all happened a little faster than I'd thought it would. He started caressing my shoulders and I kind of went limp in his arms. I found myself being carried towards his bedroll. He set me down and made to walk away, but I grabbed for his hand, saying it with my eyes. He saw, joined me on the floor, and threw the blanket over us both.

It'd been my first time, but he was gentle. Afterward, both of us lay there. I felt somewhat ashamed of my behavior. After all, this wasn't my body.

_You're right, it's our body, but I could have stopped you. Stop beating yourself up, Whistler. It's because we've been alone so long. Honestly, it's not a surprise. Besides, it's you that he knows, not me._

"What are you thinking about?"

Nimble was up on his elbow, looking over at me.

"Oh, this was my first time, that's all."

His grin came back. "Oh yeah? And how was it?"

"I'm not sure how to answer that one, not having enough data-points and such."

The grin deepened, "Asking for another round?"

I chuckled. "Not now."

The conversation lapsed for a time, and I think I fell back to sleep, because when I came to, he was getting out of bed. He looked down at me and smiled. "You've kept me quite occupied, Tamassran Whistler. It's dinnertime, come on. Let's go lazybones."

We got out of bed and ate. I was back in the soiled robes, but they felt more comfortable now. The woman I was guessing to be Mable served the group. We sat down to eat with Pint. He looked over at the two of us. "So, the two of you certainly took your time in there." His smile telling me he knew what the hold-up had been.

Whistler began to shovel food in while he talked. "Yeah, I've never been good at keeping things quiet."

"I'll say. So what's the deal between you two?"

"Tamassran Whistler will be joining us on our way back. She has business back there."

_Feels weird to be called she again, doesn't it?_

A little, but you know their rules: only women can be Tamassrans.

_I know. It's a stupid rule but what are we going to do?_

Pint removed the spoon from his mouth and gave me a warm smile. "Whistler, I'll value your company on the way back."

"Hey now, not more than I value her, I hope."

"Do I look like a fool?"

"Nope, you look like a dwarf to me."

That made him laugh. "You've got me there, Poker."

It reminded me to ask. "What's with your new nickname?"

"It's not new. When Ben-Hassrath are under cover, we take a spy name. Mine, for some unfathomable reason is Poker." He said while touching his horns, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Should I call you that instead?"

"It doesn't matter."

We continued the meal. Afterwards, I helped them to clean up and break camp. We were heading back towards our Qun encampment. Along the way, we picked up a surprising number of people voluntarily asking to join us.

_Why is that do you think?_

If they've heard the true tales, then they know that the Qun takes care of their people. With them, you never need to worry about a meal, a roof over your head, or your health. Everyone will do that for you.

_I still don't approve wholly of them. Yes, all of what you said is true, but no matter how you cut it, it's slavery. _

This argument again? Besides, if the Qun is the slave master, at least it treats its workers fairly. We've seen far worse.

_True._

Once the camp was broken down, and we were on the road, I began to get nervous. How many days did we have until we got there? I asked Nimble and he gave me a vague answer.

"All depends. We need to stop a few times so who can really say?"

"And then what?"

"We'll talk about it later."

_Will we? I somehow doubt that._

* * *

Better. She was doing so much better since her session of re-education. Finally, she could focus on her duties again as an Athlok. The fields were now running at top efficiency, her class had responded to the teachings, and they were no longer afraid of Viddath-bas. All was in order again. Mayflower made her rounds in the field to ensure that no one was struggling. She saw the young girl, Mouse, hailing her, so she went over.

"Yes, what can I do for you."

"Athlok Mayflower, he is not responding to commands."

She was gesturing to a nearby slender Viddath-bas. He was working diligently, but with no real purpose, digging a hole with his bare hands.

"Are you sure you're doing it correctly?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

She tried for herself, but the man refused to stop on his current task. When she went over to inspect the hole, she found nothing of interest.

"What was the last command you gave him?"

"To assist in transplanting mature crops from this field. I was confused when he didn't grab a shovel. He removed one plant, then continued to dig."

"And how long has he been like this?"

"I'm not sure, Ma'am."

She tried again with her command, but to no effect. The man doggedly continued to dig. Odd, she'd never seen this before. What was wrong? More importantly, what now? She should speak to someone, but whom?

* * *

"And how are you feeling now?"

The Karashok soldier broke off eye contact. "... Better."

Her sigh was sad. "If you do not open up to me in these therapy sessions how can I assist you?"

"Tamassran Red/Green..." He stopped. She'd thought he;d meant to go on, but he didn't.

"I'm elevating your condition to Asala-taar. I will speak to your commander about pulling you off active duty."

"N-no! Don't do that."

"Why not? It's clear you're not adjusting well."

"I can handle it, I just need more time."

"Why do you have such a connection to your position?"

He mumbled something unintelligible.

"Speak up."

"I... I remember you from my division, Red/Green, and what you suffered. This isn't like that. I just need a little more time. Please, won't you help?"

Yes, she did remember him now. What were the right words to tell this man that if he didn't improve soon he'd risk the same thing that she had done? The session ended soon after that.

* * *

It was much harder to travel alone since Rebas left. With two of them they'd been able to effectively watch the roads for ambushes. Maybe he should find a new traveling companion.

Or maybe he should find his old one.

He stopped in the middle of the road. Rebas had worked so hard to get him to go. All of his reasons had been valid, but he'd wanted them to be. Not only had the notion of traveling with an abomination unnerved him, but the man had lost his spirit, so-to-speak. Duncan could see it in the way he moved. He was no longer suited to the life of a hedge mage.

"And I am?"

He looked around to see who spoke, but saw only himself. He had spoken. The road was clear in both directions, so he hunkered against a tree and pressed his eyes closed while he tried to think about this. Hadn't he lost his way as well? Whoever, or whatever, that demon was, he'd not only taken the fire from Rebas, but from himself as well.

Okay, so he could stop being a hedge mage too. With the gold they'd gotten he could easily buy a small plot of land and live off it. Is that what he wanted? He sat and thought for a time longer.

"Maker, take this poor fool."

He got up, turned around, and headed back the way he'd come.


	31. Chapter 31

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 31:**

We sat back at camp while Nimble and Pint looked over some nearby shops. I was absentmindedly stirring the pot of soup while Lucas and I talked.

_Somethings off, Whistler. Can't you feel it?_

I guess a little. But, so what? Does it really matter?

_Yes, it does. Where should I start on this one? Why is Nimble being so kind? I know you two were friends and had feelings for each other, but he knows his duty. Why aren't we in chains? How is it that we can walk around the camp freely without being watched? Why hasn't he told anyone about us._

I don't know, maybe he's just looking after us. He did that when we were kids too, remember? And so what if there's something else going on under the surface? I thought we didn't really care what happened anymore.

Lucas thought that one over while I continued to stir.

_What if he's planning to do something to get you out of trouble that would get him into trouble?_

I stopped stirring.

Such as?

_I don't really know, but doesn't that fit with everything we know so far? He's a kindhearted man, I wouldn't put it past him._

Our thoughts were interrupted by the serving girl. Her smile spoke of simplicity upstairs.

"Need any help?"

"Oh, no thank you."

She stood there, not leaving, and rocked on her feet, obviously wanting to say something, but unwilling to proceed.

"Yes?"

"I'm Mable. Mable Tuppers!"

_Called it!_

The girl went on, "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"What's it like in the Qun?" She was mispronouncing Qun.

"Why do you ask, Mable?"

"Because I want to join them. Everyone's always calling me a fool, I wanted to make sure they were good kind people."

"Well, Mable, they are; but you might not agree with everything they do."

"Like what?"

_Are we really going to spend time explaining Qun culture to her?_

Yes, after all, this is part of what a Tamassran does.

I went over things, making sure to keep it simple to understand. Even so, there were some ideas that refused to click in her head.

"Why you dressed that way. You're a man, I can tell."

"Yes, but the role I fill can only be held by a woman."

"But you ain't one."

_She's a sharp one..._

I tried to explain it, but the poor girl struggled the whole way there. It was like an uphill battle. Thankfully, Nimble and Pint came back, saving me from explaining for the third time why she must learn to give up her name.

"Having fun, Whistler?"

"Just preparing some of our converts for what's to come."

"Can you spare me a moment?"

"Sure."

I walked away from the girl and followed him back to his tent. Pint joined us. When inside, they took a small bundle carefully out of a pack and laid each delicately in their own box. A closer look showed me that they were weapons of various kinds. One in particular caught my eye, it was a thin rapier with a green gem just below the hand-guard. I didn't comment on them, knowing what it meant. After the last one was sealed and wrapped, Nimble dismissed Pint with a slap on the back.

"We did good work today. Thanks. I need a word with the Tamassran. Can you please leave us?"

His eyebrow shot up. "Is it a word like before?"

"No."

Sensing something different about him, Pint left, leaving the two of us sitting quietly. Since he seemed unwilling to start the conversation, I did.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes."

I waited. Still, nothing. Again, I prompted him. "Do you need my assistance with something?"

He crossed his big arms and sighed. "Yes, I do. I'm just not sure how to go about asking it correctly, without breaking our laws. I... to ask means to put you at risk."

_This might be the end of the road for us. _

Yes.

He went on, "Right now, I'm tasked with the retrieval of fallen Qun soldiers blades."

I nodded. "I thought so."

"Yeah, well we've discovered the camp of raiders that attacked us a while back. They struck during a storm, drawing off the main forces by burning a barrack where we kept the incoming children. They were already scared enough as it was, but the fire threw them into a panic. Most soldiers ran to protect them and ensure none were left inside. The bandits main force swept the remaining soldiers left behind."

_Like the bandits we were with. Their plan involved lighting a barn on fire to draw the guards, remember?_

It must be a common tactic they use.

_Sounds like it. _

Nimble continued. "We suffered many casualties and those bastards made off with their souls. It's unforgivable. Anyway, we just got intel from our scout that they're camped nearby. It would be the perfect time to strike back."

"Okay, I'm following so far. Where do I come in at?"

Nimble became uneasy again, looking anywhere but at me. "Well, they have the numbers over us right now. I could send for reinforcements, but they'd likely be gone by the time they got here. We need to strike now. I-well..." But he couldn't go on.

"You need my magic?"

"... Yes, I do. There are too many of them. If I had the assistance of a-a Saarebas... we might be able to tip the scales in our favor."

"I'm willing to help, why the concern?"

His gaze flitted back and forth between me and the tent flap. "Even with your powers combined with my skill, there's too many of them. We have no hope of it alone. I'd need more swords. We have men here that can fight, but..."

The copper coin dropped in my head.

"But, they'd see me casting magic and know that I was a Saarebas, right?"

"Right. But there's no other way. We cannot leave them where they are. Not only are they the worst kind of slave trader, those who specialize in souls, but we may never get this opportunity again. We have the advantage and I mean to slaughter them all. Whistler, I need your help."

_Yes, I'm beginning to see his dilemma have to help him, regardless of the outcome. We owe it to them for killing those two soldiers. Neither of us thought to return their souls to the tribe. Not only that, but acting in this way might help offset the bad things we've done. _

You're right, and if we prove useful perhaps they'll see that we still have a place in the Qun, that we want to be a part of it again.

_It would mean being restrained. I'm okay with that if you are, but we should probably tell him about "us", don't you think? He has a right to know. After we tell him, he might not want our help, do you still want that?_

Yes, I do.

Nimble must have interpreted our silence as hesitation. "You don't have to agree to do it if you don't want to."

"No, you're misreading the situation. It's not that at all."

"Then what is it?"

_Do it now, it's not going to get any easier with time._

I took in a deep breath of air. "There's something I need to tell you. Remember when we were kids and I told you about the voice in my head, well it has a name: Lucas. See he's the person I was before I became a member of the Qun."

"W-what? How? Are you sure of it? If so, it sounds like something a Tamassran could fix."

"Quite possibly, but that's not all. The dominant voice inside me, the one you're speaking to right now, isn't human."

There was no reply.

"Whistler is, and always was, a spirit possessing the body of Lucas."

More silence. This time I waited it out.

"You're saying that you've been possessed?"

"Yes."

"And have been ever since I've known you."

"... Yes."

I wanted to say more, but Lucas stopped me.

_Let him think about this. It's a lot to take in. And whatever happens, happens._

He rested his forehead on his fist. "But, Lucas, the human, is still in there?"

"Yes, he is."

The quiet continued on. It was hard to keep my mouth shut, but I managed, with an effort.

"Are you a demon?"

I thought back to the one we'd encountered, Zio.

"I don't think so, no. I don't restrain him. When he wants to speak and act, I let him. We share this body and I ask nothing in return of him. If I knew how to, I would leave this body, but I can't. Either way, you're talking to an abomination."

I saw his hand drift to his belt, his fingers wrapping around the sheathed blade. I took no actions to run. Instead, I sat still and waited.


	32. Chapter 32

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 32:**

For a long, long moment, nothing happened. Both of them sat there, facing each other. It was Nimble who broke the spell first.

"So, you admit to being an abomination?"

"I do. I didn't choose to be, but that makes me no less one."

Again, his gaze drifted to the tent flap. This time, I spoke.

"You needn't worry. If you decide to kill me, I'll take no actions to protect myself. Neither of us will."

His blade came out of the sheath and he held it between us, as if to show us that he had one. I watched has he grazed the tip of his thumb against the blade. The gesture seemed to mean something, but I wasn't sure what.

"If I asked you to," He began "would you do it yourself?"

"I'm hoping you won't."

"And if I did, would you?"

We hesitated, Lucas and I, only a fraction of a moment. "Yes."

He sat the blade down in front of us. "Pick it up."

_A test?_

Might not be...

We picked it up.

"Put it to your throat."

I was breathing hard and my heart beat was irregular, but we did so. From somewhere inside my head, the words of the demon came back to me: I'll leave you... for now, but a day might come when you need me. If it ever does, simply speak my name aloud and I shall appear. It's Zio. Don't forget it.

_No! Never. We knew the possible consequences of our actions coming her. _

You're right.

We made eye contact with him, hardly drawing a breath.

"What if I were to tell you I wanted you to cut open your own throat?"

I was scared, but also somewhat angry. It's fine if he wanted us dead, but enough games. "Stop this. You either order me to do it, or you don't. Which is it?"

Nimble closed his eyes and let his body slump. "Put the blade down."

I returned the blade between us and kept my feelings in check. "Is this what a Ben-Hassrath has to do or are you just enjoying making me fear you?"

"It was needed. By your own admission, you have two beings inside you. I had to make sure that both were willing to listen to orders. One of you is Qun, the other is not."

"Yes, and the one that's Qun is the Spirit."

"You know," he began. "When the men see you casting magic I will have no alternative but to place you in chains, right?"

"I know. Do what you must. I've made up my mind."

He made no comment to this.

I took a breath and switched mental gears. "So, when are we doing this raid?"

"Tonight."

"Good."

I got up and walked out of the tent without another word. We could talk about the mission after I had time to cool off.

* * *

I was crouched down on the west side of the bandits' encampment, alone. The plan was for me to attack when I deemed the time ready. That call was left to me. The Qunari warriors would follow my lead. They were not, however, told what they would be following. None yet knew about me, besides Nimble. The wait was all the more agonizing for it as I knew after it was over, they'd all turn on me.

_Should we talk about what happened back in the tent? _

Why? Will it help us on our mission?

_Not really. Still, I'm surprised you agreed to do this in the first place. I thought you didn't want to kill._

I don't, and won't. My magic will be used to restrain the men only. The Qunari will do the rest.

_But your actions condemn them to death._

No, it was their own actions that did that. We agreed to this, remember?

_Yes, I do. I'm just worried that this goes against your nature. You're a spirit of compassion, right? Wouldn't that turn you into something monstrous? _

I stopped and thought about it. He was right. If I continued to justify my actions in this way I would become something like, well, like Zio. Maybe he too started out with good intentions? I wondered if all demons were spirits that told themselves what they wanted to hear until they no longer recognized themselves. Lucas watched my train of thought and jumped in to throw the mental brakes.

_If that happens, I'll wrestle control back from you, or end it for both of us._

Thanks.

_Now let's focus. If we're going to do this, let's do it. We can worry about us later. Ditto Nimble._

He and I refocused on the camp. Men were still milling about. Likely a few of them would remain awake through the night to act as guards, but most would sleep. It couldn't be much longer. The men consumed enough alcohol to make them mellow, and mellow men held up heavy eyelids. Empty bottles and barrels littered their camp like cockroaches. There were also the occasional sounds of camp followers as they dallied with the men.

_They might be hurt in the raid._

Possibly, but they might also be taken to the Qun. For women like them, it's probably for the best. None will have a future past their thirtieth year. It's a young woman's game. The old starve.

_Sounds like you're trying to justify our actions..._

I don't think they need justification.

_Then why are you working so hard to convince me? _

I said nothing, but went back to watching the men. It was almost time, I could tell. Less and less noise came from the camp. Now was the time to strike.

Last call. We're taking this action together. Do you agree with it?

_Yes, do you?_

... yes.

_Then let's do this. Switch me places and let's see if we can do like we did with the Templars._

The wall flipped, allowing Lucas free-will. His hands dug deep into the earth and I began to whistle. The effect was immediate. The laughs of a nearby woman turned suddenly to shrieks. Voices were raised in confusion and anger as they were wrapped in webs of roots and vines. We watched it unfold from our vantage point. The Qun men came in and tore through them like wet tissue paper. They didn't stand a chance.

_This is what we wanted, right?_

These men stole the souls of Qunari warriors and meant to profit from them. Good men don't do that. These men chose death.

I got no reply. I allowed Lucas full control over the body. This would likely be our last taste of freedom and I wanted him to enjoy it. We focused on the cleanup that was happening. Everything had gone with ease, so much so that only two of our soldiers received wounds, and those only slight and easy to treat. From what I could tell, the women were not attacked, but herded back to camp. I remained where I was, knowing they'd come for me eventually, and they did. Nimble walked in front as four men followed closely behind. Now he must be a leader and do what was expected of him.

"Tamassran Whistler." Said Nimble formally.

I stood and acknowledged them.

"You have practiced magic, making you a Saarebas: a dangerous thing. Do you have any explanation for your actions?"

"These men were traitors to everything the Qun believed in. I could not let them go unpunished. I have no excuse for my use of magic."

His arms folded over his bare chest. "Then you admit to practicing a forbidden art?"

"Yes."

"You will be taken into custody by these men. If you resist, they will kill you. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"I formally strip you of your rank as Tamassran. From now on, you will be Saarebas."

My throat grew tight, but no one expected me to reply. They came forward. Each took hold of one of an arm as I was led back to the camp. I neither resisted nor made any comment. This was the choice I made.

_No, this is the choice we made, Whistler._

Thanks for being on my side.

It was hard not to feel shame as they measured our wrists for shackles. Not one of them spoke to me as they fitted them snugly over my hands. Once done, they spoke about a mask, but didn't have sufficient materials to make one. Instead, they placed a sack over my head with slits for eyes and my mouth. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but I did. What other choice did I have?


	33. Chapter 33

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 33:**

_They treat the whores better than they treat us._

Hush. We knew this was coming. Besides, I bet not a one of them has so much as a drop of magic in their teats.

_Did you just make a joke?_

It's either laugh or cry right now. I prefer the former.

Both he and I broke out in a strange cackle. The sound traveled through the silence and men came over to check on the deranged Saarebas. What must they think when they saw us? What a sight we must have made, sitting there, shackled with a burlap sack over our face. Indeed, we were a dangerous thing. They made no comment. We did likewise.

_Nimble hasn't come to see us. _

Did you expect him to?

_I guess not._

We lapsed back into silence. The bag over our head made us sweat. It also made us strangely sleepy. We drifted for a time. I was gently shaken back to consciousness. When I looked up, a man held a plate of food in front of me. "We have dinner for you, Saarebas. Would you care for some?"

I nodded. Behind him stood Mable, wringing her hands.

_Wonder what's got her so upset._

Not sure.

The man took the sack off and the blessed breeze played across our face. It was heaven. He stood a short distance away and monitored our every move. From what I could tell, we were eating the same meal the others were.

_At least they did us the courtesy of that and not gruel. He also spoke kindly to us, even knowing what we are._

They see magic as a sort of terminal illness. We're a patient that will never get better. Despite what others think, they aren't monsters.

_Yes, I can see that now._

When we finished, the man took the plate from us. There was a long moment where the two of us just stared at each other. "... If you promise not to say or do anything, I will leave the bag off as I stand guard."

"Is that permitted? Will it get you into trouble?"

"I don't believe it will."

"Then yes, please leave the bag off. I'll take no action."

The man nodded, sat against a crate, and watched us.

_Why so much kindness? _

They're good people who strive for the best. All they want is for everyone to work together.

_I know they aren't what everyone makes them out to be, but that's not how they behaved when it was just me._

I caught flashes of disjointed images. All of them had strong emotions of fear and anger attached.

Show me.

As I sat there, he did so, the memories so vivid that everything around me disappeared as we became immersed in it.

* * *

Father conjured glowing images from nothing, knowing this always amused me. I clapped on and he continued.

"Will I be able to do that one day too?"

"I think so. You take after me."

The light show continued, and they lit up the night sky. I was buoyant with excitement and let out little whoops. Suddenly, there were many sounds coming from the woods as unknown men poured into the clearing. Two of them had horns on their heads and grim expressions on their faces. None of their weapons were drawn, but hands rested on hilts as they looked on.

"Put the staff down, mage, and surrender quietly. We don't want to hurt you or the child."

Dad stood his ground. "And why would I listen to murderers?"

So these men were bad? I should help him. Maybe I can push them back. I have to try.

The big one stood statue still, "We mean you no harm, but we cannot let you remain as you are. You will stand down, or we will make you stand down."

Dad looked over at me, his staff shaking it air between us and them. He needed help.

I ran forward and flailed my fists in the air. "Stop it! Go away. Leave us alone."

The big horned man came forward and picked me up off the ground with one hand. I kicked and screamed, but couldn't break free.

"Lucas?! Let him go. Take me if you want, but let him go free, he's done nothing wrong."

I continued to thrash. They'd hurt dad and I if I didn't. I could take him. From the corner of my eye, I saw him walking forward empty-handed. More men came and restrained him. He looked over, his face guilty.

I clawed at his hand with all y strength. "No, stop. Don't!"

The men didn't listen, and we were hauled off and put with others.

* * *

There had been other little boys and girls in the room with me, all of them around my age, but when the man came and offered them food in exchange for being let out to listen, they went with him. I didn't. Now all that remained was a small jug and basin, a rug, and bare wood-paneled walls. The man came in the room again, a tray of food in his hands and a smile on his face. "Are you ready to listen to reason, little Imekari?"

"Where's dad?!"

His voice, always so calm, spoke softly to me. "He has heard the voice of reason and become one with us."

"No!"

"Yes. Come, eat. Listen to what I have to say."

"Never, not until dad comes for me. He will! I know it. He said he'd never leave me after mom became a star in the sky."

His head dipped. "I see. I am sorry for her."

"Don't be, she watches over us now, just like dad will."

He set the tray down and patted the spot across from him. "Come, listen and allow your mind to be put at ease. You can eat as much as you want. All I ask is that you let me speak."

My stomach twisted in knots. How many days had it been now? No matter, I just need to wait a little longer. Dad will be here any moment.

"No!"

"If you insist. I'll come again soon."

He picked up the tray and made for the door. My conviction began to waiver.

"Can you-will you leave me some food?"

He turned his head slightly, "Food will come when you are ready to listen. You can have all you want if you'll listen. Will you open your ears to me?"

My anger flashed again. "No!"

He left without another word. I'll eat after dad comes for me.

* * *

I lay on the scratch carpet in the room. My mouth and lips were so dry. No matter how many times I tried, they never stayed wet. Worse were what dad called the hunger demons inside me. They called out for something, anything to satisfy them, but I had nothing. The man came less and less frequently now. It both made me happy and sad. He scared me with his pointed horns, but never made to run me through like I'd heard a bull could do. The pains were getting worse, and I panted with exertion as I fought against them. The door opened, and he'd returned, his hands full with a heavy tray.

"Little Imekari, are you ready to hear me?"

I made to speak, but my breath caught in my throat and I exploded out with dry coughs. I tried to stop, but didn't have the strength for it. the main waited patiently.

"C-can I have some water, please?"

"Are you willing to hear and listen?"

"... where's dad?"

"He has heard sense and reason. There's still time for you. Come, sit with me. All I ask is for you to listen as I speak, you can even eat and drink while I talk."

Why not? How much longer could I hold out? I thought about it. No, dad's coming for me. He'll protect me from these murderers. I just have to believe in him.

"Send my dad to me. If he comes and speaks to me, I'll listen."

"I cannot do that. He is no longer your dad. He is a member of the community now. Come, sit with me, Imekari. Stop this nonsense. You make the maraas imekari. Put away your anger."

"... Send me dad, and I w-will."

A look of such concern crossed his face. It made no sense.

"The kata cannot be far off child, please, hear me."

My silence was my only reply.

"I will come again tomorrow. I hope you will allow me to speak then."

Still, I said nothing. He sighed and got up, taking the tray with him. Another man stood in the doorway, and they conversed in low tones. Much of it was full of their unfamiliar words.

My captor spoke in a whisper, "Can't we use any other methods on him?"

"He's too young. And to use the qamek would be a cruelty."

"And this is not?"

"Calm yourself, Ben-Hassrath, everyone is given a choice, even a child. He is choosing his path."

"He doesn't have much longer."

"I know."

The two men left me there. I let my head drop to the floor. All I had to keep me company were my own hunger pangs and thirst. I did my best to muffle my cries, but they came out anyway. I just need to hold out a little longer. He'll come, I know he will. I have faith in him.

* * *

I was in the room all alone. The only way I had of marking time was by the horned mans visits. My eyes burned, but no tears came. Why hadn't he come? I need him, now more than I ever have. The demons in my stomach quieted and I no longer felt thirsty, but this seemed somehow bad. I hardly had the strength to draw a single breath.

The big man mentioned the Kata, did that mean death? Would mom and I end up as stars in the sky together? It would be nice to see her again, I hardly remembered her at all.

When is dad coming? How much longer can he be?

Help me, please, someone. Help...

* * *

I knew what came next... and it was I that shown him what happened.

* * *

I came to in a state of great confusion. My body felt sore all over, and I was so weak that the exertion of turning my head left my entire body shaking. Where was this place? Slowly, I pulled myself to the door and used the last of my strength to knock. A man I didn't know with horns on his head opened it and stood there.

"Help me, please." I begged.

"Will you listen to the voice of reason, Imekari?"

"Y-yes, please help me. I'll listen."

He left the door open and walked away. When he came back with a tray of food and water I nearly fainted at the smells. How long had it been? His hands lifted me as if I were a rag doll and set me against the wall. It took his assistance to get the first sips of water and bites of food down. I thanked him, so grateful I could hardly put my feelings into words. As I took over eating, he spoke about where we were, what his role was, and what was expected of me. I listened to the words with rapt attention. When he stopped speaking, I asked him to continue. This pleased him.

"I am glad to see you so interested and attentive. It pleases me to see your turn-around."

I didn't know what he meant, but was too weak to bring it up. I was just glad someone was looking after me. Everything felt so strange, even my own body.

"What's my name?"

"It matters not Imekari. We will give you one. That is the first step. Let go of your past."

It was a relief to hear him say it, as I wasn't even sure how I'd gotten here. Everything would be fine now, all I had to do was listen and do as I was told.

* * *

Reality came back to both of us gradually. Feeling coursed between both of us, so powerful that they drove everything else from us. We found that we'd been crying at the recollection. The man watched us silently, but with a look of compassion on his face.

_So, that's what happened. You saved us when I was too stubborn._

It wasn't right what they did to you.

_No, it wasn't, but they were right. Everyone has a choice in the matter. I'd put my faith in my dad. None of it really matters anymore._

The man across from us got up and handed us a small piece of scrap cloth. I thanked him and mopped at my eyes. At that moment, I wasn't sure what we felt. The Qunari had been both cruel and kind to us, just as they were being now.

_Yes, but despite all that, it's our home, and the world outside of the Qun is no better. At least here we know the rules. _

And so he and I sat there, happy to have the bag off our face and to know what'd lead us here and made us who we were.


	34. Chapter 34

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 34:**

We'd walked for two days now, getting closer and closer to home. I'd spent the time chained to Nimble, and he didn't get his nickname for taking sedate stroll through the woods. He set a brisk pace that I had a hard time keeping up with. Still, neither of us vocalized our complaints, to him. For the moment, we were talking a quick rest in a clearing. We, of course, were kept far away from the group. Nimble had his back turned to us. He hadn't spoken a word to us that wasn't a command since the night he'd had us fitted for chains.

_He's getting on my nerves._

Yeah, mine too. Thank anyone above who's willing to listen that he let us keep the sack off.

After we'd tripped and fallen for the fifth time, he decided it was more trouble than it was worth.

_It's not much, but I suppose we should be thankful for that. I don't get it. If he's so angry, why not kill us? He has all the justification he needs._

Who can say? Maybe it's payback for not saying it before we'd become... intimate.

_I hope it's not as bad as we think. Saarebas are still considered part of the Qun, right? _

Yes, they have their part in battles. Likely, we'll be made to fight if a war comes.

_Let's hope one doesn't come then._

In the back of our heads, both of us still thought of an alternative. If things got too bad, we could always call Zio...

_Why do we keep thinking about that? We know what he is, and yet we both keep thinking about it._

I sure hope it's just you and me in here.

That made him pause.

_He did enter our minds. What if a part of him never left? _

That made us go cold to the core. Best not to dwell on that.

It would explain why we can't seem to shake his name.

_Yeah, and I've been trying. Whatever happens, we cannot speak it aloud._

Agreed. Whatever he says, he IS a demon, and he'll only bring suffering down everyone around us

"Come on, back to it." Said Nimble, motioning the group to continue. He turned to me. "Let's go, on your feet."

We continued our march down the road. The terrain grew smoother, and for a time Lucas and I worried that he might put the bag back over our head, but Nimble was doing his best to ignore him. We walked on in silence. From the corner of my eye, I caught Mable talking with Pint. She kept shooting us looks. Pint saw this, but chose to not to comment.

_I wish she'd stop. _

Ignore her. Come on, the walk, or should I say trot, will keep us occupied. It can't be much longer.

_Yes, but until what? _

I had no reply for him.

* * *

Finally, Duncan had managed to locate the group less than a week ago. You'd think a group their size wouldn't be hard to follow, but they were. They kept a fast pace, but he had a trick or two up his sleeve that helped. After all, you didn't become a Hedge Mage without picking up things along the way. Since it was just him now, he had no fear of being judged for the use of his own blood to aid him. Besides, it wasn't like he was using it to hurt anyone, far from it.

He could see Rebas, chained to a big Vashoth. He didn't appear to be hurt. There were others in the party, some Qunari, some either captives or willing converts. He even thought he spotted some camp followers. Did the Qunari use them, or were they slated to become part of the tribe? What role would a whore be able to fill? He shook his head and set the irrelevant question to the side for further pondering later. And any way, he thought he already knew the answer. When they were willing to offer free food and shelter to anyone who joined them, well... it was hard for some of those without to resist such a promise. Food, water, shelter, and a job: you'd be hard-pressed to find a better deal for a great number of the people in Thedas.

It was good that he could keep up with them, but it was even better that he'd managed to make a contact ion the inside. When the simple-looking girl went off into the woods to attend to business, Duncan had hailed her, scaring the poor creature nearly out of her senses.

"W-who are you? Did mistress send you after me?"

"What? No, I'm Duncan. I only want to talk, don't be frightened."

"So you're not here to take me back to that horrible place where all I ever got was put down?"

"No, I'm not. I promise I won't take you back or harm you, see?"

He held his empty hands up to her.

"If you ain't here for that then why are you here?"

"I want to talk. I know you're with the Qunari. I want to ask you about them. That's all."

"Is that how you say it. I never get things like that right. I keep calling em' Canareh. How you say it again?"

He repeated it to her.

"Thanks, I'll try to remember. What's you want to know?"

"They have a mage with them in chains, what can you tell me about him?"

"They was calling him a 'her' before they locked him in chains. I asked him about it, but his answer didn't make any sense. How can a man be a woman when he's still got dangly bits?"

He chuckled, forgetting what Rebas had told him about the ways that Qunari viewed roles in their society. "What else?"

"They have him in chains and locked to a guard. He's under the eye of some big-wig. I don't know his name though."

"Anything else?"

"Nothing that makes any sense. They call him somethin', but I can't remember what."

He scratched his chin, thinking if there was anything else he could learn from her. "Do they hit him?"

"No. They're just as nice to him as they are to me. Weird, that, now that I come to think of it."

"What would you say to acting as a spy for me?"

The girl clutched her chest as her eyes opened wide. "I don't want no trouble mister. All's I want is to be treated proper."

"I think you're smarter than you let on."

The girl blushed. "Oh go on, I know about men like you."

"And you're prettier when you smile like that. What rosy red cheeks you have."

The girl fell all over herself after that. She wanted to tell him her life story, but he urged her to go back and listen. He'd be following close, and the next time she went off on her own, he'd be there to talk. The girl ran off, leaving him alone.

This might have been a mistake. The girl, Mable, wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. Likely, she'd either get him caught or get herself killed, but he had to try something. It was clear things hadn't gone as planned. Rebas had been there for him multiple times, now it was his turn. He wasn't going to let him be executed, or worse. It didn't matter that he was an abomination, at the end of the day he was his friend. That had to count for something, right?


	35. Chapter 35

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 35:**

We'd stopped for our last break of the day. The rain had stopped and started at intermittent points throughout the day, making the journey a slog. Right now, it had returned for its seventh encore of the day. We were all soaked and peoples tempers were beginning to show. The dwarf, Pint, was getting annoyed with Mable, I could tell even from this distance that he was exasperated.

"Again?" He asked testily, his voice carrying.

"It runs right through me, I swear it."

"You'll have to learn to drop such a high degree of modesty when we get back. It does no service to the Qunari to have such a need for privacy."

I couldn't hear what she said, but the man waived her away, clearly dismissing her. The girl ran off into the woods. I watched, letting my mind coast in neutral.

_What's up?_

I don't know. I just feel like somethings off. I'm not sure what, but there's something not quite right about this. Maybe it's where we are, or maybe it's the people, but something's out of place.

_You think somethings wrong with Pint or Mable? Pint, maybe. He seems testy. Mable... The girl's as bright as a moonless night. She can stir a kettle and serve food, anything else is probably beyond her. _

Don't be mean.

_I'm not. I'm being honest. If somethings off, then it has to be Pint. He's clever, we should keep an eye on him._

I might be overeating.

_Never doubt your intuition. _

Nearby, Nimble paced back and forth, his fingers drumming on the side of his biceps.

_I guess everyone's a little on edge today._

Probably because we're so close.

I watched as Nimble walked under a nearby tree, braced his pal against it, and cradled his head in his hands. On impulse, I called out to him, "What's up?"

He looked over, surprised. I thought he'd ignore me; instead, he walked in my direction. I was chained to another soldier.

"I'll take shift, Karashok. Transfer the chains to me. You grab a break."

The man nodded, and did as he was asked. Now he and I stood off to the side, alone.

He broke the silence with a question. "Whistler, do you feel anything... off?"

"Using my name? I thought I was Saarebas?"

"You are."

"And you're actually speaking to me."

"If you're looking for an apology, you won't get one. I did my duty to the Qun, Kadan or not." He paused as the phrase sunk in, but I had no time to dwell on it. "But I'm... I don't know, sensing something, and I think the others are too. Do you feel anything?"

"Actually, yes. I do. There's something, but I can't place what it is. For all I know it could just be the rain."

"What's your gut telling you?"

I thought for a bit, weighing everything. "My gut's saying that it's something more, maybe to do with one of the people here or something around us." I scanned the surrounding area, but nothing seemed amiss.

Nimble made a sound in the back of his throat. "I thought so. I'm going to do rounds, you're coming with me."

"Why me?"

"Because you are Saarebas, and have a use. You'll assist if we encounter something dangerous."

My face twisted. "You mean more dangerous than me?"

His eyes narrowed and he drew closer. I took a step back, a feudal gesture when you're chained to the man coming towards you. "I already told you, Saarebas, Whistler. Whatever feelings I had towards you cannot be expressed anymore. Not only are you a mage, but you admit to possession as well. If I were a stronger man," He broke off for a moment, looking away. "I'd have struck you down by now, but I'm not. I can't bring myself to do it or to put you in a position to do it yourself. Now please, can't we leave it at that? I have a responsibility to the Qun, do not ask more of me."

I fumbled for something to say back to him, but had nothing. He'd called us Kadan, admitting to strong emotions, and as good as said they were still there. He also wanted me to die.

_Let's stop pushing the issue. It's only hurting him. He wants to remain loyal to the Qun. We would serve only to tempt him from that. And wasn't our whole purpose to return our self to face judgement? Drop it. _

I did so, and we followed Nimble into the woods. An uncomfortable silence hung between us, not surprising really. The rain continued to fall as we swept the nearby forest. Nothing seemed off, and yet my feelings persisted, something WAS there, but what?

_Maybe if we reached out to Zio-_

Both he and I threw the mental brakes. No. Why would we need him. At worst, there were bandits out here. We could easily handle them.

_I didn't dredge up that name, it just sort of came._

Why?

_I don't know. I'm concerned. I wasn't thinking about that, and yet the name keeps coming back. What's wrong with us?!_

Something, clearly, I just don't know what. One thing's certain, we aren't telling Nimble about this.

_I agree. He'd kill us if he heard about Zio. Maybe we could use that to our advantage when we call out-_

We both stopped our gears so effectively that we rooted our feet to the ground. The chain extended and Nimble ended up pulling us off our feet.

"What are you doing?"

I was so out of sorts that lost my train of thought. "Nothing, I just got tangled up. Sorry."

He rolled his eyes. "We're almost done. Just keep up a little longer." Then he turned and walked at a slower pace that he felt we could maintain.

_I feel like it's only a matter of time before we speak his name aloud. I can't seem to help myself. _

Nor I. It might be best if the Qunari decide to put us down, especially if an unseen force is at work. I wish He would have just ordered us to do if he couldn't.

_We could still do it. Something's clearly wrong with us, and it's only getting worse. It's almost like some kind of infection's taken hold. If we acted quickly-_

With what weapon? I'm sure there are other options, but none easily done.

The rain came down even harder. It helped to distract from the strange chant in the back of our minds. As if it sensed our resistance and wanted to mock us all the harder, it only got louder: Zio, Zio, Zio.

_That's not me._

I know. I think we've got someone else in here with us. A third. Switch me places.

The mental wall flipped and I did my best to scour our mind for the source. The only problem was that I couldn't be sure what I was looking for. How could you track a disembodied voice through something that had neither shape, space, or any real sense of time?

_Any luck._

None, and it's only getting worse. I can feel something taking hold inside. How are we holding up out there?

_I'm doing my best. Keep searching. Try looking for anything emanating a lavender light. Remember, that's what his mind was filled with._

Good idea!

I looked all around, and thought maybe I sensed... something. I couldn't see it, but I felt something from inside of me. It was a sense of dread, maybe the same one that everyone else around me had felt. Was it all coming from me? I tried to investigate, but it was like trying to read a language you didn't know. Where were you to start?

The raised voice of Nimble broke our concentration. "Hey, you there!"

Both of us looked up to see some figures off in the distance, two of them. Both had been in motion, but froze. Nimble unsheathed his sword. "In the name of the Qun, hold your position."

One shifted slightly. Nimble took off running, but was hampered by us. We tried our best, but mostly acted as a ball and chain to him. One froze like a deer in headlights, while the other pulled back, drawing some kind of weapon. He saw this and bellowed, "I said hold position!"

We were close now, and I saw that the frozen one was Mable. The other was... I took a closer look and involuntarily shouted out his name, "Duncan!"

He held his staff out between us, but his face split in a grin. "Rebas! I found you. Don't worry buddy, I've come back."

The girl made to run. Nimble saw and held his blade out, daring her to try. She didn't. Everyone was at a standstill, waiting for the other to make the first move.

No, not more bloodshed. Why does it always come down to this?

_We have to stop them!_

Zio. All we have to do is say his name. It's simple, see? I'll even help your lips to form the words.

_Stop it! Leave us! This isn't your body._

That's not me! I can feel him, he's inside, but I can't force him out. He's too strong!

I felt our lips begin to move, the rain running down my face and into my mouth as the unseen puppeteer pulled our mental strings. "Z-"

_No!_


	36. Chapter 36

_Please be warned that this chapter depicts scenes of a violent graphic nature. You have been warned._

* * *

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 36:**

Nimble's yell once again shook us out of our trance. "I said stand down, Mage. Drop your Saartoh-bas and cast none of your foul magic. I feel your aura emanating all the way over here!"

Duncan stood his ground. "That's not me. I am no threat to you, unless you force me to act. I'm here to rescue my friend, Rebas."

"He is Saarebas. We are taking him back. You have no right to him." He shook one of our chains.

Duncan spit in the dirt nearby. "And you do? Seems to me that he's no better than a slave."

Inside our head was madness. Three voices screamed over top each other as we scrambled to control the body. I'm not sure what we looked like from the outside, but in my head a light purple haze began to encroach in. As it came nearer, I saw it for the color it was: Lavender, the color of Zio.

Stop this attack. You have no right to be in our mind.

His voice stopped pretending to be either me or Lucas, and took back on that horrible rasp as it spoke. **Oh, but I have every right. I tried to play fair, gently reminding you of my existence, but you refused to listen. You hold hatred and fear towards me, and would never speak my name aloud. I can help, yet you scorn me.**

_And rightly so! You've come into our mind without permission. We do not need you._

**I think you do. Just look at what's about to happen.**

Nimble was preparing to lunge. "This is your last warning. Drop the staff and surrender."

His staff was held steady, he didn't waiver. "I won't. I can feel it just like you, and it isn't me. If it's not me, then it must be you, foul being."

No, it's us! Look over here. The monsters inside me. That evil's coming from inside us. Lucas, we have to stop this. They'll kill each other.

**Simply stop resisting and let me speak my name aloud. I can solve all of this. **

_Violence isn't the answer, you'll bring down only destruction._

The lavender mist moved in faster and began to coalesce into something. **Watch your words, Human! If I wanted death and destruction all I needed to do was come and reign it down. It'd be easy in my body. Do you think I need your permission to take a life? You humans, you're so pathetic. No, I want you to want my help. **

_Liar, you want to force us out and claim another host._

**Such big words, but I know the best word of all, and soon I'll speak it aloud. You can't hold me back forever. **

I threw myself at him, doing all I could to fight. Neither of us had a bodily form, but it made the battle no less vicious. Instead of swords and magic, this battle was fought with will, and I tore at him like a savage beast.

I voice called out from the woods behind us. "Nimble, where are you?"

It was Pint. He had a small hand-ax with him. He took in the scene with one glance and stood beside Nimble, readying for a fight.

My resistance waned. I was sure that any moment blood would be spilled and I'd lose all control, giving Zio the time he needed to speak his name. Even now, my lips moved of their own accord, wordlessly, mouthing one word over and over again. I wrenched control back and held my breath, refusing to give the body any air to speak.

**You cannot outlast me, spirit. Give in, I promise my intention isn't to force you out, but to assist. **

I didn't listen. Lucas cheered me on, urging us to somehow collapse and die on the spot rather than be taken by this monster. If only the surrounding people would attack me, they'd be alright. If not, his evil might tear them to pieces. No one looked my way.

"So be it." Said Nimble, then he charged.

**Any moment now...**

Lucas and I watched with horror as we were drug into the fray. Pint and Nimble took swipes at Duncan, their blows making it clear they meant to kill or maim. He was fast and had magic on his side, but wouldn't last long, not with the way he was expending mana. To make it worse, Mable had dropped to the ground with her hands over her head, cowering. One careless swipe or misplaced spell and the girl would be no more.

Through all this, my lips moved and my lungs burned, crying out for a breath of air, just one; but to do so would damn us all.

**Trust me, I won't hurt anyone.**

_Don't listen to him, Whistler, keep going._

The purple mist was upon us in our head, just as suffocating in its own way as holding my breath. All the while blow after blow came hammering down on Duncan's shield, his face showing his exhaustion. He couldn't last. None of this could last. My tongue flailed about with the unspoken word.

I felt a flash of insight from Lucas. Got it! _Stick out our tongue and bite through it! If we die, then at least we win._

His voice grated with anger and fear. **Fools!**** Don't. I mean to solve this and all other dilemma's you face. Listen to me. Let me in.**

He tried, but failed to get possession of our body again. It was mine. I forced my tongue out and, without allowing myself to think about it, clamped my jaws together with an audible click accompanied by sound of meat being bitten into. It was as if some had heated a gauntlet red-hot, reached in our mouth, and tore into our tongue. The pain was blinding, and the lavender mist receded in its place. My mouth flooded with a thick coppery fluid as the useless flesh that had been our tongue swing loosely from a few stands of flesh and connective tissue. Blood ran down the back of our throat as the three of us chocked on it: two of us with relish, the third with a cold fury. Through all of this, we managed to alert no one else to our plan. They were too busy anyway.

_Yes, choke, choke on it!_

**You're both imbeciles! We could have worked together! You've killed us!**

Hard_ to say a name with no tongue. I'd say we win this_ one. His tone clearly smug and mocking.

Involuntarily, I coughed up the fiery red liquid. It splattered onto the four people in front of us. The act was enough to pull them off each other. I turned from them and covered my mouth as best I could but nothing could hide the fluid running through my hands. They all cried out, not even bothering to use words.

Zio ripped control from us. Lucas and I were all too glad to give it up now that he had no way to speak. Let him have the responsibility of pain for whatever remaining time our body had. We waited behind the mental wall for the end to come.

_I'm sorry it had to come down this way, Whistler. You were a kind and good spirit. You didn't deserve any of this._

Nor did you, Lucas.

We watched dispassionately as Zio clawed at our mouth, tearing the reaming in connective tissue as he threw the discarded and useless lump to the ground. His attempts to speak only made it harder on him as his lungs filled with the thick metallic liquid, drowning us slowly. Nimble had us restrained on the ground as he examined us. From behind him, I saw and heard Mable crying. Her whole body shook as she wiped at the sticky red spots covering her face. Pint was saying something, but it was hard to make out words right now. My vision seemed to be getting more and more focused on a certain spot in front of us as the darkness crept in to fill the remaining space. Our hands flailed at the stump in our mouth as if to stanch the flow, but it was hopeless. Zio seemed to realize this around the same time we did.

**Damn you both! IF YOU LIVE, I'LL RETURN THE "FAVOR" YOU'VE DONE FOR ME TODAY... I PROMISE.**

And he was gone. The feeling of malice and anger lifted, like a heavy bolder from his chest.

_At least we beat him._

That we did. The price was high, but we paid it in full.

Our vision dimmed further. By this point, I was hardly aware of anything around me. Duncan was gesturing at Pint and Nimble, but I felt somehow outside events. Both men veered to the right suddenly, as if pulled by some unseen force. It was Duncan that stood over us now. His mouth was moving, but no sound came.

_Maybe he's been possessed too. _

No, I think we're just fading away.

_Yeah, probably. At any rate, I'm here with you. We'll see it through to the end._

Glad to have the company.

We were distracted from our goodbyes when he drew his staff, forced our mouth open, and put the tip of the lyrium crystal against the raw flesh of our mouth. An impact and expansion inside me hit like a flaming barrel launched from a catapult. It cracked against my face. If this was death, I was hoping it'd be over any second. We got our wish when the blackness pulled in, swallowing us whole.


	37. Chapter 37

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 37:**

* * *

Despite her commands, the woman refused to obey. Here was another one showing similar signs as the first one. This was going from bad to worse.

Mayflower had been out in the fields working with the new recruits to get them trained up. The day was hot, and she could sense the laxness of her workers, hence why she was being more thorough and curt with her checks of progress. That's when she saw it, another Viddath-bas off by herself, digging a hole. This time, she would go to the appropriate parties directly. Mayflower went and fetched the woman herself. While she did so, everyone stood by and watched. This made her blood pump.

"Athloks, you are not Imekaris and this is not show and tell. We have work to be done, so work" She clapped her hands for emphasis and they responded.

They meant no harm with their curiosity, but it upset her all the same. She remembered what had happened to the first: There'd been a long investigation into his actions. They dug out the pit, but found nothing of consequence. Subsequent tests on the soil all showed it to be nothing out of the ordinary. Examinations on the man himself were inconclusive. It was clear that the Viddath-bas was not in control of its own mind, which was true for all of them; but that he was now miraculously refusing orders. When he was returned to the fields, the man returned to the spot and began to dig again. This caused further distraction and delays. He was then led away by the Ashkaari to study, but they came up with no results. It was decided that this one was a fluke. Perhaps he'd somehow managed to resist the qamek. Still, he could not be allowed to throw the balance of organization off. There was only one solution to his case. She was in attendance when they executed him. It was done with all due consideration, but done all the same. It didn't feel right to her.

Now she'd have to do the same for this one. Likely, the same thing would happen. What was it? Why were they digging in the fields? As far as she could tell, this one had not returned to the same spot, so what was compelling them to dig? When she got to the Ashkaari with the woman in hand, she kept it simple and to the point. "We have another one exhibiting strange behavior."

She let go of her hand and the researchers came forward to lead her into their building with a word of thanks. That made it worse for her.

It was hard for her to shake the feeling that she'd just played executioner to this innocent woman who had already paid the highest price a person could pay, their ultimate freedom. Her stomach turned and her eyes watered, but she walked back to her field all the same. By the time she got back, she was composed again and ready to continue her work. It was all to better the Qun.

* * *

Red/Green sat with her head on her fist, and thought about life. Things were going poorly with her Karashok that she was working with. He was not responding to therapy or simple treatments. Any other Tamassran would have given up the case by now to the Ben-Hassrath, but she hadn't. Why? She knew the answer: because it was too much like her own situation had been. She too had been a Karashok back when "she" had been a "he". He too had come down with soul sickness and it had been debilitating. There really wasn't any cure for it if it rooted into you too deeply and his had been an extreme case even as such went. They educated him to a her, sensing a knack for a gender-locked position. Now here she was.

It explained why she was unwilling to give up, but not how to solve the problem. She refused to toss it in on this one. Still, it might be safer for the man if she did. Soul sickness could just as easily lead to desertion just like that. So, why continue? That was the question she tried to answer. When he came for his session, she was still thinking on the matter.

"And how are you doing today? Better?"

"I think so."

He was still refusing to meet her eyes. It was a lie, and a bad one at that. She allowed her body posture to relax.

"Tell me about what you are feeling now and why."

He took his time, all the while looking down at the mat. When he spoke, his voice was soft. "Well... I feel okay, I guess. The reason I feel that way is that, um, I'm not sure." He trailed off.

Worse and worse. She let the concern show on her face. "Why are you not sure?"

"I don't know."

It was time to get tough. This time, her voice had steel in it. "You'll have to do better than that, Karashok, if you want to get well again. Come now, tell me the truth. How are you doing?"

His head hung low as his face collapsed, "Horrible. I can't escape it."

Finally, we might get somewhere.

"Can't escape what?"

"My actions. I know I'm required to take lives for the good of the Qun, but not like that. I-I... could have saved them. They were no threat. So why?!" His eyes burned.

Again, she pressed. "What do you think the reason is?"

"I don't know."

She folded her arms and stood. "You're stone-walling. You do know, but aren't willing to say."

His eyes stayed on the carpet, refusing to meet hers. She waited but he didn't go on. Inwardly, she sighed. It'd mean re-education. She had her duty to follow, regardless of her own personal feelings on the matter.

* * *

"Sir, why are we just sitting here?" Pint said, his voice holding a touch or reproach.

He was seated at the base of a tree, picking idly under his nails with a small knife. "Because we have no idea what just happened. One minute we were fighting, the next, he was dying."

"And? He's a Saarebas."

"We have an obligation to the Qun. It is not up to us to pass judgement." Nimble said, holding his voice level.

Pint paced back and forth in front of him. "But the man admitted to using magic. Don't we have a duty to-"

He stopped picking at his nails and gave him a hard stare. "To do what? Kill him? That is not our call to make. When he confessed to his actions I chained him, as was protocol. I'm not an Arvaarad. We fill our roles, not others."

"But, we cannot just let them use magic. It's forbidden." His tone was becoming strained.

"We are not in the Qun and our mission is not to apprehend mages. The former Tamassran, Whistler, was placed in chains because he was Qun. Do you see the difference?"

He nodded, his brow knit in concentration. "I do, Poker, or Nimble; but what I don't get is his relationship the Qun."

"That is not for you to get, Pint. You are given the information that you need. No more."

"It still doesn't seem right. He used magic against us, the other one."

"He did, and tried to take away the Saarebas, but we're at a stand-still. Do you want to climb up there?"

Pint said nothing, but scowled.

The other mage, Duncan, had used some sort of levitation spell to take both himself and Whistler up a small cliff with just enough space for the two of them. There were no hand-holds or ways to get up, but they were in range of a bow if it came to that. The only place they had to go was down, so Nimble had chosen to leave them where they were. He still hadn't decided what, if anything, to do from there.

And so he and Pint sat there in a tense silence. Nimble was much more nervous than he was letting on. Inside, he felt like he'd had too much caffeine. He'd seen what Whistler had done. Worse, he knew it'd been fatal if not for the intervention of the other mage. What had Whistler been thinking? Why had he wanted to die so badly?

* * *

Duncan sat with him on the tiny ledge of the cliff, hardly daring to move or breathe. The head of Rebas rested in his lap. It'd worked and the bleeding had stopped, but he hadn't yet regained consciousness yet. What had he done?! Well, he'd known what he'd done, tried to kill himself, but he didn't know why. Was it because they were about to kill each other? No, if that'd been the case, he could have intervened. So why bite his tongue off? It made no sense. It was like the act of-

He stopped the mental process, his mind was left racing. It was like the act of another. Maybe Whistler? No, that wasn't right. Lucas? It still seemed wrong. Was he corrupted by something else? Had he finally crossed the line and become a full abomination? It made him want to get away from his companion, push him away; but if he did that, the only place for his friend to go was down. If the fall didn't kill him, the other two would. He watched them from his perch. Both parties were doing their best to ignore the other.

That was another thing, why had he consented to be chained? Rebas had incredible powers, well beyond his own or that of anything he'd ever seen before. If he'd wanted to, he could have become a great hedge mage. He could seize control of a small town. He could do all that, and more, but he hadn't. He'd turned himself in. Didn't that tally with him wanting to die? Had all this just been a way for Rebas to die without having his own hands sullied? Nothing added up.

Round and round he went, but never once did he get the answers he was looking for. Worse, there was still no response from Rebas. The blood loss had been extreme. Patches of it had dried on his face and clothing to a dark ominous brown. They still had a sticky shine to them. How much longer could either one of them afford to wait?


	38. Chapter 38

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 38:**

Darkness and pain, that's what I had in spades. I wasn't sure where this void was or how I'd gotten there, nor did it feel like it mattered much. The black around me felt thick, as if it were some sort of viscous, heavy substance, and it surrounded me on all sides. Worse were the sounds traveling through it. They came from nowhere and fluctuated between a grating high-pitched whine and laughter. This sound swam freely through it while I stood still. I tried to cover my ears but couldn't locate them. My hands didn't seem to be there either. Even when I opened my mouth to scream, I got no response. I had no mouth to open. I was a form with no body. Still, the darkness felt crushing. It filled my lungs and pushed outward as the outside pushed in. Although I had no mouth, it felt like I was being suffocated by the dark ooze.

Help, someone. Help me.

From a great distance came a voice. _I'm here. _

I recognized it, but had no name to attach. I called back out to it.

Where are we, how do we get out, and who are we?

_I'm not sure of anything really, least of all where this is. Do I know you? I feel like I do, but not how. Either way, I'm glad to hear from someone else. Stay with me. We can think of something if we stick together._

And while I still felt everything pressing in on me with great force, I had someone with me. Together, surely we could think of a way out.

* * *

Duncan felt his head: too hot. He was burning up while his chest labored to draw air in. It was terrible to watch your friend dying while you could do nothing to help. Well, he'd doubtless saved him earlier, but what good would that do if he died shortly after? It would be somehow worse. He could do nothing more but wait and see if his friend pulled through. All he could do was watch and wait.

* * *

The pressing darkness served to distract us, but we finally had it, who we were and why. With it, came the memories of what happened before we'd entered this place. The possible conclusions on where we'd ended up did nothing to set us at ease. The ooze pressed in tighter as a fear gripped us both.

What if this is death?

His fear permeated outward to me. _Can't be! We're here together. _

And? Who can say what's beyond death?

_They always said spirits were beyond death, that you are the messengers. Is this where you come from?_

I-I don't know. My memories from before I came to you are hazy and make no sense. I... don't think this is it. It feels too close to reality. I have senses that can't be waived away with death. I think we're locked inside ourselves, fighting to stay alive. Remember what Duncan did?

_Yes, it was agony. You think we're just asleep or in some kind of coma? If that's the case, all we need to do is wake up. If we can do that, maybe we can escape. Let's try!_

But it wasn't so simple. The body doesn't come with an instruction manual on how to override automatic functions. This didn't discourage us. We fought and struggled against the darkness. As we did, it seemed to grow less and less real around us.

_Keep it up! If we can dispel this, I bet we'll wake up. We just need to keep fighting!_

With a final and tremendous push of willpower, the black receded, and we came to the surface like a swimmer coming up for air.

* * *

He felt him stir under his arms. Duncan looked down to see the muscles in his face pull. A cough erupted from him. It was wet and weak, but it was a cough all the same. He turned and brought up black bile. It stained the ledge a dark brown and smelled of copper. Duncan's heart pumped and his hands trembled as he watched Rebas's eyelids flutter open.

"Rebas! Thank the Maker you're awake!" Said Duncan, his voice wavering.

He watched as Rebas opened his mouth to speak. It exposed the raw stump of his tongue. The only thing that came out was a strange guttural sound.

Duncan placed his hand on his shoulder. "Rebas, it's gone. I couldn't save it. Please, try not to speak."

But he did. The process was painful to watch. At one point, he tried to swallow but only accomplished choking in the process. His eyes grew shiny as tears poured from them. It was clear he felt something, but had no way of saying it. His cheeks flushed against his pale waxy skin, his emotions having nowhere else to go. The whole time, he made a soft, strangled noise that pulled at Duncan's heart strings. He felt his own eyes begin to well up, his own tears leaving long wet lines down his cheeks. He didn't speak but only held him. What could he say that wouldn't seem trite or overly conciliatory. Instead. he said nothing, joining his friend in silence.

* * *

Pint and Nimble watched from below. It was clear even though they could hardly see it that Whistler had awoken. They heard the soft voice of the other man, his tone gentle and soft.

The dwarf turned to him and frowned. "Now what?"

He'd returned to his spot at the foot of a tree. "Now we wait to see what they do."

The small stout man folded his arms in front of him. "And if they turn hostile?"

"We repay them in kind. Until then, we wait."

His answer clearly didn't satisfy his companion. "So, until then, we just keep doing what we've been doing?"

"That's right. Now stop this. You can either wait with me, or go back to camp. Either option makes no difference to me."

Pint remained where he was. It was a shame as Nimble would have preferred to be alone right now.

Nimble's chest felt strange. He'd secretly been hoping for his friends death, that way he wouldn't have to be the one to deal with it. On reflection of the events, he determined that Whistler clearly wanted to die. Why else would he have bitten his tongue off? He even asked him on several occasions to take his life. Since he'd been too much of a coward to help him, he'd done all he could to escape this world, and would have done so too if that mage had not meddled in his affairs. Mages... all the troubles of this world originate with them. Now he feared that he would have to be the one to kill him. There were no other avenues left open to him. Taking him back in his weakened condition was not an option, he'd never make the journey. It seemed to him that there was really only one option open to him. Yet again, his chest tightened at the idea. Why did it have to come down this way? He did his best to remain calm and mentally prepare himself for what was to come.

* * *

Lucas and I had done it. We were out and back into the world, but no better off for it. Somehow, Duncan had managed to get us to safety. Neither Nimble nor Pint had pressed the attack, and I was rendered speechless by my own actions. And despite getting out of that world of darkness, I felt pain like I had never done before. The sheer act of breathing and swallowing became painful, so we tried to do so as little as possible. After his initial comments, Duncan remained mostly silent. Everything was unusually quiet and still.

We can't speak anymore.

_Yes, I know._

We also can't whistle.

_Yes, I'm sorry. I know how much you loved to do that._

It was the whole reason for my nickname. I wonder what they'll call me now? I wonder, can we still cast magic?

Lucas pondered this. _I think we might be able to. Remember how you whistled in our head and it still happened? I bet if we tried, it would work, but not right now. Now is not the time. _

I agree.

And so we waited on that narrow cliff for literally anything to happen that would force us to act.


	39. Chapter 39

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 39:**

Duncan and I sat on the ledge, dangling our feet off it to give us each more room. While we sat there, I took mental inventory, things weren't going well. The fire and pain in my head was intense. What made it all the worse were the times I could feel my tongue like some sort of ghostly appendage. During these times I tried to speak and found that nothing was there. Each time was a little worse. I felt my head dip in exhaustion, only to be drawn right back up each time I caught myself. Waves of heat emanated from my forehead like iron heated in a fire. It couldn't last much longer.

Through all this not once did either Pint or Nimble say a word. From up here, he could even see Mable, watching from a distance. What was she doing here? I focused back on the other two. It was clear they had every intention of waiting us out. They could afford to, we couldn't. Really, the only thing holding me there was Duncan. Without him I'd have plunged down at least half a dozen times. Occasionally, he'd turn to me and whisper encouragement, but they were just empty words hardly heard over my internal conversation.

_How much longer can we last do you think? _

Not much. I say we go down and accept whatever happens before it's too late.

_I'm okay with that. Despite how we feel, I'm glad we did what we did. We refused to be controlled by Zio and won. That has to count for something, right?_

Yes, it does.

I nudged Duncan and pointed at myself and down at the ground.

His look was bewildered. "Down, why? They'll kill us."

I shook my head emphatically and pointed again.

"I can't let you. I didn't risk my own hide just to hand you back over. No, Rebas, I won't."

I made to slide off the cliff, but he was ahead of me, his arms restraining me. "No, you'll get hurt."

Lucas and I clasped our hands together, begging him to let us down.

"But why? Why do it? They'll only chain you up again. Why do you need to make yourself into a martyr?"

There was no way to clearly express my intentions or feelings using simple gestures. If I had paper I could have managed it, but I didn't. All I could do was repeat the motions.

His sigh was deep and prolonged. "Okay, but I'm coming with you."

I began to shake my head, he ignored it. "I refuse to let you throw your life away. If they press the point, I'll press back." He said, gripping his staff tightly. Duncan had managed to hold on to it through all of this. He looked back over at me, making solid eye contact. "You're sure you want to do this?"

I'm sure, are you?

_Yes. If we don't do this now, we'll die up here. We need medicine or to put an end to this. If they try to attack Duncan, we protect him. He deserves it for what he did. Got it?_

I do. I've got one last trick up my sleeve. I'm not sure it will work, but it might. Just be ready for anything, okay?

_I always am._

I nodded to him. He seemed to accept this. "Good, then lets go." He turned from me and spoke down at the men, "We're coming down. Stay where you are. We won't fire on you if you do likewise."

He got no reply. The two of us were swallowed up by a bright light. When it hit our flesh, we became weightless.

* * *

"And how about now?" Asked Pint.

"Not yet."

"If not now, then when? We'll never have a better opportunity."

The two were floating down towards us. Their descent was leisurely. Attacking would be a simple matter, which is why he didn't.

My words came out low and slow, each one their own little sentence, "I said not yet."

The dwarf listened grudgingly. Nimble heard him talking under his breath. He made a mental note to speak with a Tamassran about some "re-education" for the man. This sort of behavior came from being too long outside the Qun, it had a way of making your forget the teachings. the two men continued their downward journey. Neither party moved after they touched down.

The man arched an eyebrow at him and spoke. "So..."

He did the same. "So, now what?"

"That's what I'm asking you. Name's Duncan. You already know Rebas, or Whistler as you call him. Since he can't talk, I'll fill the void and pick up the slack. I'm good at talking."

This drew a grudging chuckle from him. "Yes, I can tell."

"Might I have the pleasure of your names?"

Pint spat and looked away, remaining silent. "I'm Nimble. That mans name is Pint."

"Nice to meet you both."

"I'm not sure I can say the same. You have someone that belongs to us, mage. We'd like him back."

The eyebrow came up again. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. If you'd be so kind as to hand him over, we'll live and let live."

"Afraid I can't do that, Nimble. This here's my friend. Many a time he's saved me on the roads. Now I intend to do the same for him."

I made a menacing sound and let my hand drift down towards my weapon. "Then it seems you want to continue where we left off, huh?"

He shrugged. "Only if you force my hand. I'm not sure why Rebas did what he did earlier, but I know him well enough to know that he did it to save us. He's suffered enough for one day."

From behind him, he heard the indignant snort of Pint. "Save us? From what, his ability to speak?I'll grant you, it makes it easier to apprehend a Saarebas with no way to speak, but if you're trying to convince me that he's harmless now, save your breath. Mages can easily be corrupted."

Duncan turned back to him. "Seems your friends spoiling for a fight regardless of what happens. If you mean to attack, then do it." He waived the tips of his fingers at them. Cocky little bastard.

Now he was torn. The man had drawn a line in the sand and Nimble needed to act, the only problem was that he didn't feel like he had the inner strength to do it. No matter how he cut it, it meant death.

* * *

He stood there, holding his breath. Every muscle in his body tensing. Now he'd done it. Duncan had played his last card, and it seemed it wasn't enough. The dwarf was all but ready to charge while he was fairly certain that Nimble didn't want to. The horned man was bi and imposing, not the kind of guy you'd want to meet on the battlefield. This must be the one Rebas was pinning after. Personally, he found the horns and equipment he was packing downstairs off-putting, he preferred the fairer sex, but to each their own. Damn young fools.

The silence and inaction stretched on and on. Duncan made no movement, afraid it would cause them to attack in earnest. For now, they were all at a stand-still. Who would be the first to break the peace?

* * *

The sudden motion nearly caused Nimble to pull out his blade, but Whistler's slow progression and open hands helped to reassure him that he meant no harm. Okay, good. He meant no harm, now what?

From seemingly nowhere, a voice resonated in his head. It sounded like Whistler. _We won't attack if you don't. Duncan's our friend and not a member of the Qun. Originally, I was going to return with you, but now I can't. _

"W-what?! Where's that coming from?" Said Pint, his voice nervous.

From the look of surprise, Duncan had also heard it.

_Over here._ Whistler waived his hand. _I removed my tongue, but I can still speak this way. Let us pass._

Again, Pint spoke. "No! We can't. You are to be returned to the Qun."

Nimble's head boggled at this. How was any of this possible? Worse, wasn't hearing voices in your head possession? This idea must have occurred to Pint at the same time as he saw the man digging his fingers into the side of his head.

"Get out! Get out!" He yelled, then charged.

He had no time to stop him. The man lunged with a savage strength and speed. He dodged around the first man and swung at Whistler.

"Stop it! I'm in charge."

He didn't. He saw the hatchet being pulled back for a killing swing. Vines shot up between and the blade sunk into them, biting deep. When he tried to pull it back, it refused to budge.

_Stop and we will talk._

He let go and ran towards him, fists raised. This time, Nimble got to him, picking the little man off the ground. Pint didn't care for this. His arms and legs flailed as he screamed expletives. "Let go! Get your buggering hands off me!"

Nimble held on, his blade still in is scabbard. "Fine, you have our attention, so talk."

_Thank you, Nimble. As I was saying-_

But the words were cut off by the sounds of something tearing loudly above. Everyone looked to see some sort of black distortion appear overhead. It fell like a load of bricks and it's form was monstrous to look upon. It swiveled its head to survey everyone, it's light purple eyes like nothing he'd ever witnessed before.

**_I told you I'd return to pay you back! And here I find you with a group of friends and enemies. How amusing you are._**

It's voice wasn't the gentle touch that Whistler's had been. This was more like a metal tool given the voice to speak. Every nerve, bone, and muscle in his body shook, and at that moment, Nimble knew real fear.


	40. Chapter 40

**Saarebas - "The Dangerous Thing"**

**Chapter 40:**

Inside our head both Lucas and I rattled about, too stunned to really do anything.

_It's back! Already!_

I know.

It turned to us and spoke. **_So you thought you'd beaten me? How amusing. You might not be a viable puppet for me anymore, but I have so many other options. _**It stopped to chuckle. **_Maybe puppet's too harsh a term. Perhaps willing servant fits better. Who'd like to help out. _**

I saw his eyes scan the group, taking them in with its unearthly glow. No one moved. We were all too startled. His eyes stopped on Duncan first.

**_You. We meet again. _**

I watched as his whole body shook and his Adam's Apple dipped. "No, not me. I want nothing from you!"

**_Oh, but you do. It's a shame what you want might even be hard for me to grant. Maybe I can just bring Elaine to say hi, wouldn't that be nice? _**

Duncan fell to the ground and dug his fingers into his head. "Stop it! Get out, you're not wanted here."

The voice laughed, and moved on. **_Or maybe our dwarf friend here could benefit from a helping hand._**

He tightened his grip on the ax and stood his ground. "You're a vile twisted thing, demon!"

**_Big words from a man who'd give just about anything to feel special. How you wish you weren't a dwarf, you're secret longing to have the powers of magic, and how you chafe at the restrictions of the Qun. You'll need some "re-education", won't you? _**

Pint sputtered and gasped, trying to control himself. "Tw-twist not my thoughts."

**_I don't need to. You're afraid of the others knowing that the dogma only goes so far into you. Clever to convert and play a part, a man like you could be so much more, and I've never tried to work with a dwarf before. It might be a fun challenge. Would you like to dream for the first time in your life?_**

His ax flailed about pointlessly in the air. "No, no, no."

His laugh was deep as he flitted over to Nimble's side.

_This has to stop. Can't we do anything?!_

If you have an idea, I'm all ears!

Zio hung in the air around the big Vashoth. _**And how about you, big man? I can see inside your mind too. You're very tenderhearted. How sweet. **_

Nimble swiped his blade through the mist, but it only passed through as if he were no more there than morning fog.

**_Such fight and spirit! You could gain even more with my help. _**

"I'd rather earn it with my own two hands."

_**And such fierce loyalty to the Qun. I admire your dedication. But, you'll never be with Whistler AND the Qun. You have to pick one or the other. It's a shame you aren't as big of a man as you seem. You keep hoping someone will make the decision for you, but they won't. You pine after him so greatly one moment, only to wish for his death the next. What turmoil you've been through these last few days. Poor poor fool of a man.**_

Nimble had no response to this. He just kept swiping away at him without any real hope of connecting with him.

**_I think we have one more here, don't we? _**He moved a little way into the bushes and stopped. **_Come out, little girl, I only want to help. _**

We heard the shrill cries from a clump of bushes. It was Mable Tuppers. "Stay back! All I want is someone to take care of me. Why is that so much to ask for?"

**_Oh, it's not, and I agree; someone should take care of you. Why not open yourself up to me? I could guide you through life and get you everything you wanted, and more._**

A pair of hands could be seen over the foliage, pushing back at the mist. "No, I want no trouble."

**_So why offer to spy for that man over there? So handsome and masculine, did you think he'd reward you with time and affection? Oh, my sweet summer child._**

He came back and floated in the middle of everyone. _**Now that we've all spoken, w**_**_ho will take me up on my offer? It's for a limited time and only one of you can have my assistance. Who wants it most? _**

No one spoke. He waited, but only the sounds of the wind answered. **_How disappointing you all are. No matter, the seeds have been planted. Who will crack first?!_**

Alarm spread through us like wildfire.

_He did to them what he did to us! No, we can't let the corruption spread! Do something!_

What? I don't know what to do.

Both of us wracked our brains as we watched our companions struggling against the weight of Zio's influence. His eyes slid over to ours, and we heard that laugh of his in our head, but said nothing.

_How's he doing it? Where's the elf at? How can he release from his body? Wait, that's the answer! If he can, then you can too!_

Yes, but how? I've tried, but I can't separate myself from you.

_There has to be a way. _

And so we tried. I struggled, and pulled, and did all I could inside our heads, but couldn't find a way to detach.

_Hurry, I don't think they can last much longer._

He showed me visions of the others. They were perspiring, as if all of them were doing their best to lift heavy burdens.

I can't! No matter how hard I try, I can't. I'm pulling away as hard as I can and nothing happens.

_Flip it on it's head. _

What?!

_Let's try coming together instead of pulling apart._

Zio mus have been observing, because he intruded. **_What? No._**

_That's the answer! Come together so you can face him. _

**_That cannot be done. Stop it now before you ruin each other. _**

_Don't listen! Let's do this!_

I'm not sure how, but when we stopped trying to be separate people, we somehow became them. I felt myself going through a sort of duality process where I was both him and myself, receiving new information from two sources.

_Just a little more! I can feel it happening!_

_**You shouldn't know how to do that. It's something I could have taught you if you weren't so pigheaded. To do this incorrectly would mean the end of both of you. Regardless of how you feel towards me, you need to stop, now before you shred your souls to pieces!**_

We didn't. Instead, I peeled from him and floated in the space between us. I had no form or body, but I could feel the wind on my face. Everything felt wrong and off, my senses too sharp. I looked around to see that everyone had a strange aura around them that wasn't there seconds before. And then I saw him, more real than he had ever been, Zio. His mist was less loose about him, and he had form. We faced off as the others pointed up at me and made unintelligible noises.

"Leave us."

**_And if I choose not to?_**

I drew closer. He retreated, a look of alarm on his face. I said nothing, choosing to wait him out.

"Then I'll make you leave. I don't know how, but I will."

His face flushed plum. **_You think you're so smart, but you've become just like me._**

I shook my head, the sensation feeling so alien. "No, you're wrong. I'm looking to hep others without the benefit of gains."

_**So you think, but I'll show you what I mean.**_

His form grew indistinct as the mist rushed towards me.


End file.
